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Why do people feel the liberty to ask personal questions about my sexual life when I "come out" or let them know my sexual orientation?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 01/20/2020 at 4:40pm
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Top Rated Answers
January 11th, 2015 9:22pm
People are generally inquisitive, they're just most likely intrigued, however you shouldn't feel pressured to answer any questions you don't feel comfortable asking.
December 28th, 2015 6:43pm
The nice answer is to say, "They are just curious" but my honest answer is that it's pretty rude, it is an example of entitlement and a show that they are uneducated and have decided to put it on you to educate them. Furthermore it is a way of highlighting that they perceive you as "other". You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to and it's ok to reinforce your if this makes you uncomfortable, it is understandable! If you have the patience to educate them, that's ok too. :)
September 14th, 2015 1:44pm
It often seems rude for the person to do this, but if they don't have a common sexual orientation, people get curious and want to know more from a real-life person.
January 19th, 2016 4:07pm
People are curious and may be attempting to understand you by asking these questions. Answer only the ones you feel comfortable answering and don't forget to remind them that being LGBTQ is not all about sex and shouldn't be discussed only in those terms. It's about affection, love, and companionship - just like heterosexual relationships are.
May 27th, 2015 1:52pm
Individuals are curious and many times don't seem to think through what exactly it is they are asking. If someone asks you a question about your sexuality you don't have to answer them. They may want to learn about different genders and orientations, but you aren't obligated to be the one to teach them.
June 7th, 2015 7:56pm
Because people are curious about things they didnt experienced by themself, therefore they try to get to know something about it from people who are "into this"
December 29th, 2015 3:16am
Most persons just want to know what the life of a gay/bi or tans is most are curious and may have a liking towards it or just want to have a knowledge
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 12th, 2019 2:46pm
Some people just don't understand how personal it is, and they think that just because you told them about your orientation you're ok with telling them anything. Someone, because of prejudice, believes that people of certain orientation are overly focused on sex and so more ready to talk about it. When it happens, you can just tell them it's something personal, and you simply told them about your orientation because you wanted them to know that part of you, but your sexual life is yours alone.
April 2nd, 2015 8:54pm
I hear what you are saying, I am not sure why people feel that they can ask what they want just because you have disclosed to them your sexual orientation? I am wondering how it is that you respond when these questions are asked
April 8th, 2015 12:19pm
I think that people are curious because either they don't understand and would like to or they are questioning their own sexual orientation. I find it helpful to create and maintain healthy boundaries in a situation such as this. For example, if someone asks me a question I am uncomfortable answering, I might say something like this... "Dear Person, I understand that you are curious about my sexual orientation. However, I do not feel comfortable sharing with you detailed information about my sexual life."
June 17th, 2015 4:09pm
They may be curious because they did not think that, that was your orientaion. They wish to know more about you or if there is more they don't know about you.
January 18th, 2016 9:35pm
In personal experience, when I came out to my parents they kept asking about my sexual life like something has change. Something did change I came out and finally became myself. Somehow, my parents and friends thought changed completely as a person. Before I came out, I was really anti social, not many friends and my sexual life was nothing. After I came out, my family though my sex life was there business but really it wasn't.
February 23rd, 2016 2:48pm
That's a great question. Sexual topics are tricky for most people and we're often not taught how to broach them. So, people tend to keep quiet. When you begin a conversation about sexuality, people will sometimes forget the normal limits and rules of conversation because the feel nervous and confused about the topic of sexuality all together. With these people, it's important to have patience and remember that they are learning, too. Politely make your boundaries known and don't let anyone push you into telling more than you feel comfortable sharing.
February 29th, 2016 1:21am
because all human have freedom to ask questions... moreover its part of their personality, and it means also they want a connection (good or bad) with u true that questions. It fulfills their curiosity desires...that's how humanity is :) but we are also have the freedom to stay quiet about it right?
March 15th, 2016 11:32pm
People are fascinated and confused by people who are different. When they meet someone is different, they would like to know how they live their life. Some of their questions are, of course, very intrusive and personal. My recommendation for these situations is to politely decline to disclose.
March 22nd, 2016 1:40am
Although people's questions can be rude and uncomfortable, the "liberty" they feel often stems from curiosity. People want to know, and don't know that the questions they are asking are inappropriate. This isn't always the case; but remember that you always have the right to call someone out on an inappropriate question and let them know that you're not comfortable answering what they're asking.
March 29th, 2016 11:32am
People are generally inquisitive, they're just most likely intrigued, however you shouldn't feel pressured to answer any questions you don't feel comfortable asking.
September 6th, 2016 3:04am
I have often wondered the same thing, generally people are just insensitive and curious. The best thing is to educate them and let them know it's rude to ask. If you don't go around asking why they are straight they shouldn't do the same
November 27th, 2017 8:41pm
It is human nature to bed curious or even hostile about things one has yet to experience within themselves. I often find myself questioning people about things i don't understand.
February 5th, 2018 7:40pm
Most the time, people are just being curious. They don't mean to overstep, but end up doing so. It's natural human instinct to wonder.
February 26th, 2018 5:06am
They lose their filter a little bit. They become curious; you don't have the same experiences as them (necessarily), so they want to know the differences and similarities. It's a wee bit rude in most contexts, but usually it's curiosity mixed with loss of filter. Usually people aren't intending to be rude when they ask, nor do they aim to make you uncomfortable most of the time. Some do, but most just don't know how to filter some things out.
January 20th, 2020 4:40pm
We live in an incredibly heteronormative society and people always feel the need to know everything about everyone. If someone isn't "straight" it's kinda seen as a big thing as the majority of the world is. Some people might just want to better understand someone's sexual orientation by asking questions. Generally, I've found that a lot of people want to know a persons sexual orientation to better judge what kind of person they are or kind of fit them into some type of queer stereotypes. Being queer isn't seen as being normal because of the amount of straight people. Many people are discriminatory towards queer people due to religious views or upbringing and so generally people want to know that kind of stuff.