How do I stop feeling so isolated?
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 6:34am
Collin McShirley, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.
Top Rated Answers
Remember that feeling separate from others is the direct result of focusing on how others are different from us. If this sort of thinking continues, eventually, we will find ourselves standing alone against the entire world. You have to become curious about others so you will never be at a loss for words or feel unable to connect with them again. Silence only has to be awkward if you let it so you have to be brave and put a bit of yourself out there. That’s really at the root of building a connection with someone else—getting to know them as more than just a collection of surface level facts. Once you start to learn more about their feelings and opinions on things, you can start to develop a real bond and not feel isolated anymore.
Isolation is often caused by our own fear of being alone. A desire to be seeked by someone we feel important to us is what causes us to lay in wait and hope for the attention. Do not forget that the other person might just aswell be feeling the same way. Try to connect with them. Try.
When I was at my loneliest I learned to take every opportunity I was given. The friendliest people I knew became the people I surrounded myself with. I learned through them how to be myself and the more I became integrated with them was less lonely and troubled I became. It took me a while to learn that the only way to work my way out of isolation was to fight it head on and force myself to socialize. It may sound uncomfortable but it gets much easier!
Refer the 7 cups guides on Lonliness, Anxiety and Managing Emotions to learn some of the nice strategies of dealing with feelings of isolation.
The first step is taking away the barriers that stop you from feeling like you can reach out. For me, hygiene is one of the hardest things when I'm in a spiral, and when I feel gross I become way too afraid to talk to people. So first step for me is to shower. Then I need to reach out in some way. Generally the lower I am, the harder it is in person, and that is perfectly ok. So I go online. Either I talk on here or I find someone on facebook. I ask if it's ok for me to come around and talk. Or I invite some people to a group chat and ask if anyone wants to go out for coffee and shopping the next day. Whatever I feel like I'm up to at my present state. Planning this stuff in advance I find helps me a lot because I find social contact very draining even though I know it's necessary for health. So I will specifically plan both the time to reach out AND the event itself. Vague future plans are easy to make, but you have to force yourself to be concrete. I will do THIS at THIS time on THIS day. You are mighty, you can do this.
Try to get involved in a community that will boost your self esteem and surround yourself with people you know won't judge you and who you are.
I have often felt isolated. Sometimes I feel lonely but don't want to interact with anyone. I find it helps to go to a coffee shop or other public place, and try to engage at least one person, even if it's just with a smile. Recently, I joined a gym and just being around other people has helped me feel less isolated.
Why not try to make a little more effort to see people; family, friends, anyone really. The more you see these people the better you will feel
One of the very best way to feel less isolated is to volunteer. When you give to others you also give to your soul.
Put yourself out there. I know this sounds hard and quite impossible( As someone who's constantly felt isolated and like I didn't matter to people, I understand). But sometimes to stop feeling isolated, it's you that has to be the one to seek other's company or their friendship.
Put yourself out there, fight the belittling or self-criticising voice in your head and reach out!
Do something you wouldn't normally do with other people. Hang out with that one girl who you have never talked to. Call one of your family members that you don't talk to and see if you guys could have a sleepover.
Try to find people who share same interests/opinions/activities than you! Approach gently and start a conversation about those topics in common
The best way to stop feeling so isolated is to surround yourself with positive people! Wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say to yourself "I am an amazing, loved, kind, and worthy person. Today will be the best day ever!" :) xx
It can be hard to stop feeling isolated. Personally, I have to somehow shut off the part of my brain telling me that and just jump in. Hanging out with small groups of people can help, too.
By doing things that are positive and to be around supportive people who care and want the best for you and who is willing to help you and will understand you
Usually I write, at least I can pretend I'm not alone. But the best to stop feeling isolated for me is just speak to someone. Or just simply going out for some fresh air
In our times a lot of people have the feeling of being isolated. They feel isolated when they are together with friends and they feel that way when they are alone at home. Our current life style doesn't leave us much time to cultivate social ties, which are so important for our emotional and physical well being. Therefore we feel isolated and because we feel isolated we stop cultivating our friendships and our relationships with our family members. A lot of times it is good to start by creating the feeling of being connected, simply because we are and try to schedule meetings with friends or attend to activities like sports or painting, which leave enough room for a conversation...
Invest your time in hobbies, something that makes you feel like you have a purpose. It could be reading, drawing, dancing, or just anything that makes you happy.
I know about the bottomless pit of solitude and to escape it I give myself little responsibilities like cleaning my room or giving a compliment to a person. Slowly do more and maybe even say hi to someone or become friends with someone.
At times we feel isolated because we are isolated, try to get involved in others lives, you might not necessarily enjoy what they are doing, but you will be taking an action towards it, and the more you get involved with others the more they will want you around and thus the more they will get involved with you, hence no more isolation ;)
Isolation is not necessarily caused by being physically isolated. So the first step should be identifying what is causing that feeling. Is it being physically removed from social circles? Are you struggling to feel accepted by people around you? Or is it an internal struggle. Once you identify that, you can focus on building a strategy to cope. If you are physically isolated, consider finding a way to be closer to people. If you are isolated because the people around you are not welcoming, considering finding a new group or environment to expose yourself too. If it is an internal predicament such as social anxiety or the effects of a mental illness, consider reaching out to a support group who can help you learn to cope with such things.
Push your limits. Be outgoing when all you want is to be by yourself. Understand that if someone else doesn't like it, oh well. You deserve to be happy being yourself. They don't deserve you in their life if they want to push you back in to the hole you tried so hard to climb out of.
Isolation can feel really challenging but it can also motivate us to seek further human contact. This could be by taking up a new hobby or by joining a new class or group.
I would say make or find connections to people or to someone that you can keep hold of in most any situation, a failsafe if you will. Keep a connection to some outside place, if possible. Either through another person, through a computer or phone, or something. Coming from isolated feelings myself, That is how I escaped them. And how I escape them to this day.
Socialise. I understand that the word is easier to say than to actually do it. Start with something you enjoy doing and seeing if there are groups or clubs etc, If ever you feel isolated come on here and talk to us :)
It is a hard step, but I think going online and finding a community that you are interested in is the best first steps. You already have something in common with the online group and it can make it easier to talk to people.
Consider all of the things that cause that feeling in you. Consider the places you most feel that way, the people you most feel that way around. Is there something youc an do to change any of these things? Is there something you can do to introduce new options into your world, like new places, new healthy risks, or new hobbies that might both distract you and attract like-minded people? Be crative! Remember, you cannot stop a feeling. You can only maybe stop what is causing the feeling, perhaps, or try to change something about your environment when this feeling arises or as a preventative measure.
The best way to stop feeling isolated is to go out and partake in things you enjoy. Such as joining a club, a music group, going to sporting events. When you surround yourself with people who have the same interests as you, you will more likely make connections with them and create relationships!
Take a walk at a park, Join a book club. You can volunteer at your local animal shelter.Find a hobby that interests you.
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