How can I adequately express my emotion without shaming those I'm expressing them to?
Last Updated: 08/17/2021 at 3:13pm
Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.
Top Rated Answers
It always important in those cases to never make it personal. Never call them out, and if they are especially sensitive, it's always best to try and express yourself at the right time. When you do decide to express your emotions, make your statements in a general sense, or better yet in the form of a story.
It's important to distinguish balance here: we are all entitled to express our emotions, but never at the expense of somebody else's. Be respectful and cautious; we never know what someone else is experiencing. It's best to use "I" statements so as to refrain from things sounding accusatory or aggressive.
Among the key things to monitor is the sort of words we use to express ourselves. Things get dicey when we're angry or at our tolerance point of frustration. Some words are descriptive, which is a good thing, while other words might be insulting or provocative, which is not so good. The other thing to keep in mind is to focus on the feeling, not on the person. Of course, many times these feelings occur due to our encounter with other people. But, can't change other people. We can only learn to understand our feelings and how to cope with them. Emotions are necessities, but that's not to say that have to rule us. They can be tools to guide us to be better people, but only as long as we keep them in perspective. Talking things out with others can help us attain proper perspective.
This honestly depends on the person you are expressing yourself to. Always preface with the fact that you want to have a safe talk, one without judgement, and let them know that you need to speak to them openly and honestly.
Take the time to understand your own emotions first. When you fully understand the emotions that you are feeling, you can communicate more effectively. Make sure to not use words that will be hurtful or harming to the person you are expressing emotions to. :)
Shame is a harsh word to use; those that are listening should be there for you, to acknowledge and understand your perspective and point of view, they should not be there to judge you, or hold grudges, or hold any kind of negatives against you; its important to express feelings and emotions, to come clean, to vent, to let things out, in an effort to find relief, to heal, and to move forward. Be confident, considerate, patient with those you are expressing such feelings to, and do your best; be you, dont be afraid; use your intelligence to the utmost degree.
Be subtle, be quiet when you express your emotions. Do it in a private place first. Choose very well whit who you are.
Careful consideration and a whole lot of empathy. I think you already know its a 50/50 thing...so...
Try using a positive language and speak assertively. Talk to others the way you would like to talk to.
Realize and accept the fact how being honest about your feelings is being aware of the truth who you really are. People loves people who are brave enough to show who they are. Try practice that with people who you know that will not hurt you and than start doing with strangers. At the end implement same in front of your enemies.
One possible way to express how you're feeling honestly without trying to shame the other person is to use "I" statements as opposed to "You" statements. What this means is that you explain how certain things affected you in the first person sense. Some examples of "I" statements include: - "I was hurt when (describe incident) happened." - "I felt angry when (insert explanation)." I can't guarantee that it will always work, but when you state things in the first person like that, it's hard for the other person to disqualify or invalidate your own reality and experience. If you start by saying things like "You made me feel this way," there's a good chance that it'll shut them to the conversation because they'll already be on the defensive mode. And again, since I don't know everything about your exact situation, I also don't know how the people in your life generally take things. But I do hope for the best as you try to honestly share your emotions with the people around you.
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