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How can I stop being a compulsive liar?

127 Answers
Last Updated: 05/11/2022 at 4:03am
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Top Rated Answers
ListeningForHope
April 2nd, 2017 3:15am
To stop being a compulsive liar is extremely difficult because this is something that you have become accustomed to. But there are numerous occurrences of changing our own behaviors each day. For example, if someone wants to stop eating meat, then it takes baby steps to do so. It can start with something as little as "today, I'm going to eat meat only once". The same thing can be said for Compulsive lying. Start by working on things that you can tell the truth about, focus on something small and gradually take steps that way. If you always lie about where you're going, try going to the place you're saying that you're going once a week, then twice, and so on. Same thing if you're lying about how much money you've spent today, as another example. Work by making that number within $20 of your total spending for that day. Then gradually get it to within $1 and then you'll easily be able to tell the truth regarding that subject. But everything comes over time. The first step towards becoming a better you is believing in yourself. Someone believes in you and you should too. But if you feel that no one you know does, then know that I believe in you. To quote Mean Girls "You go Glenn Coco!"
Polysophist
March 10th, 2017 3:56pm
Compulsive lying is most commonly caused by you self-doubt and insecurities. One main solution is to increase your self-esteem. Self-esteem can be defined as your reputation with yourself and I think it shall be better by entering the realm of your unconscious and actual self rather than your ideal self.
Plush
March 5th, 2017 3:49pm
Think before you speak and ask yourself why are you lying? Is there a reason why you want to make up that story?
PaintedPurple
January 6th, 2017 6:01pm
I used to lie a lot. I still do more than I would like. I think lying comes from insecurity and fear of rejection or just bad feedback in general. All you have to do is accept yourself and let others accept you too. If you lie all the time, people don't have the true image of you to respect.
Makaylahelps3350
October 24th, 2019 9:54pm
People who lie compulsively are encouraged to seek the help of a qualified therapist. A therapist can help habitual liars understand their condition and the way it affects other people. They may also reveal underlying diagnoses such as bipolar or ADHD. In these cases, a therapist will likely treat all a person’s issues in tandem. References: American Psychological Association. APA concise dictionary of psychology. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2009. Print. Birch, C. D., Kelln, B. R. C. & Aquino, E. P. B. (2006). A review and case report of pseudologia fantastica. The Journal of Forensic Psychiatry & Psychology, 17(2), 299-320. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-5. (5th ed.). (2013). Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association. Dike, C. C. (2008, June 1). Pathological lying: symptom or disease. Retrieved from http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/pathological-lying-symptom-or-disease
Icanwaitforever
April 29th, 2020 11:04am
First of all I think that you should understand why are you a compulsive liar. Why do you need the urge to lie? Why can not you tell the truth? I know that it is really difficult to answer, but just try to it. When a person will ask you something, before of answering, take a breath and count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... think deeply about the answer. Do you feel the urge to lie? Why? Are you embarrased from saying the truth? Do you think that he or she will judge you? Well, If yes, you should be proud about youself.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2016 4:43pm
Every time you realise you are about to tell a lie, stop talking and give yourself a few seconds to breathe and think about what you're saying.
SleepyTea0
October 16th, 2016 12:54am
One way that you can stop being a compulsive liar would be to find the main source first on what you do it( like is it to get out of something?, work?, feelings?) After you find that then you can slowly try to take steps back and to be more true to yourself!
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 11:45pm
Find someone you trust and tell them when you lie to others. Try to think about what your image is to others before you lie to them.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2014 2:16am
I think I might try to gain an understanding as to why you feel you need to make things up. I wonder if you could get to the point that you like and accept yourself as you are if the need to fabricate would be diminished.
patientLily30
April 5th, 2015 8:53am
Practice telling the truth. Start small like saying what you ate for lunch or what it is that you are wearing. Then just keeping building on telling the truth so that it becomes a habit.
WindMelody
February 22nd, 2016 12:05pm
You should tell someone. Trust me, I used to be a compulsive liar, I actually enjoyed it, but later on I understood that what I was doing was unfair to the ones I loved. So, in my opinion, you should tell someone you really trust to point out to everybody when they feel like you are lying, so you'll have to be honest, if you don't want to lose the persons you love. I understand it may be drastic, but that's probably what you need
Anonymous
October 1st, 2016 11:36am
Trust in the people around you that the truth is good enough for them, self worth is a great first step to loving ourselves,
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:46pm
Firstly think of what made you become one. Maybe someone hurt you so you started lying to protect yourself from being hurt? hmm..
NamelessKnight
January 28th, 2016 9:24am
Start being honest. Dont hide and speak the truth. It may be difficult, but you can overcome it in small steps.
activesmile
December 8th, 2018 11:55am
How can I stop being a compulsive liar? Honesty is the best policy. Lying time and time again - it won't matter if no-one finds out your lies. What matters is the effect it will have on you. Spinning a web of lies will have a bigger, more negative impact on you than it will the person you're lying to, or what you're lying about. Lying WILL eat away at you until soon all you feel is guilt. Yes, lying can be a lot easier than telling the truth. It can seem like the easier way out in the short run. But in the long run, it's only going to have a negative impact on your life and on who you are as a person. Don't let that happen. Be the best version of you that you can be.
OceanFox
April 26th, 2019 5:51pm
Lying is a hard habit to break, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It takes a lot of self-correction. I used to be a bit of a compulsive liar myself. One day I really saw how much it was hurting the people I cared about and I decided I needed to change. The most important thing is to call yourself out on it. If you find yourself in the middle of a lie, literally stop and tell yourself “no” and revise it to the truth. It might seem silly but it really works. Don’t be embarrassed by it. If anyone asks what you’re doing, tell them the truth. Tell them you are trying to break your habit of compulsive lying and that you do WANT to tell them the truth. Most people will be very understanding and appreciative of this, especially if they are close to you. It does take a lot of time and practice, and you shouldn’t expect instant results, but in the end, as long as you’re persistent, it WILL work. Then you will see your relationships heal even if you didn’t know they were broken, and it will have definitely been worth the effort.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2021 7:10pm
When we lie, it is usually out of defense. Perhaps we lie because we don't want to be made fun of; in the past if we told the truth we were humiliated. Perhaps we lie because we feel unsafe telling the truth; in the past if we told the truth we were abused or ignored. There is a part of you who feels they have to lie to protect you. They still believe that they are stuck in the past, constantly facing abuse, neglect, or ridicule. Bring them into the present and help them understand that you can protect yourself, even if it means being honest with those around you. Find other ways to make yourself feel safe and process trauma. It is difficult now, but it will improve your relationships and your ability to function!
Anonymous
September 27th, 2018 1:54am
It is incredibly hard to stop compulsive lies, but thinking of the reasons of why are you doing so might help. Maybe you do not think you are worthy and good enough without all that made up things, but that is not true. You are deserving of love, care and support just the way you are. Another reason, tied up closely to the previous, might be anxiety. Seeking help for anxiety management might help to stop compulsive lies. Sometimes we lie to get out of socially uncomfortable situations and that might become an unhealthy coping mechanism if a person has anxiety.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2018 9:51pm
You need to think about why you lie. What benefit and what are the effects of your lies- ultimately lies are just not worth it in the end it's much more freeing to just be truthful. Compulsive lies usually end up twisted and complicated ending in somebody getting hurt. If you think about the outcome of the lie before you tell it, hopefully you'll realise that the benefits do not actually out way the uselessness and stress of lying. It can destroy trust and relationships so quickly over small and silly lies that just aren't needed. Think before you speak :-)
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2018 10:57pm
Compulsive lying is something that a lot of people can suffer from, especially if their family or social surroundings have meant they have to be more secretive or closed off. Before speaking, take a moment to reflect on what words you are saying and what impact they may have. It can be very hard at first because you come to instinctively deny accusations or make things up that twist or are far from the truth. However, making an effort to think and reflect can really give you a great impact and hopefully you might start to find yourself lying less and less. If you feel you're compulsively lying because of another issue, don't be afraid to seek help/guidance! Hope this helps!
Anonymous
July 18th, 2021 11:25am
Compulsive lying by itself is not a disorder but it can be a symptom of some mental illnesses that require treatment. If one is struggling with compulsive lying, one can seek professional therapy to overcome it. Also, finding a support group can be an effective way to get help and to connect with others who are facing the same issue. It is essential to identify and recognize the different types of lies, and the triggers that cause the lying. It is also important to be conscious of the consequences that lying brings. Relationships may be irreparably broken when lying causes the trust to be gone.
avanef
February 20th, 2022 8:03pm
As opposite as this may sound, those who lie have truth within their lies. Some of us lie because we don’t want to show our true selves - whether that’s due to trauma, betrayal or something else. A lot of people think people who lie have this problem being themselves and wanting to mask some deeper part of us or that we’re mentally ill. That’s not always the case. Yes; lying isn’t a way to go about your life and with others. But, it’s not like everyone doesn’t lie. Some of us give little white lies and others go too deep into their lies and end up making things worse. At the end of the day, if you or those who know you think that you have an issue with your lying, you need to sit yourself down and see as to why you’ve been doing it. What’s the root of this? Why don’t you want to tell the truth? What are you afraid of? Who or what are you trying to protect? Once you understand and know the why to these things, then you can start working on being truthful and not using lying and your crutch to get out of an honest conversation, etc.
SingingPsychStudent
May 11th, 2022 4:03am
Please know that we cannot give advice on that, but we can try to help you see where its coming from with our own experiences. I know when I lied heavily, it wasn't compulsive but when I felt I needed to for some reason, i learned it was due to anxiety based around how I would be perceived. Noting that humans are communal animals, our community is vital to our lively hood, and we don't need to be vocally taught this to see how vital it is to our wellbeing. So, when I knew that people in my life (that had influence on my emotions) were around, I would lie to impress as an attempt at keep my emotions stable/ from harsh criticism. Mind you, from what I've learned from my psych professors and mentors, you may also lie as a protective mechanism as well. Now, I cannot fully understand what you're going through, I can recognize some similarities as to why I would lie. If you can, I would talk to a psych about this, but I hoped this help you better understand where it might stem from.
Anonymous
April 6th, 2018 11:35pm
Never forget who you are. Do you want to be like that? Acceptance is key, and acknowledging the fact that you want to change. That itself will prompt something, and hopefully you’ll change yourself. Otherwise, just watch what you say, knowing and understanding your feelings.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 9:22pm
Firstly, try to accept what you have done, and what you are doing. Try to figure out why you lie, and what you can do to stop and kill the root.
saintmccallister
May 18th, 2018 8:52pm
By being forthcoming with yourself and understanding that you are doing something that is not only hurting others, but also yourself.
gloriousNarwhal6399
February 13th, 2022 1:59am
It can be tough to change this behavior. It may be helpful to first spend time exploring why and how the tendency to be untruthful started. Usually when we have unhelpful behaviors part of the reason, we continue to do them is because at some point in our life it was reinforced allowing us to meet our needs. Often struggling with being truthful can develop from a desire to please others, trying to avoid harsh punishment, or avoid consequences. If you have tried to change this behavior on your own but find that it is incredibly difficult it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. Just know that the behavior developed for a reason and is not due to any sort of character flaw.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 12:26pm
Well firstly, you have to be honest with yourself and set some consequences to help your habits. Also, be kind to yourself. This is hard to overcome in a short period of time.
Anonymous
October 6th, 2021 7:20pm
Delve deeper into honesty and communication with the people most important to you. It proved to be best in my life to weigh out the benefits of lying, and how it harms the people I'm lying to. It proved to be that I am harming the people more than I am benefitting from the lie. It was so much easier to lie and easier to make up a story, but it hurt the people close to me when they found out I was lying, and the blatant honesty in the moment proved to deescalate the situation as well as improve it.