How can I stop being a compulsive liar?

104 Answers
Last Updated: 07/24/2019 at 6:25am
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Top Rated Answers
PG
November 22nd, 2014 3:33pm
1] Be true to yourself.[2] For the sake of your reputation,stop lying! [3] Try to analyze ,all that you said and the adverse effects on others.
Erynn
January 3rd, 2015 7:32pm
It will take time, anything that's been an ongoing behavior takes time. And you will probably slip up a lot on your way to permanently changing your behavior. It can help to start small. Are there specific people, places, or topics you could more easily start being more honest about? It can also help to examine why you feel the urge to lie. How does lying benefit you? If you've been lying for a long time, it's likely that telling lies benefits you somehow. If you can find how it benefits you, you may be able to find alternative ways to get those benefits. It can also help to examine how lying has hurt you and/or your relationships. How might it help to stop lying? Online, or your local library, probably has some useful resources for individuals, friends, or therapists working with people who compulsively lie. These resources can all help you help yourself by allowing you to better understand why you lie, and how others have learned to stop. Best of luck!
Anonymous
November 14th, 2014 2:46pm
I think before you lie the next time, ask yourself "why am I lying?" "what am I scared of?" and basically dig deeper and try to resolve any issues you may be facing with the truth.
Anonymous
March 11th, 2015 11:52pm
start accepting yourself for who you are, stop trying to mask and cover up who you truly are and let people accept you for YOU that way you wont need to lie
Spirited1
November 20th, 2014 11:44pm
You have taken a decision to stop an aspect of your behaviour that concerns you. Consider what it will feel like to be free of lies? How will it feel to live in accordance with your values? Describe or picture the YOU you wish to be. Try setting some small goals for what you want to achieve. If stopping at once is hard, perhaps you could reward yourself for small achievements. A day with no lies, for example. Or a particular event where your lies are limited or contained to particular subjects. Reflect on situations that drive you to this compulsive behaviour. Where are you? Who are you with? What else is going on? How do you feel? Physically and mentally? What thoughts go through your mind before you lie? And during? How is the lie formed? What, in the moment, is your motivation for it? What would be a better way to achieve your goal without lying? By examining the situations and feelings that trigger your lies, you may come to understand yourself better. You may find, for example, that you lie when you are anxious, or under pressure, or feeing threatened in some way. Wanting to impress can be an example of all of the above. Visualise how you want to be in such situations. Imagine a positive outcome free of lies. Think of some coping strategies that you can employ if a situation or person triggers the compulsion to lie. Perhaps a change of subject or scene? Perhaps a moment out, and some deep breathing and visualisation that helps you get back to natural state of balance. Consider engaging a trusted friend, who knows you well, to monitor your lies in social situations. Agree with him or her what their role will be. Perhaps he or she can interrupt you with a codeword or phrase when you are lying. Perhaps they can reflect with you afterwards on what happened and why. By stating your intention to another person, you may find you become more committed to following through on your ambition to stop lying. Ultimately, don't be too hard on yourself. I cannot speak for every person on the planet, but I would wager a bet that each of us has told a lie at some point in our lives. It is part of the human nature. Lies can be a source of creativity, of imagination, of new possibilities, of visualising a better future. Lies might not always be bad. What is important is that you act in accordance with your values, and that you feel happy and in control of your behaviour, and that you treat others with care and responsibly. Good luck :)
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2017 8:55am
You stop being a compulsive liar by having the courage to do something you've never managed to do before be honest tell the truth about every and anything you have ever lied about, it might be hard and it might take some time but you can do it, you will feel so much better once you tell the truth it'll be as if a weight was lifted.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2014 2:36am
Think about the consequences of your lie. How will they hurt you? Also, think about the people you could be hurting with your lie.
Yunowho
November 20th, 2014 4:32pm
Ask yourself why you lie, and what you hope to gain from it, and what gain you'd get from not lying, the answer follows after that
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2014 11:41am
First and foremost, it is imperative that you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and can be honest with.If you have spent the majority of your life telling elaborate lies you may find it almost impossible to stop lying overnight. Commit yourself to telling a small number of truths per day and increase them as time progresses. Do not expect that you can just stop a deep ingrained behavior in one or two days. It will take time, but it is possible to stop lying for good.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 4:49am
You can simply ask yourself before lying, "will this affect others?" "How would I feel if I got lied to?" "Why do I feel the need to do this?" The lying may not stop immediately but it should slowly simmer down to almost nothing if you put in a lot of effort.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2016 11:58pm
Every time you lie, journal about it. You will soon find that you are doing it mostly for comfort in yourself, or for a silly and preventable reason. If you don't know the reason yet, start journalling. It is eye opening.. Write in pen too.
Gemma8483
February 7th, 2016 12:48pm
Admit to someone you trust your problem. Then you can practice not lying to them. When you do lie to them, immediately tell them you've lied. If they really care about you they will understand and want to help you.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2015 6:45pm
If you lie often, you should consider things will be worse when the truth is finally discovered. That doesn't feel good.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 4:46am
It's natural that you have an ingrained tendency to lie ..maybe because you're a very personal person who doesn't like sharing much about yourself with others? It's okay to accept that and start making an active habit to catch yourself when you feel somebody is being intrusive and you feel you're about to tell a lie . Then tell the truth or just tell them you'd prefer not to share
MalignantLove
January 29th, 2016 1:24am
Accept the reality of how things truly are. Accept people's choices and decisions for what they are instead of feeling the need to lie for your own reasons.
elliejade
February 10th, 2016 5:16pm
Think before lying, know what lying actually is, and stop it one step at a time rather than stopping it all together because that would be tricky. Tell yourself every hour how bad lying can be and what it can get you into (for example splitting up from serious relationships).
amazingHorizon37
October 9th, 2016 11:33pm
try to think if these lies will hurt those around you, and how it will make them feel. think like Phinocho, when he lied his nose grew, so every time you want to lie, just think oh no my nose will grow.
Jadie
December 4th, 2014 9:30pm
It can help to keep a journal of the lies you've told, and the consequences that came out of it - seeing these will be a reminder of why it is ultimately better (even if harder) to tell the truth.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2014 2:16am
I think I might try to gain an understanding as to why you feel you need to make things up. I wonder if you could get to the point that you like and accept yourself as you are if the need to fabricate would be diminished.
patientLily30
April 5th, 2015 8:53am
Practice telling the truth. Start small like saying what you ate for lunch or what it is that you are wearing. Then just keeping building on telling the truth so that it becomes a habit.
healingWaters73
December 7th, 2015 6:32am
Realizing that lying separates us from self and others and leads to negative distrustful relationships.
NamelessKnight
January 28th, 2016 9:24am
Start being honest. Dont hide and speak the truth. It may be difficult, but you can overcome it in small steps.
Anonymous
October 1st, 2016 11:36am
Trust in the people around you that the truth is good enough for them, self worth is a great first step to loving ourselves,
SleepyTea0
October 16th, 2016 12:54am
One way that you can stop being a compulsive liar would be to find the main source first on what you do it( like is it to get out of something?, work?, feelings?) After you find that then you can slowly try to take steps back and to be more true to yourself!
MiraculousMermaid13
June 15th, 2017 6:15am
Take a moment and ask yourself, "Why am I lying in the first place?" Is it to get approval? Is it to make myself feel better? If yes to either of these, I feel like it's personally best to figure out what the outcome of the lies could result to. "Am I being selfish with this answer I am giving? Am I being my true self?"
Chiyoko
February 4th, 2018 1:43am
I believe the one of the reasons we lie is because we are insecure in ourselves and we are afraid of people knowing the truth even if its not that big of a deal. Becoming more truthful and honest with yourself, will help with telling others lies.
AlluraNine9
April 5th, 2018 4:32am
That’s a tough one. Lies beget lies. It becomes a vicious cycle. For me I had to have an “ah-hah” moment which was getting caught in multiple lies and theft. Since then I’ve gone to almost the opposite extreme. I’m very VERY honest. But the compulsion to lie hits us all from time to time. As soon as it hits ask yourself why do I want to lie? First step to solving this problem (since you already recognized you have one) is knowing the triggers. What is it that makes you want to lie? Acceptance? Fear of ridicule? Fear of punishment? Etc. even keeping a diary may help so you can understand your pattern and begin to curtail it. Eventually, as with most things Like this, you may have to bring yourself to admit some uncomfortable things to salvage friendships or even just have closure. And don’t forget to recognize when you do a good job, avoid lying or set things straight. It isn’t an easy thing to master.
Suenami
May 18th, 2018 9:02pm
You’re using lying as a defense mechanism. Maybe you’re afraid people won’t like you for the person you really are. But you’re a unique person and you should embrace your individual features. Embrace who you are as you are
Anonymous
December 17th, 2014 5:26pm
The best way to avoid being a compulsive liar is to identify why you feel the need to lie and address that issue. If you understand why you feel the need to lie, it will be easier to stop lying.
DebbieCares
August 18th, 2015 7:10pm
Take it one day at a time. Start out small and don't feel too defeated if you fall a few times. When you catch yourself about to lie, stop and think about it. Remind yourself that you are self motivated and can stop lying if you are really determined to do so. Its never too late to begin again.