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Who should I come out to first? Family or friends?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 11/22/2021 at 2:10am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD


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Top Rated Answers
December 13th, 2017 9:40am
I suppose it helps to weigh up who will be the most accepting and supportive! The situation will depend on your personal relationship with friends and family members. Once you've come out to one accepting person, not only is it much easier to come out again but that person can help you with coming out to others! Good luck with coming out ^-^
December 27th, 2017 2:15am
There is not a single answer, it can be different to each person. I think the most important it's that you feel comfortable with the first person you are going to talk about it. You can tell who you trust the most first or who you want them to know first. I hope that you'll find support in them.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 2nd, 2019 10:25pm
Coming out is something very personal, so you're free to decide if and when to do it, however and with whoever you prefer. It's all about what would make you feel more comfortable, and who you would be more comfortable opening up with. Whatever you decide, both family and friends can be very important sources of support, so you're free to start with whoever you prefer!
February 27th, 2018 4:49am
To whoever makes you feel comfortable, if it's a pretty serious thing, look for professional help. Safety first.
April 30th, 2018 11:52pm
Coming out is not an easy thing to do, and deciding on whether or not to come out to your friends or family first is something that is entirely up to how comfortable you are with those people. When I came out, I came out to my friends first, to see what their reactions would be, and then to ask them how to come out to my family, and for support. Deciding on who to come out to first is up to you to decide, and about how comfortable you are with that group of people.
May 3rd, 2018 5:18pm
that depends entirely on who you feel most comfortable talking to about this subject. it can be a difficult to have, so I do recommend picking someone who will be accepting
September 25th, 2018 9:29pm
Whoever you are most comfortable with. Whoever you feel it is safest to come out to first.
November 6th, 2018 6:12pm
Coming out to someone is a very big step and it’s great that you’re thinking about it! What matters the most is that you’re comfortable and confident in yourself, in who you are, and in your choice to come out. Also make sure that you’re in a safe environment, both mentally and physically, before you come out. There is no right or wrong person to come out to first it just matters who you feel safe confiding in and coming out to. No matter what remember that you are loved and have a whole community behind you that will support you no matter what.
October 21st, 2019 1:03am
It sounds like you first came out to the most important person first, yourself. Commend yourself on recognizing your true inner feelings and who you are, when so many wish they had the bravery to look inside themselves that way, so however you identify youself, that is a great first step to decide to come out. Beyond that, only you know the right way. Look at the support you have from family and friends. Some are much closer to one or the other. Start with where you feel the most trust and security. Enjoy this experience most of all, this is a happy time to share this with those who love you the most, and will wish you support and happiness. Let this come natural, and go where the trust, love and support is.
November 22nd, 2021 2:10am
Who you come out to first is ultimately up to you and your situation and what you're most comfortable with, but in most instances friends seem to be the most accepting right away where in some cases family can be a little tricky depending on how they feel. You're very brave for coming out and whoever you choose to come out to first, I'm sure will welcome and accept you with open arms. Sometimes people consider coming out to both family and friends at the same time and it's like telling two in one, so that might be something to consider as well.