What if you don't want to be labeled, but you want to explore without people guessing?
Last Updated: 10/13/2020 at 6:03pm
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
Top Rated Answers
It's up to you what you own ! What others say is only as important as you make it ! If your a adult what you do is your choice it's always best to stay safe and explore all the situations that could impact on your smile first !
Then when people ask tell them that you're questioning. And that they shouldn't automatically think that you're what they are labelling you as. You do not have to tell anyone anything if you don't want/don't feel ready.
Sadly society does tend to label people. The trick is not to care what other people think of you. Just be true to yourself or you'll never be free/happy. It's hard keeping secrets because in the end the truth ends up out. Learn to love yourself and don't worry about what everyone else is saying/thinking/doing :)
To explore without people guessing at what you are or even who/whom you are, make sure people know this. Communication is best in this situation; you have to let people know that you are exploring yourself and that they must be patient just as you are with yourself.
Then you should do exactly that. It's perfectly okay to explore parts of yourself that you don't understand. The most important thing is to realize that other peoples' negativity doesn't define you.
I would say to try and do things in private. People will label you no matter what, so the only way to avoid it is do things in private.
People will always label and guess when they see something that they can't understand or is new to them. But that does not mean that it is wrong or it should effect you.
If you don't want to be labeled, you could consider telling people that you're curious about your sexuality/gender and that you don't want to define it right now.
If you have the certainty or the feeling that someone is trying to guess, you can just be direct and tell them that you don't want to label yourself, so there's no point in trying to fit you into a category while you yourself do not identify as any - for the moment, and maybe not ever. Directness and open-heartedness sometimes are the solution, if you explain with clarity how you feel, respectful people will accept your word. Of course, controlling what everyone thinks is impossible and maybe someone will keep on making assumptions, but you'll know you've done your best, and may convince at least some people!
Yes, yes this is the one. I feel like I was in the same place you are now a few years ago. I don't know if you should follow my advice but here is what I did. I said screw the labels, because I personally believe,..(and this is based on nothing but my thinking and maybe a bit of the movies I had been watching).....,I believe that humans can generally not comprehend things they do not know. Which would explain why we have a name/word for everything and as soon as something new is found, it is labelled. It doesn't matter what you decide. If you do not explore you are labelled heterosexual and if you do, then they have all labels for that, I think labels just complicate things. I really does not matter what you decide because even if you decided not to explore anyone or anything, guess what, your label becomes asexual. I do not think there is anything you would do or even not do that would make you label-free. Some labels are just more conspicuous than others and there is nothing we can do about it. You decide whether you will let the labels apply to you or not, whether you fit the criteria of a certain label or not.
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