why do people always want to label me/my sexuality?
Last Updated: 03/22/2021 at 3:45pm
Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP
Licensed Professional Counselor
Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance
Top Rated Answers
Society just likes to put people into groups. The only person who can label your sexuality is you. For some people, labeling makes the coming out process a little easier. But you never have to put labels on anything you don't want to.
Humans tend to label things just so they can refer to them in the correct term ! It's not always a negative 😉 as long as you know yourself and your happy things are ok !
People like labels, because it is easier to understand a black/white distinction than take into account all the shades of grey in between. It's easier to say yes/no, straight/bi/gay, male/female, or any other distinction than it is to realise that most things are a huge spectrum that everyone is on somewhere. I think people find it more comforting if they can categorise you, because that gives them a frame of reference of what to expect from you. I think this is really why we use labels, it's quick and easy and neatly sums up complexities into a nice package. I try not to worry too much what people label me as, apart from those who are close to me. Other people are just ticking boxes and not seeing the full picture.
its the way society has been programmed: categorise people by what makes them different. unfortunately, we are also told to approach different/ new things with fear or caution, as it is unknown to us. this is why people become uncomfortable with different sexualities, genders, and gender role subversion. it isnt your fault, it is just a product of the normalised heterosexuality, pink for girls, blue for boys, way of thinking. also, talking from another perspective (people labelling you based off of number of partners for example) it is just another social construct that is outdated. it is common for women to be degraded the more partners they have, and for men to be praised as their number increases. this may be to do with our natural 'urge' to reproduce, and it is common for males of a species to produce as many offspring as possible. that aside, it is still unfair to deem women 'unclean' or even doom them to never marry etc for something that makes men more desirable/alpha.
Some people feel uncomfortable by the undetermined. They want to put labels on others so they might have a better understanding of you, however, in most cases, it does the opposite. If they are labeling you as something demeaning, they are probably going through their own issues, and trying to resolve them by putting others down to make themselves feel better. Needless to say, that won't work. Others have no control on who you are, so just know that you are the one in charge of who you make yourself out to be, and no one can change that.
Some people don't have an open mind and are not willing to accept something that is different to what they believe in or what they know. People like to label because they might not be comfortable with themselves or with something different.
Using labels make it easier for our brains to make sense of the world around us. Our brains automatically categorize everything we see: As a child, you learn that the small, furry thing with pointed ears and a long tail is a cat. Now that you know its a cat, the rest of your life is simpler because you can identify that animal, and all others like it, as a cat. All cats have things in common, like how they prefer to be treated, what they eat, and how they show emotion, so now you know how to treat all animals that look like that cat. Our brains have the same need to label other people. At a base level, our evolutionary brains need to know who is a threat and who isn't. Beyond that, we need to know if they are like us or unlike us. Are they friendly? How does this person want to be treated? What topics of conversation will interest them? It can be annoying when people try to label you something that you feel is incorrect. Or maybe you feel like your personal life is not something you want to share, and that's all right. Just try to remember that most people aren't trying to hurt you by labeling you. Their brains are just trying to understand what you're like and what to expect from you. We have a need to label people as well.
Labeling people's sexuality comforts people because our society is built upon definite answers. We want to know how things work, what things are, and understand them concretely - that's why science and religion are such powerful things for people to grasp on to. When people want to label a sexuality, it's because of this notion that there must be some concrete explanation for the ways we act, although sexuality in itself cannot be explained and is often time too fluid to pinpoint.
People want a label because it makes it easier for them to understand someone's experience that's different than theirs. A label lets them put you in a box, and therefore lets them place their understanding of that label on you.
People want label you because since the begining they have been taught to label people. In my opinion that's what sociaty teaches to people whitout we even notice that. That's how we are raised , it's how human beings are but it's up to every single one of us to change.
Because it presents people with the unknown which we are evolutionarily designed to be wary of. People like labels because they automatically know how to relate to someone who is bi, gay, lesbian, straight based on their perceptions of people in these boxes, whether that perception is positive or negative. When the label is not there you are more ambiguous to them which makes some people uncomfortable because it forces them outside their comfort zone.
People like to use labels. People like to put things and people into boxes that they can easily understand and define. Just remember that no one can truly label you but yourself.
People tend to feel more comfortable with something they can out a word to. If it makes you uncomfortable with trying to box yourself it, you can always use the word queer just so they have one in reference to you. It essentially means "not straight but also not specifying my sexuality at the moment" and it's what I usually use.
Usually because it's easier for them to understand. People feel the need to put everything in categories, based on different things.
I think people find it easier to process neatly defined concepts. However, people are not concepts. Your sexuality is yours alone to label or not. So, be polite but forthcoming about your identity and make sure people know how you choose to be seen.
Because some people don’t want to identify you by the wrong orientation. I understand having labels can be frustrating, but people want to see you for how you are.
When people give something a label it's usually to help them explain or understand whatever is there giving the label. Some people cannot comprehend that others feel outside of a specific box.
People believe that labels make things easier to understand, and scientifically they are right. It is easier to label someone and then make assumptions based on that label. For example, we can label someone as a student and we now see know based on that label that they study, go to school, mostly are unemployed, etc. We do the same thing for sexuality. By labeling it, other people have an easier time understanding and making assumptions about you based on that label. Is it right though is an entirely different question. Life isn't about putting people into boxes to make ourselves more comfortable.
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