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Why are the chances of finding someone to love in the LGBT community so slim ?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 09/22/2020 at 1:53am
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Top Rated Answers
December 5th, 2014 6:18am
Only about 1 in 10 people are gay, so undoubtedly there's going to be a less of a chance finding someone who is part of the LGBT community, rather than finding someone who is straight. Don't fret, however! With the internet becoming an increasingly popular tool for dating and matches, it's much easier to find someone in the LGBT community to love than finding someone in person.
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
December 5th, 2014 6:23pm
This question assumes the chances are slim, and as far as I know, there haven't been any studies to conclude such. Essentially, the process would be the same as finding love outside the LGBT community -- meet people who have similar interests, talk, date, and take things from there. There are fewer people in the LGBT community than otherwise, which can make it more difficult. However, if we take the very low percentage from a Gallup poll (which only surveyed the US and only asked if people identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender), there are still over 9 million US adults in the LGBT community. That's a lot of people! Imagine if we applied that same percentage to the global population of adults. Other difficulties may come with location. The same Gallup poll found that conservative states tended to have a lower population of LGBT people than more liberal states, which makes a lot of sense. If you're in a place that isn't kind to LGBT folk, there may be far fewer of them around or they may be too frightened to congregate. That can make meeting others more difficult. Thankfully, the Internet can always help. There are many sites dedicated to helping LGBTQ+ people (and all others of non-cishet identities!) meet, become friends, and maybe more. So yes, there are fewer of us, which means your pool of potential partners may be smaller, but that doesn't mean you can't find someone. It just means you have to know where to look. Like finding pants of just the right size and style.
December 6th, 2014 6:36am
I would challenge the idea that the LGBTQ community has slim chances of finding love, however I can certainly agree that there are hard parts about finding people when an LGBTQ identity can be so well hidden. People deal with this in a number of ways - some just wait and give it more time, some use online dating sites, and some join and/or hang our in LGBTQ friendly spaces where people are more likely to be Out or there may be a higher percentage of LGBTQ people in those areas. I'm sorry things are hard for you right now though - it sounds like you've been looking for a partner(s) for a while and not had much luck. :/ I hope things get better for you soon!
December 6th, 2014 6:42am
The chances of finding love in the LGBT community are not so slim. Bringing together people of compatible sexual orientations and gender identities makes finding love easier, not harder. Finding love in general can be a long journey, but there's nothing about the LGBT community which hinders love more than the general population.
August 10th, 2015 1:31pm
Hmmmm, when we are hungry for love and hoping to connect with someone who can be our best friend and lover, it can get awfully discouraging. It seems like there are soooo few fish like us in the sea. This concern seems fairly universal! I have found that many people experience this frustration--both straight and LGBT, old and young. Going to clubs that focus on one's "group" can heighten the frustration, because, when people are in a noisy club, [1] it's hard to have a real conversation, [2] it can be hard to be our real selves, [3] it can feel superficial and cold, and [4] it can seem that people at clubs are just seeking an empty hook-up. So, what to do? I think that there are additional ways to meet people. For example: becoming active in volunteer groups organized to help the LGBT community, becoming involved in on-line communities that provide identification as L, G, B and T (and following guidelines for safety when meeting online acquaintances!); and joining a large group to participate in an activity you love (theatre, cycling, whatever). This last one increases the Total number of people you meet, which will statistically increase the number of LGBT people you meet! But the main thing, I think, is to be patient. Give it some time. The more you can radiate love and joy, the more you'll attract loving, happy people who are like you and want to be with you! I wish you all the best!
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 5th, 2019 9:07pm
Partly because the LGBT community is small if compared to the overall popoulation. But also because LGBT people come from different backgrounds and have different views, desires and needs, so it's not always easy to find someone whose views match yours. It may help to select the right environment to find someone to date - for example, if you're not into LGBT pubs or clubs, you can look in LGBT circles and cultural groups. Or if you use dating apps, you can try to specify as clearly as you can in your profile what it is that you look for, so you'll have a better chance to be contacted by someone who is right for you.
December 5th, 2014 7:27am
Acceptance in society is an inherent trait of humans. And in general people from LGBT community are not that expressive about showing their emotional state for the fear of loosing this acceptability within society.
December 5th, 2014 12:09pm
The LGBT movement has only progressed in the most open-minded and liberal countries, which means that only a small percentage of the world has accepted openly LGBT individuals; even then, this acceptance is often times begrudging. This LGBT individuals feeling as though their declaration of sexuality is not welcomed, and makes them reluctant to "come out" and openly join the LGBT community. Because of this, LGBT communities are often very small. The chances of finding someone compatible with yourself out of such a small pool are discouragingly slim.
December 7th, 2014 7:28pm
The LGBTQIA community is so much smaller than the straight community so most of the people in the LGBTQIA community are already taken. I know it's tough but you'll find someone!
December 27th, 2014 7:58pm
They are only slim if you think they are slim. It is hard to do but you have to put yourself out there and make it known that you want to find love in that community.
January 3rd, 2015 12:39am
I think this is usually because a lot of people who are LGBTQ+ either haven't come out yet in general or to few people and they are afraid and/or confused and trying to figure it all out. It could also be because it's a big world out there ;) don't worry love, you will find someone :)
March 19th, 2015 11:25am
The chances are mostly slim because the LGBT community itself is a small part of the population. And even though it is really growing, meaning that more people are having the courage to come out, it will still be considered small compared to the straight people out there. Out of this small minority, we have out own expectations on how the person should be to be dated. There are different factors like location, age and sex that contribute to this. Finally when we do find a few people that we are interested and may seem perfect, there arises a few other problems. For example and this is quite hilarious when you think about it, you might have a handful of people that you might be willing to date. Out of those few people, half of them might already be taken. That leaves maybe 5 people (just an estimate and an example). One person might have been a person that you have already dated and didn't work out and other two people might exes of your best friend or close friend. This is might break the unspoken 'bro code' you have established for yourself. The other two people that are left kind of limits your dating choices. Of these two, one of them might not be interested in a relationship because of a bad break up and that leaves you with one person alone. This is why ,I feel,it's so hard to find love in the LGBT community.
April 10th, 2015 10:51am
Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, our society holds a certain stigma about the LGBT community, so the ability to openly express how we feel and experience love is restricted. It's hard for individuals of this community to find someone to romantically connect with simply because there is always risk involved, even sometimes from within the community itself.
May 16th, 2015 4:00pm
Actually, sometimes it can be not so hard. Try places like local LGBT+ places, or if there aren't any try online, in a safe way. There is a whole tumblr page dedicated to it if you type it into tumblr! I wish you luck for the future in finding someone to love and I hope that my advice has been helpful in some way.
July 6th, 2015 6:10pm
The chances of finding someone to love in the LGBT community are slim because not all people have accepted us yet.
August 25th, 2015 9:58pm
I don't believe they are slim, you may not be looking in the right places. There are lgbt members everywhere.
November 8th, 2015 8:03pm
Frankly, they are not slim. Finding love is not a percentage game. You find love in the LGBT community the same way you do it for other things--dating sites, immersing yourself in activities/hobbies, etc.
February 16th, 2016 9:02pm
We can say if we look at the percentage of LGBT in the world, it would equate to a small percentage and that can be a reason why it's hard to find someone, but I think it's more of the resources we have. There are so many places, depending on where you live, that LGBT can meet. Even if we are social, we often have the obstacle of wondering if the person who we happened to bump into is part of the LGBT community. In my personal experiences, I find non-LGBT and LGBT have the same issues in dating especially in large metro areas.
October 4th, 2016 1:42pm
Because some many LGBT members feel like if they came out to a person they will get shot down so they stop trying.
October 24th, 2016 2:01pm
I think its hard to find a good relationship because a lot of people are still trying to figure out who they are, and where they are in the community, plus its hard for some folks to be out and proud so you don't realize you're walking by that cute girl that is checking you out as you check her out, and no she's not looking at your shoes. I find that a lot of people in the LGBTQA+ community have to hide who they are just to stay safe and thats a big problem.
August 3rd, 2020 1:56pm
Depending on the public reception of the LGBT community in a particular area, members of the community may find it safer to keep their identities hidden as revealing themselves can put them in danger of being ostracized from the general community of their area. One example of this being the case is in countries that adopt conservative viewpoints that are not in favor of the LGBT community. While it is safer for individuals to remain hidden, it also creates an issue if someone wants to reach out to this community for support or acceptance as that person may not be able to find anyone as a result of people keeping their identities hidden from the public.
September 22nd, 2020 1:53am
I don't necessarily know this answer but it is probably that people may be shy or embrassed at exposes themselves or confessing that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. I think no one will own up to it because they are afraid of what family members or friends may say. Not everyone is bold and some are just confused. Fear is the number one killer in our society, it really takes bold and courageous people to own up and stand for what they think or approve of. As I stated, I don't necessarily know all the answers but I pray this helped a little.