What helped you accept your own sexuality and gender identity?
39 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2021 at 7:23pm
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Top Rated Answers
Realizing I can't change the way I feel and that the only way for me to be happy is to be true to myself. People surprised me with their support once I started opening up, it almost made me wonder why I had waited for so long.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2015 6:18pm
When I was in 8th grade, I always had a cloud over my head. It appeared as a guy and girl figure fighting over my head at night. I then dismissed it. Then in 9th grade, when I had a crush on a girl, I was in denial. I can't be gay!!! And then it struck me that it was ok, and I did my research. Then I learned about non binary gender, and I found that I was genderfluid. Then with that, I found I was actually pan and transgender. It was all with research and protest
Having supportive friends and family, and having the strength to stop being friends with people who didn't support me. It also helped me enormously to give myself the time and space to explore my sexuality to eventually get a better idea of what I want.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2015 5:31pm
Coming from a strict Christian background, I struggled to tell my family about my feelings towards other women. I knew from a very young age that I was attracted to both sexes, but it took me time to come to terms with it. Especially because being bi was somewhat frowned upon. It was viewed more of a call for attention, or a "stage" than an actual sexual identity. I knew in my heart that it wasn't a stage, and after I came to terms with it, I realized that the only opinion on my sexual identity that really mattered was my own. Eventually, my family came to terms with it, even though it's not a topic ever discussed. But being able to let other people know who I really am, freed me.
As someone who is both a lesbian and genderfluid, I can tell you that the thing that really and truly helped me was connecting with the LGBT community. Whether it be local, or online, it really did help to talk to people who could relate to me. Ultimately it takes time, but it's definitely worth it. Love yourself- you're a beautiful person!
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2018 9:26pm
So to start- I identify as a lesbian as well as nonbinary. Since I knew of other people and friends who were gay or bisexual, it was easy for me to feel like it was ok for me to like girls the way I did. It took me a lot longer to come to terms with my gender. A lot of it was just realizing that I wasn't alone and there were tons of other people who felt the same way I did. I was watching a YouTube video specifically about Pride, and there were about 10-15 LGBT+ people in this video, helping to make the audience feel that they were accepted and loved for who they were. If there's no one in your life who can relate, try connecting with someone here who does. One social media platform where I found a lot acceptance was Tumblr, but just remember to stay safe :)
For me, I think it was just a matter of time. And honestly, I'm still a work in progress. I have days where I feel ashamed or I find myself lying about my sexuality to fit in, but I've gotten better. Another important thing that helped me was surrounding myself with positive people, people who loved me regardless of my sexuality. It can be really hard to accept yourself if you are around people are not accepting (though sometimes this can't be changed if you live at home, etc. etc.). Lastly, I would say find role models in the LGBT community. If you don't have any in your real life, look to people online or in the media. Sometimes it helps to look up to someone who is LGBT and is also so many other things and to see how they are living openly.
What helped me? Telling myself that I was amazing as who I truly am, and not as who my parents/peers wanted me to be. And knowing that in the end, I'm more comfortable expressing myself as me. It's hard to pretend to be someone your not! Especially when you have to do it all the time!
Anonymous
January 16th, 2015 4:18pm
Connecting with others, who provided me with knowledge and acceptance, if not face-to-face, than by books and articles, forums and chats.
First of all, awareness. The more I learnt about my orientation, about the LGBT realities and the experiences of LGBT people, the better I felt about being part of it. Another great help comes from feeling supported and accepted for you are.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2016 7:09pm
Processing what I knew and slowly coming to terms with it. Day by day. It's never easy accepting something that maybe new or different, and it definitely does take time, but with time comes patience and understanding. It may not happen over night and it will take some getting used to, but the way you feel and are happiest is part of acceptance.
hey guys I bri and I have to say its hard learning who you are but once you do don't give up don't let any stuck up idiot out there persuade you that your not who you say you are ok
Anonymous
December 15th, 2015 4:25am
Realizing that there are others like me with the same experiences, that there was so much support in places I never expected it to be.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2015 2:42pm
The self-confidence and self-acceptance helped me accept my own sexuality and gender identity. The confidence in myself and my choices made me accept myself easily.
What helped me accept my own sexuality and gender identity is being around very supportive friends and family, especially my queer friends/family who know what it's like to struggle with one's own identity.
Sadly, as an agender person, I don't get much media representation, which can be crucial in helping people accept their identity. However, by finding the LGBTAQ+ community online and being a part of it, really made me realize that my identity is valid, normal, and natural
Time helped me more than anything else. The longer I had to get comfortable with who I was, the more I grew to accept myself. It's hard to learn to accept yourself overnight, but as long as you keep moving forward and opening yourself up to new things, you will get there.
Well I knew I was gay when I only wanted to be with men I tried to be with a woman I even had a kid with her but I was living a lie and in love with her brother and when everytime I went to the gym I was turned on even when I tried to not get excited id did being near men in the locker room was realy hard because men all shower together and I found myself turned on and surrounded by naked men in the locker room thank god for towels lol and when I could not get excited for women even when they were undrested in front of me I just could not perform but when I got home I opened up a playgirl magazine and boom I was hotter than ever I knew then I was gay all the way when I would get jelious seeing girls touch a guy I was hot for I knew then I needed a boyfriend
I took time to myself. I did battle with it for quite sometime, but I eventually decided that if I couldn't accept myself for who I am, then how can I expect anyone else too.
I did also have friends who supported me and allowed me to be who what I saw myself as.
I also got this constant feeling of being lost and confused. This is when I took time to express myself in more than one way to see if it felt right to me.
If this is something you're battling with, I'd say to spend some time with yourself. Think about what makes you happy and what brings you joy in life. If its a sexuality or gender that you want to explore in, then give yourself time to. You don't always have to decide right away. Its a big topic and everyone has their own time to know who they truly are and then be comfortable with it.
Online information and especially online friends from twitter helped me come to terms with my own sexual identity. From there, I continued to seek support from friends in the real world and that contributed to a whole acceptance of myself. It is always important to find sources of support that understand you and encourage you to be yourself.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2018 2:45pm
My friends. I have a bunch of friends that are in the LGBT+ community too, and seeing them accept themselves has helped me accept myself too.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2018 11:52pm
Honestly, I feel the thing that helps most is time, time to come to terms with who you are and how these labels on your sexuality and gender might affect your life. Also being around supportive friends can be really helpful.
Talking to people that identified as similar or the same. realizing that I was not alone and it wasn't just a 'stage.'
Anonymous
November 21st, 2017 9:42am
Finding others who love and accept me too. The lgbtq+ community is so supportive and loving and can help you support and love yourself.
I definitely reached out to other people within the community. Whether it was people I knew in real life, or through groups online! It helped me a lot to talk to people who could relate and understand what I was feeling/going through. Eventually they helped me gain enough confidence in myself to the point where I could just decide for myself that it was time to live life the way I was meant to and not be scared. Once I started coming out to people things just got easier and easier! You will get there one day and you will enjoy it so much :)
Anonymous
August 14th, 2017 10:43am
Lots and lots of support from people online. There are so many caring and compassionate people out there on the web, willing to help you accept yourself.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2017 5:40pm
What helped me accept my own sexuality, personally, is watching other people who are happy and proud of their own sexuality (youtube has plenty of proud lgbt+ representatives sharing their own experience). Embracing themselves and being open about it. Then, that inspired me to not care so much about what people thought and to be little selfish (in a good way) and focus on what makes me happy because I know that I am not doing anyone any harm as I am just simply loving another human being.
To accept my sexuality (or lack of it) and my gender identity it helped me to understand that there are people around me who feel the same way and I am not alone. By connecting with them I realized those people share some of my struggles and understand me in ways others dont.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2015 7:07pm
What helped me accept myself as who I am is realizing that other people are like me to, and that it just makes me I little bit more special then other people.
When I first realised that I wasn't like other girls, and I liked both boys and girls, I was really scared. I live in a religious family, and although they aren't homophobic, being gay isn't exactly seen as the best way to live. However, after meeting lots of wonderful, supportive people online, I started to accept the fact that I was bisexual. Then I told my friends. They were really helpful and supportive, which made me feel more comfortable being bi. Now I can shout it proudly from the rooftops; I'M BISEXUAL AND PROUD!!
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