Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

When is the right time to come out?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 04/24/2021 at 5:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Italy
Moderated by

Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor

Licensed Professional Counselor

I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
JoyfulDreamer39
March 2nd, 2015 5:41am
There's no right time or place. It's up to you, whenever you are ready and feel comfortable about it.
bethdoeslife
April 18th, 2015 10:20am
When the coast is queer :) Aha no, whenever you feel happy doing so, don't feel pressured into doing anything. Come out when you feel it's the right time :)
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2016 1:08am
Sometimes, there just isn't a "right time". Coming out can be so scary. Sometimes we feel like we're never ready and never will be. The right time for you to come out is when you feel that it's safe, when you feel ready, and when you're prepared to face the changes that may come next.
Hanna195
July 20th, 2015 11:54pm
It is hard to know sometimes when the right time to come out is. I hate that we even have to 'come out'.. we should just be able to come home or say to others 'Oh I have a girlfriend/boyfriend now' with no judgement or shock. Come out when you are ready to come out, when you can face judgement or acceptance. Make sure you know yourself to know what you identify yourself as or if you identify yourself at all and make sure you can be happy with yourself! Prepare just incase for any judgement, shock etc because it may happen and has happened to a lot of people! But try to keep positive! You will feel great and a huge weight lifted off your shoulders! good luck! x
Ahlex
July 13th, 2015 10:33am
Honestly I think the best time to come out is when you're financially stable on your own, due to the fact that a lot of parents seem to recklessly kick out their kids for it.
yourfabsenpai
May 27th, 2015 11:46pm
The right time to come out is when you feel comfortable. Some people come out in their 60s while others come out when they are 14. It just depends on if you're comfortable with your sexuality and if you feel that the person you are coming out to, is trustworthy or needs to know. Just make sure that you're not putting your life in danger. (ex. getting disowned, being assaulted, isolation, etc.) There are many websites/hotlines that can help you with coming out. Ex. Kids Help Phone, LGBT Foundation, The Trevor Project, and more!
iPheonix
October 23rd, 2015 3:10pm
Coming out is a matter of being proud and comfortable! If you're happy with the way you are and have friends or family you'd like to share that with, you should be more than proud to! :) Share the love.
trisjlistens
October 22nd, 2015 8:18pm
Trust me, you will feel it and when you do, go for it. Just remember not to pressure yourself.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2015 2:52pm
When you feel comfortable enough to admit it to yourself without having any negative judgment on yourself, I think that would be a good time to come out. Because although you would receive tons of support, there would be many out there that would not support you or share your believe. And it is at those times of adversities where your self acceptance would be helpful.
Rachel0293
May 7th, 2015 9:59pm
Whenever you're ready. There may not feel like a "right time". Sometimes you just have to go for it.
wahmaka
May 10th, 2015 10:25am
You should come out whenever you know that doing so is safe and you are finally ready to tell the people around you. Do not feel pressured to do something you don't want to, you've got your whole life to get ready for it.
Mswim72
December 20th, 2015 11:53pm
There will never be a perfect time but first u have to accept that everybody might not be okay with it right away it might take time and some people will never be okay with it
GlitteringBubbles37
April 18th, 2015 6:01am
Whenever you feel you are ready, nobody should ever feel like they have been pressured into such a personal thing, it's all about you and when you feel the time is right.
Folieaun
February 13th, 2018 5:39am
Your safety is the priority. Make sure you feel comfortable, and the person that you'd like to come out to is ready to listen.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2015 4:08pm
When you're ready to, and you finally admitted it to yourself. You can't come out without knowing one hundred percent what you're into, and it's only you that can help yourself. It's a self process, you can't rely on anybody about it. So come out when you're ready, don't feel pressured, and come out if you feel like you want to.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 13th, 2019 12:10pm
There's no right or wrong time to do it. You can do that whenever you feel ready and you think that the freedom of being who you are openly would be a bigger comfort for you than keeping hiding.
amazingHeart17
October 14th, 2015 7:07pm
The right time to come out is whenever you say it is, you should never feel forced to come out, but you should never feel forced to stay in the closet your whole life either. Come out whenever you feel like you're ready, it's all up to you.
originalLion57
June 4th, 2015 8:36pm
When you feel ready and when you have a supportsystem you can lean on. Also when you think you know how your family/friends/surroundings will react so you have a backup plan in case something goes wrong.
hopefulmax
June 30th, 2015 6:49pm
Whenever you know it's safe to come out and when you're sure about your sexuality (you don't need to label yourself if you're confused). Whenever you know how to do it and when you're sure you can do it.
aremedy4memory
May 16th, 2015 4:04pm
Whenever we feel ready to do so,whenever we are certain we know who we are and are alright with it,so it's different depending on the person
Probius
October 23rd, 2015 2:46pm
The right time to come out is when you feel comfortable doing so. You are the person who gets to decide when and to whom you will come out. There is no need to rush, you can take your time.
Sierra8D
March 16th, 2016 2:32am
Early when you're young. That way people will be able to know sooner and if you were to tell them later, they would think you were hiding it from them all this time.
mzpro10
April 26th, 2016 7:54pm
Depends on the situations, sometimes it's not good to come out in the first place. But in other situations coming out is a big step where a person has to make sure he/she is fully independent and is sure they don't need anyone they're telling as things might not go as planned (some of the time). After that the person should make sure the people he/she are going to tell are not going through rough times, like grief or physical/emotional traumas. Make sure you are aware of who you're coming out too, sometimes coming out to each person at a time is better than dealing with a sea of emotions! Finally if you feel you're ok on all these levels well make sure you get all your stuff out of the closet on your way out!
DrParkerListens
July 12th, 2016 5:05am
When you feel ready. When you start accepting yourself your life feels a lot more aligned and happy. Scary at first, but a truth worth expressing.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2020 7:45pm
The right time to come out is when you are safe, comfortable, and ready to do so. Often times, coming out is a spur-of-the-moment thing that happens when you know it's time. However, if coming out will put you in a precarious position, it may be best to wait until your independent and can handle the consequences of coming out. If you're comfortable and ready, but simply don't know when to say it, Pride month (June) and National Coming Out day (Oct. 11 in the US) are favorable days to come out. And lastly, you do not owe it to anyone to come out because you are still part of the LGBTQ+ community whether your out and proud or not.
RubyDragonTea
October 13th, 2020 3:56am
When you are ready. I know that is not the most useful answer, but here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you decide if it is time: Will coming out feel good? Will there be a sense of relief, or will it cause more stress? Are the people around you accepting of non-cis people? Will the people closest to you give you support? How likely is it that you would be found out nonvoluntarily? Is it important that you tell people yourself, before they find out another way? Also, if you are feeling more rational than emotional about coming out, you could try and make a chart with pros and cons for coming out or waiting. The chart might not give you an answer, but it might help clarify to you what the consequences of each option could be.
silverPurple42
December 17th, 2019 6:35pm
When you feel ready .. don't worry about anyone else this is about you so the right time is when you are 100% ready too. You make the decision and go about the way you want to. If you don't feel ready yet then it's not the right time take as much time as you need but always make sure it's on your terms and not someone pushing you to I'm out.. chin up and feel proud I wish you luck .. my chat is always open if you need to talk to anyone about this or just want someone to listen
Jacobbjackson
August 13th, 2018 12:14pm
To be honest, it’s whenever you feel safe. Never come out if you don’t feel safe because abuse happens all the time. Also just whenever you are comfortable.
prozpera
May 15th, 2018 9:04am
There is no specific right time. Do it when you're feeling fully comfortable about coming out and don't pressure yourself.
amonto
April 24th, 2021 5:52pm
The right time is when you are ready to come out, do not let anyone pressure you into outting yourself if you are not ready to come out. Make sure you are in a place where you will feel safe coming out, pick the place you want to be, pick the people you want to be around, and say as much as you feel comfortable saying. As a bi maybe pansexual individual, I am not out to my family as I personally do not know where my sexuallity stands, and I am not ready to do so. It does not mean I do not love my family, or think they would be upset with me, but because I have my own timing of things, and want to do it when I am ready. I hope this helps!