I feel like isolating myself, but deep inside I am very lonely. What do I do?

Try to express how you feel on the online community or in person, try to keep your connections. Here on 7 cups we can help you achieve all your goals as well. Try recording a journal as that may give you your answers, as well as something to reflect upon, keep trying to do your best and cope it the best you can. Pen and paper should be a good fix, it can take you anywhere. On that note reading is good as well as you can do it anywhere and be connected to the authors. Keep up the good work

I am sorry to hear that you feel that way :( I know that it can be very difficult to make friends, and that sometimes, although you may be feeling lonely, you feel like isolating yourself, so you cannot be judged or hurt by other people. It can be hard to break the habit of isolating yourself, as in a way it is a defence. Just know that opening up to me now is already a huge step and I am proud of you for that

Well, the only person that would really know what to do is yourself, but i have felt exactly as you do, and it was very hard for me to find a solution. What's the reason you want to isolate yourself?, for me, i found that without knowing the reason I wouldnt be able to hang out with anyone else, no matter how lonely I would feel. As a listener on 7 cups , ive learned that i have to take care of myself before i take care others. You need to first find what is making you want to isolate yourself before you surround yourself with others, because sometimes we can be surrounded by so many people and still be lonely. I have faith, that like me, youll find how to feel safe again arounf people. For now, it may be alright to isolate yourself until you feel your truly ready to be with others. You wont be lonely forever, and youve always got a friend in me if you ever need help. Goodluck ;)

I experience the same thing! I think it's easy for me to drive people away and stick by myself because that's what feels safe to me. That means that I can't be hurt by other people and that I don't have to be pressured to act a certain way around other people. Unfortunately, this means that I don't really have any close friends that I can talk to and hang out with, making me feel lonely. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to put yourself out there. Talk to people even though it's uncomfortable and it will slowly get easier. I know it's really really scary and hard, but there are so many listeners here that can hear you out and support you if you ever need it!

I completely understand how you feel. Its hard wanting to isolate yourself but feel really sad and alone. if you feel like you can't open up to anyone or feel uncomfortable, maybe start writing down how you feel in a notebook so you can get it all out. Or if you have someone in your life that you trust and know who loves you, maybe start by mentioning how you have been feeling to them and possibly they can help you through it. And there is no shame in asking for help if you need it, everyone needs help once in a while, its a normal thing. Also don't try to push yourself, go at the right and comfortable speed for you.

we isolates ourselves because we are unable to find people to whom we connect to, with whom we don't get judged when we share ourselves, who are trustworthy. That's why someone isolates themselves and keeps their feelings to themselves. Since, we can't connect we feel lonely inside and unable to express ourselves. For example you will feel more homely with your loved ones, your parents. you will not feel lonely, when you are with them. So you need to find someone whose thoughts reverberate with that of yours. You can spend time with yourself doing the things which makes you happy, doing the things which helps you express like writing, some creative work etc.

I don't think it's reasonable to tell you to just "get out there". You're obviously isolating yourself for a reason and it is most likely a good one. You have to find out what that reason is though and you also have to find out whether isolating yourself makes you feel better than trying to be around people. If you would rather be isolated than actually work towards not being lonely, that is always your choice. If you don't want to be lonely, you have to find out why you seek to isolate yourself. It could be one big thing that happened in your past, a pattern of things that happened in your past, it varies from person to person. Think about what is causing you to feel this way.

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I have been there and I can tell that its difficult. No matter what people say or tell you to deal with it in a particular way, it won't work until you want it to. Until and unless you are ready to move forward every method will be useless. Speaking from personal experiences, writing a diary as cheesy as it sounds, it helps. For me though, reading books, novels really, helped a LOT. Its a good way to escape reality for a few moments but like I said nothing would work until you really try. You should try and find something that burns a deep desire in you to achieve it. Believe me, if you really want to get rid of this feeling, that's the starting point...

It can seem counter intuitive to isolate oneself when feeling lonely, but I have found myself doing the exact thing. I was confused about why I was isolating myself when I really wanted to be around others. At first, it seemed like being alone would be easiest, to not inconvenience others or ask for help. But, as soon as I talked to a friend, I realized that it was incredibly helpful to talk to someone else about the loneliness I was feeling. I would think about what makes you feel better when you have been lonely before, and if talking to others has been helpful. Simply talking to someone about my feelings helped me feel less lonely. Reaching out for help is definitely difficult, but isolating when feeling lonely really helps amplify the feeling of loneliness.

My personal experience would be that when that feeling of loneliness is actually making me feel like not doing something social, I usually benefit from socializing anyway. My tip would be to start small, as small as you want, but to start: it can be to text someone something nice to smile at a stranger today (busdriver/cashier/lady with dog), to call a close one or if you dont have close ones a semi-close-one or if you dont have that, to start looking for groups you could join (I know groupsituations can be uncomfortable but sometimes exposure is the best medicine I find, as I said you can start as "small" as you like - the "small" things matter more than a lot of people think! )

I think you're isolating yourself because you feel very lonely in the deep inside. Try talking to your family or friends about this. Once you get that feeling of belonging and love, you might abandon the idea of isolating yourself. One of the top human needs is belonging and love, so I think talking to people who really knows you well would help. You can also talk to people who have similar mind with you, because they know what you're feeling. You can also just hop online and starts to talk with a 7cups listener, and talk about your mind.

I have felt this and it is not easy. I think isolating yourself is good once in a while, to not have a care in the world, and be happy, but sometimes, we need to take a break from life. And isolating yourself is a good way to, like have a take care of your mental health day. But if you're deep down lonely, I think its great to find new friends online, of course, isolating yourselves is not for everyone, its only for some, but when you do, don't keep isolating yourself from the world, because as humans we need social interaction everyday at least.

I'm sorry to hear about your loneliness. I can relate to wanting to isolate but feeling lonely at the same time. It's definitely a conflict and something many people have felt and struggled with, particularly if you are introverted. I think it comes down to what you would like to change. If you want to be less lonely, ultimately you will have to take action to change that. You can simply start with baby steps or even stay with baby steps, meaning, you can start small like talking to people online, then you can branch out to video calls with groups or events you're interested in, and eventually move beyond that to in-person social activities.

It seems that you are wrestling with two opposing feelings. When we have conflicting desires, it is good to slow down and take stock of our emotions before making a decision, especially one as drastic as self-isolation. It is completely okay and often healthy to take time to be alone with and listen to your own thoughts, but it can become harmful to self-isolate for extended periods of time out of fear of social interaction or becoming a burden to other people. It may be helpful to take some additional time to work through these conflicting emotions, whether through your preferred methods of self-expression (journaling, art, etc.) or by talking with another person, especially another listener with 7 Cups. Your feelings are entirely valid and you deserve to be able to vent to people you trust.

I would try and make sure that you have balance between isolated and alone time vs social time with friends and family. Try and get out every day and spend time with friends and family and be social so that you do no isolate yourself too much. However, also make time for yourself in the day, such as an hour of self time every day. You can use this self time to read, relax, get exercise, watch netflix, journal, nap, etc. This way you can create more of a balance and still have your self isolation time, but be able to get out and be social so you are not lonely.

I have an idea! Based on my personal experience, I would get this feeling many times as well. I suggest telling your friends and family you are taking time to meditate. Then, actually listen to calming soothing sounds for as long as you like. There are also many guided meditations available online. Meditation can help in so many ways. It gives you time to yourself, clarity, time to focus on breathing, and overall finding inner peace. I highly recommend practicing this. Another suggestion is to have a day or two to yourself watching movies, focusing on yourself and whatever you want to do. Either one should help you fulfil that desire to be to yourself and then coming back to speaking with others with more clarity and feeling good about yourself.

We may feel like isolating when you feel vulnerable, cumbersome or ashamed, or tired. Finding someone who you can feel safe with, just to spend some quiet time together, or for the person just to listen, nod, and reassure you, can be comforting, an equilibrium between connection, in the form of listening, and isolation (in the form of not having to hear anything if you don't want to). Often loneliness doesn't come from being alone, but from our thoughts. Thoughts of being different, of not being wanted, if abandonment, of not belonging, of being a fraud, or otherwise unappetizing or undesirable.

it’s okay. sometimes we feel the need to eliminate everyone because their presence still makes us feel just as lonely. reaching out to your friends and family to let them know how you’re feeling is one solution. communicating about a problem you’re facing with the people that care about you ALWAYS helps. if that isn’t possible, you can always find new friends in this virtual generation. you can also take time from social life and focus yourself towards a challenge, activity or a hobby and put your energy on it. moreover, you can distract yourself with movies and tv shows.

I can really hear that you have this need to withdraw from forming and connections with other people but internally you feel you need people to connect with. You might want to ask yourself what loneliness means for you. Is it about lacking relationships or having none or is it about people not holding you in as high regard as you hold them? Ask yourself if you are feeling left out in anyway in your friendships, family relations or work relations. Another interesting question to ask yourself can be what is triggering yourself to what to isolate? People can be disinclined to interact with others because they have been bullied in the past or it may have something to do with upbringing. What people who have this sense of loneliness tend to turn to working on becoming content with oneself. Getting to know yourself through developing hobbies and interests can give you the satisfaction. Through this you can make discoveries about yourself, what you like and what you dislike. Your thoughts and feelings can be expressed through other reflective ways such as journal writing or writing in a diary. Mindfulness is another medium teaching breathing techniques as well as inner acceptance of the essence of you. Ask yourself your thoughts about self-care and the people you associate with and what they mean for your own mental health. Thing of those things or people you appreciate and are grateful for in your life. Recognition of what makes you tick and what satisfies you can be unraveled in ways in which you do not know. This feeling of loneliness can come in different shapes and forms and there are different ways to overcome this. Your welcome to reach out to one of our listeners for further support or one of our therapists, some of which who have identified with feeling lonely. Thank you so much for reaching out and I hope you get the support you need.

This is a totally normal and human thought! Sometimes it is nice to take time for yourself and can actually be apart of self care. If you feel that is not the reason why you are isolating and do not want to be around people, start slow. Spend time with people that you love and try to do activities you like as well. If big group settings overwhelm you spend some time with family or with a friend. It can also help to exercise and get some time outside to clear your head. You know yourself the best so start doing the things that make you happiest as well.

Sometimes being your friend can help. If your internal world is at peace your outer world will follow. While we can't control what others do, we can control ourselves. Self-love and acceptance is the key to most internal issues. Although it's really hard, maybe reach out to someone you really trust and explain to them how you're feeling? I know it's really hard to feel like this but, there are people that genuinely love and accept you, in happiness and sorrow. If it makes you feel better the 7cups community cares about. It might also be a good idea to think, how would I respond to a friend if they came to me with this issue? What is stopping you from giving yourself that advice? After all, you know yourself best. I think asking this inquisitive questions and journaling and having someone to just listen,would benefit you greatly even if it feel weird at first

Developing self awareness helps navigate and understand what to do. How isolation affects you depends on your personal relationship with your own self and on the fact or trigger that caused the isolation. Sometimes isolation leads to self reflection and discovery, fostering productivity, creativity and individual progress. In many times it can also magnify feelings of frustration self doubt self destructive thought patterns, putting oneself in an endless viscous circle. To connect with others, you may use what helps you connect with yourself. Personal hobbies and interests groups or communities where this is shared and discussed help develop sense of belonging and boost self-confidence. It naturally puts one in a supportive environment that promotes individual growth.

Although I can not give you direct advice on what to do as that’s not what my job is you can talk to me and we can try to look into why you feel this way. Everyone feels lonely sometimes and how you feel is valid. Do you feel like this all the time or does something trigger you feeling this way? If we look into that maybe we could find a cause in your life that creates the feeling that you have to isolate yourself and try to find a way that you can avoid that trigger. Does that sound like something you are comfortable discussing?

I'm so sorry. I've felt that way so often. It's hard for me to express myself easily or trust others, so I wind up being silent in social situations or going on autopilot in conversations. To me, it feels like I've turned invisible to others and become a ghost or like there's a wall of glass between me and everyone else. What's helped me is remembering the times I have felt connected and not alone. What helps you feel connected and when have you not felt alone? Maybe you can start there to figure out what you can do next.

You reach out for help. You try not to isolate yourself because this can do more harm than good. Being lonely isn't a disease, it happens sometimes. Don't worry and tell your close ones about your feelings! It's important to walk daily, take some fresh air for the mind to function properly. It's important to do everything you can to get out of your comfort zone. I know it's hard, but you can manage it. If you don't have someone to support you, try making new friends, meeting new people. I met a lot of my friends at the gym for example.

I know exactly how that feels. Loneliness is something that's been with me my entire life and I always end up pushing people away and isolating myself even more, even though I know it's a trap. You have to force yourself out of that comfort zone of isolation and self-pity of "why no one truly likes me?". As uncomfortable as it is at first I usually send a message to a friend I haven't talked to in a while, just a "hey, how's it going?" if I feel like talking to them. Or write my loneliness out on a blog and share it to trusted people on facebook, hoping someone will notice and reach out - it's like broadcasting a call for help. Another option is signing up for some sort of social activity - signing up is the key here, because it feels like you commit to it, someone will expect you, and hold accountable for showing up to some extent. I never believe it will work, I expect to feel all alone among all those new people I'll meet, yet another situation where I don't belong, but the actual outcome is nearly as bad. Meeting new people and chatting about trivial things takes you mind off of that feeling of loneliness, at least temporarily. I know how insanely hard it is sometimes to resist that urge to isolate, but be aware of it, be aware that it's a trap, and search ways how to walk around it and not succumb :)

Start to open yourself to others, tell the truth about your feeling to yourself, and don't hide anything. The way to not feel lonely inside is to connect with others and build relationship. When the way we life is wrong. We can feel lonely in the rest of our life. Don't to hard on yourself in every way, give yourself time to take a breath from the world. Do the good things, you can also to do meditation to help. When you feel isolating yourself, just do meditation, something good, or something that can make you not feel alone in this world.

This is very relatable, that uncertainty of what you want. You like to be alone but when you are, you feel lonely. When you're around people, you're constantly thinking about when you can get home, curl up and read, or whatever hobby you enjoy. It can be very frustrating to deal with as the person who feels these things since you may feel like even you don't understand yourself. Try getting advice from a therapist, even a trusted family member or close friend. An important realization that you'll need to make either way is, there's a difference between wanting to be alone and being lonely. You can enjoy a calm and quiet atmosphere which you can only really get if you're alone. But you don't like the hole or emptiness you might feel that comes from loneliness.

Loneliness is the pain when we are not participating in any kind of social behavior that is responsible for our civilization.Loneliness has a cure, but it is not always easy. It really doesn’t matter whom you interact with. Just find somebody; almost anyone will do. Some people find pets sufficient. I suspect loneliness is often a result of the fact that you don’t like the people you know. You might think that loneliness is preferable. The solution is to find someone new. If you are shy, that isn’t always easy. It doesn’t have to be someone you like; it just has to be somebody.