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Why am I attracted to people of the same gender?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 12/21/2020 at 9:02pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
January 21st, 2015 3:34pm
There is no specific reason for a person's attraction towards one gender(s) or another. It's simply a part of who you are, and there's not a thing wrong with it.
August 22nd, 2016 3:21am
I don't think an answer for this is beyond anything other than my brain says so. It's just how I have always felt. i always knew I liked girls. Even when I was young.
July 25th, 2016 10:17am
In earnest: only you can answer that question correctly. Others can only give you their subjective opinion or experience to why you feel what you feel. The problem with feelings are that they are very often not rational, and can be hard to think through. But it can help to start by asking questions around other aspects of the same subject. Why aren't you attracted to people of the opposite gender - or if you some times are, what is the difference in the feelings/attractions? What does this attraction actually feel like - what is it you want to connect to in that person? Thinking about and around your feelings might get you a better answer to your question than any answer given by anybody else.
July 26th, 2016 8:28am
The same reason someone else might be attracted to a person of the opposite gender. It just is. You just are. There's no deeper reason than that. You can't help who you are attracted to.
September 5th, 2016 4:47pm
Because that's who you are. You can't help what you feel, or who you love - it's just you. Don't be afraid of your sexuality, because you're perfect.
June 5th, 2015 1:16am
It's simply what you like. The body is simply a vessel. It allows us to live and be who we want to be. The gender is simply a coincidence but the love is real. At the end of the day, our body is just skin and bone with other things thrown in. The gender shouldn't matter as long as you're happy and are in love with the other person.
January 25th, 2016 12:59am
its something we can't answer as it is just a part of who we are. I would be happy to listen if you would like to have a chat with me anytime.
September 6th, 2016 9:44pm
You are attracted to people of the same gender because that is who you are attracted to. It's as simple as that. Some people are attracted to the same gender, some to the opposite gender, and some to both. It's just how you are born.
January 17th, 2017 1:35am
It's incredibly hard (and maybe not even possible) to control who we are attracted to! If youare attracted to someone of the same gender it is most likely something you cannot help. If this person or people happen to be of the same gender, different gender or both it might be that you want to decide to identify as gay, lesbian or bi-sexual. However, it's fine to explore your sexuality and decide how you identify in your own time.
July 20th, 2015 5:51pm
Because it's just what you like and nothing is wrong with that at all. You like what you like and don't let anyone tell you what to like or not to like.
July 21st, 2015 2:16pm
Its just how you are, we are all so so different, you were born like that - dont let anyone else put you down or get in your way x
August 3rd, 2015 6:51pm
It is because you are gay. It is completely normal. Don't worry about it. You are born this way. Lots of people are. You may also be bi, pan, or something like that so if you want, you can research about it.
September 22nd, 2015 12:25am
Unfortunately there is no clear answer to this, outside of some pretty specific neuroscience which wouldn't explain why so much as how. You are simply attracted to whomever you are attracted to, and that's ok.
February 22nd, 2016 6:46am
Well, you might be gay! Here's the good news: not only are you not alone, you're going through something completely natural. As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's totally okay to be attracted to the same gender! Feel free to explore labels and find what fits you, or choose none at all.
June 28th, 2016 7:28am
You might be a Lesbian/gay/bisexual. Lesbian/Gay are those that are only attracted to the same sex only. Bisexual are those that are attracted to both sexes.
July 27th, 2016 2:25pm
It's just how you are, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Some people will try to tell you that being straight is the only accepted norm, but the truth is, being attracted to the same gender is perfectly fine. Millions of LGBTQIAP+ people can vouch for that.
August 1st, 2016 11:10pm
It's just the way you were born. Sexuality isn't something that you can help or control. Coming to terms with being part of the LGBT+ community can be really rough, especially when you come from a background where the community is extremely looked down upon. I was lucky to have been able to come out in such a socially liberal setting as New York. I was taught my whole life that whatever you wanna be is fine, as long as you're happy and not harming anyone. My sexuality and being with girls is something that makes me happy and something that really isn't impacting anyone in a negative way. It's not your fault if other people react badly to the way you were born. It's sort of like if you told someone you had an outie belly button and they told you it was just a phase or that it was unacceptable for you to be that way. You were born that way. It's completely fine to be attracted to the same gender. I promise.
June 20th, 2017 8:42am
Why are people attracted to the opposite gender? Attraction is natural, be it sexual or romantic or just wanting a friend, you're going to love someone. Simple answer: you just do.
July 3rd, 2017 3:34pm
There is nothing wrong in how you feel. Some people are attracted to the opposite gender, some to the same gender, and some are attracted to both genders. There is nothing wrong in any of these and all of them are normal. No one can really answer a "why" but I can assure you that there is nothing wrong in it. I know it can be hard initially, but love and accept yourself as you are. You are much more than who you are attracted to.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 2nd, 2019 8:58pm
Attraction is something innate, something that is born with us, and any kind of orientation is totally natural and normal. You have feelings for people of the same gender because you were born this way, and it's ok. Love is always love, attraction is always attraction, it doesn't matter who you share it with, as long as you follow your heart.
December 21st, 2020 9:02pm
That is totally normal and ok! You are attracted to people of the same gender because that just so happens to be who you are attracted to. Some people are attracted to people of the opposite gender, some people attracted to the same gender, some people both, and some nonbinary. All of these are normal, good totally ok. You should be proud of being exactly who you are and liking who you like. I support you and know that your feelings and attractions are 100% valid and ok. You've got this my friend, I belive in you.