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Why do I seem to be attracted to my friends that are the same gender as me?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 06/22/2021 at 1:39pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
November 3rd, 2015 9:51pm
Do you think you may be gay ? That would explain why you are attracted to people of the same gender Either that or there may be positive qualities that make you feel your friends it may be you admire them / want to be like them If you feel you may be gay maybe this is something you need to look at exploring Feel free to contact a listener any time to talk things through
June 16th, 2015 9:55pm
I always feel more attracted to people who are the same gender to me because I feel like we can relate more. We most likely have more in common and have shared experiences in the past.
July 7th, 2015 12:24pm
You may be discovering your sexuality, something very positive and forms part of your social identity. Everyone goes through this, then one should not be afraid but feel happy to be discovering more about you!
April 11th, 2015 4:38pm
it could have nothing to do with gender; some sexualities aren't based on an attraction to gender. such as pansexuality; attraction, or romantic love toward people of any sex or gender identity. there's also demisexual, which is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. or perhaps you're bisexual and just haven't discovered it yet. i guess what i'm trying to say is, there are many things it could be, but it's all completely normal and if anything it's an opportunity to learn more about yourself and grow. (on a side note, i used a lot of labels for sexuality in this, but please never feel like you have to label yourself! these are just well known terms, but if you don't feel like any of them fit you, then that's perfectly alright too! just be you♥)
July 13th, 2015 12:57am
It could be a way of your mind experiencing different aspects of your sexualality, it all comes down to what you truly feel though. If you like the same gender, express it. Be happy with your honest self.
September 21st, 2015 9:51am
Attraction to same gender friends is normal for some people. You could be gay or bisexual or just simply curious.
May 10th, 2016 3:10am
You could be bisexual or just gay, but that does not matter just as long as u are happy with the decision you made and the partner that is with you accepts u the way you are.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
September 30th, 2019 12:57am
It depends on what you mean with "attracted". You may simply admire them a lot, or there may be something more romantical and/or physical about it. The best way to find out is to analyze your feelings and sensations, imagine yourself with them in different contexts, and see what feels good and what doesn't. In case you realize yojr orientation is different than what you thought, that's ok! Take your time to come to terms with it. You'll see it's absolutely fine to just like whoever you like!
June 30th, 2015 12:24pm
There are a number of reasons that could be possible. Do you think it's something serious or is it what they call a "girl crush"?
July 21st, 2015 11:23pm
If it's sexual/romantic attraction then you might be queer,it really depends on,but if so,welcome to the club,friend!
November 10th, 2015 2:18pm
Everyone is on a spectrum of sexuality. Some are more on the heterosexual side, some lean more towards homosexuality, some are somewhere in between the two, or not even on the spectrum. There's a lot of sexualities out there and there's nothing wrong with being attracted to the same gender. You may only be curious as well, and it's completely normal to be bi-curious. There's a difference between feeling attracted and having feelings for another. You could do some research into the LGBTQ community, talk to a listener, or maybe even talk to your friends about it.
November 30th, 2015 5:10pm
I while ago I faced a similar situation to you, I found that I had a crush on my best friend who happened to be the same gender as me. I tried to ignore the feeling but it made me resent him. Finally in opened up to him and it has only brought us closer together.
February 1st, 2016 10:46pm
It seems like you may belong to the LGBTQ+ community! You should search it up to find out more. No matter what some people may tell you, it's perfectly normal. In fact, I belong to the community myself :)
October 11th, 2016 7:09pm
Perhaps you simply just find them attractive, these feelings don't always mean you are gay, bisexual. etc. I've seen my friends all dressed up and thought 'Wow she's beautiful' but it doesn't necessarily mean you're attracted in a homosexual sense. Experiment with these feelings and see where they lead you.
October 8th, 2019 3:57am
Same gender attraction is mostly known as homosexuality (or, if you prefer, homoromantism). Being attracted to your friend can be in a platonic or romantic way, as well as other ways. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Try to understand your feelings better to figure out what you want. Do you want more than friendship? Or do you like it the way it is right now? Love is never easy, especially if you find yourself in a same-sex relationship or with a crush on your friend. I wish you the best of luck in your discovery of yourself and, please remember to take your time!
June 22nd, 2021 1:39pm
Being attracted to people of the same gender, probably means you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or any of many more sexualities. Gay means a not-female liking another male, or someone liking someone of their own gender, this includes a non-male liking a female, however that is more commonly referred to as lesbian. Bisexual means be of any gender and like males and females. Pansexual refers to someone who likes people of all genders. And polysexual refers to someone liking people of multiple genders, but not all. None of these are choices, if you are on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, then you didn't choose to be, many people think others did chose it, while they did not, I happen to be pansexual, and everyone I know is fine with it, but that is not always the case, so be careful.