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What if you come out, and everyone turns against you?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 04/27/2021 at 12:18am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Monique Thompson, LPC, LPC-S

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am in my 21st year as a psychotherapist. I have worked with over 3, 000 people over the course of my career.

Top Rated Answers
February 26th, 2015 1:52am
If you come out, and everyone turns against you, there is still support out there and there are many people who will be supportive of you. Even strangers. There are many LGBT groups you can join, whether it be in your specific location, or on the internet. You are never alone.
May 11th, 2015 11:24pm
Then those people, while they may love you, are not meant to be in your life at that moment. Sometimes people will calm down, after the initial shock wears off, but there may be those who you don't deserve you and should be left where they are. m
June 15th, 2015 12:39am
Well, if they turn against you after you've come out then they're not really your friends or your family. I understand that it'd be difficult to hear that, but it's true. People who love you for you would stick by you if they cared enough to.
June 29th, 2015 7:41pm
If you come out and people dont want to be around you then thy were never your friend beleive me as a gay man, you will find your true friends the one who love you on the way up and love you on the way down.
July 6th, 2015 4:57am
Don't let anyone stop you from being you, you will eventually find people who will support you, and those are the people who deserve to be in your life.
November 17th, 2015 9:37am
I think time heals everything. People will eventually forgive and forget. Let them sink in. Let them know how good your intentions are.
January 11th, 2016 5:57pm
You will still have your own spirit, and you'll be free to live your life without hiding who you really are. If people are worth keeping around, they'll accept you for who you are. And whatever you do has to be right for you; you can't go around living your life for someone else. There are plenty of LGBTQ+ support groups out there to support you if things really do go bottom up, but I would advise you not to always expect the worst. People can surprise you in ways you would never have thought.
February 8th, 2016 3:54pm
You will be surprised to find there are just as many people supporting you as there is those who don't. Stick to those who do. You can't change.
February 9th, 2016 10:35am
In this day and age there will always be someone there who supports you. This person may be a complete stranger. This means that you will simply have to either educate those around you, or let them have less of an influence in your life. Don't let other people bring you down, you are apart of a revolution.
March 1st, 2016 8:58pm
No one should be forced to "come out of the closet". Often, LGBTQIA+ people need to keep their sexual and romantic orientations a secret for safety reasons. Sharing such a precious part of yourself with friends and family /can/ lead to horrible situations. If you do not trust those around you to support you and are worried about their reactions, I urge you to not share your sexuality with them until you're in a safe(r) space. (For instance, if you are a teenager, wait until you are able to move out.) If/when you are comfortable with sharing, remember that are allies,support groups, shelters willing to aid you on your journey. The people you know might turn against you and it will hurt, but the world is a large place. Not everyone is so closed-minded. We are here for you.
April 11th, 2016 4:00pm
Not everybody will turn on you, Yes there will be some that will and honestly, That is when you find out your true friends, and as far as family goes, They will either be accepting, or they may not agree with it and may need some time to understand, But they won't stop loving you. I must stress though that if they don't agree with the situation that it doesn't mean that they don't love or care about you, It just means that they need more time to understand.
May 31st, 2016 9:41am
Try your best act like you did before and find someone to talk to who can help or who's had the same experience ask them what they did but don't copy everyone's different
February 27th, 2017 1:11pm
Coming out can easily change one's life, relationship or social acceptance. Even with the many risks, it's the most important thing to do. Mostly not everyone will turn against you and even if some people might do, you have to think for yourself if losing a friendship with someone who doesn't support your sexuality is a big deal in the long run.
April 23rd, 2018 1:42pm
Just stay yourself. Don't change for other people. If you have to prove your worth to them, they are not worth your time.
January 19th, 2021 11:21pm
That is a really hard situation to be in. First, remember that sometimes people surprise you and things work out better than expected. That said, sometimes this does happen. I’d first and foremost remember that it is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. In fact, the people who are abandoning you are the ones in the wrong. Then, I’d try to find people who accept you for who you are. They are out there waiting to support you and be your friend. It’s a hard process, but in the end you’ll end up with people who care about you and all of you.
April 27th, 2021 12:18am
In my personal experience and others who I have known who have come out there has always been a core group of people that have stood by me and others who came out, indeed, the case has often been that I (or they) have developed new friends. I guess the tricky issue is if there are people who you are invested in a relationship with and they turn against you. I had a few of those and I focused on the people who stood by me and not worried about those who didn't. Coming out can be scary but done with the right support tends to not be as bad as we imagine in our heads.