What do i identify myself with if im emotionally attracted to boys but physically and emotionally attracted to girls?
Last Updated: 05/20/2019 at 10:56pm
Meredith Seltzer, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
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Ultimately what you identify as is up to you, but it sounds like you could be (well, depends on your gender on what to call this, I'm not sure so I'll give the example as if you were a girl, and of course modify based on your gender identity) biromantic and a lesbian--this would mean you feel physical attraction to girls, but romantic attraction to both boys and girls. You're welcome to explore different identities in both the romance and sexual sides of things, and see what fits most with what you're feeling (but, you're of course not obligated to choose any, if you don't want)
You may identify as biromantic as you are emotionally attracted to both , attraction both sexual and romantic is on a spectrum and may change and if you do not feel currently comfortable with a label you do not have to label yourself :)
So emotional--more commonly referred to as romantic attraction in this sense--can be separate from sexual attraction. A person can be a girl and be romantically and sexually attracted to girls and only sexually attracted to boys, that is usually referred to as bisexual lesbian romantic. If you were a boy, it would be bisexual hetero(or straight) romantic. But there are lots of other gender identities involved in this equation as well which makes it a bit more difficult to speak to. You do not have to have an extremely specific label if you do not want one, but if you do, that is also very normal and fine. Simply identifying as "queer", which is an umbrella term might even feel better for you. There is no right or wrong way to consensually love and have sex.
Sexual and romantic orientations do not always coincide, and it sounds like it's your case. If you are emotionally attracted to boys and girls, you can identify as biromantic, and if you're physically attracted only to girls, you can identify as heterosexual if you're a boy or homosexual if you're a girl. In many cases there's no need to specifiy the difference between the two kinds of orientation, but sometimes there's a difference, and that's totally normal. If that's how you feel, you can think of yourself as a biromantic hetero/homosexual (according to your gender). It's a longer label, but you can feel free to use it if it describes how you feel!
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