How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/29/2018 at 3:12am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Richard Manson, BSW,CAP

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Compassionate, non-judgemental and experienced substance abuse therapist driven to helping guide clients to overcome issues relating to abusing drugs and/or alcohol.

Top Rated Answers
August 5th, 2015 5:23pm
i think you simply let go of thhat person theres no trick about it, when you care alot about them everything they do gets to u easily
August 15th, 2015 12:54am
You can't stop them... They will hurt you any way they can. Why? Their bad manners? Lack of care? Bad education and raising? You should care for none od these. Feel no pity towards these people and ignore them. If you cant ignore them and you are forced tobsee them every day, report them. Tell someone. Talk to someone about it, my dear questioner. Find a person who will listen, is it a friend or a professional. Surround yourself with positive things! When these people see that you couldnt care less about them, they will drop the attitude. You are a master of your own hapiness! You deserve to be loved and cared! You dont need these people in your life. Hope this helps.
June 28th, 2015 9:48pm
If they don't care you have to get rid of those toxic people in your life. You are completely worth it and if someoe can't see that and keep hurting you, then it's their problem
July 4th, 2015 10:55am
You need to forget about them, no matter how long it takes, any memories that you have, in photos or cards, throw them away, you need to remove yourself from a position that makes you feel upset!
July 22nd, 2015 2:27am
The most efficient way is to limit your exposure to them - unfriend them on social media, block their phone number, don't go place where you know they'll be. Unfortunately, isn't always possible to completely avoid them if the person hurting your feelings is a family member, co-worker, or someone you share many mutual friends with. If this is the case, limit your interaction with them as much as is possible & just try to get through it when you do need to be around them. We can't control the actions of others, but we can control our reactions to them. When they do or say something hurtful, try to keep it in perspective & not let their petty thoughts drag you down.
July 17th, 2015 2:23am
One of the things I have done is try to take a "mental step back." I try to distance myself a bit and remind myself that someone not caring is not about me but about them. This often leaves me less vulnerable to emotional reactions to what they say/do. If I can't mentally take that step back, then I try to physically step back--spend less time around them and interact with them less frequently. Finally, I work hard to make sure that someone who I know DOES care for my feelings knows about the situation. I then vent to them and bounce ideas off of them to see if I'm being overly emotional and defensive.
July 30th, 2015 1:54am
my mother used to say that a person's opinion on you didn't reflect what you were, but the way that person understands the world therefore understands you; people are going to be mean, some will understand when you tell them you are hurt, and some others will not; but people who are mean or say mean things about you, aren't actually talking about you, they are talking about themselves, their mind, their values. keeping that in mind helped me not be hurt by people who didn't care about me
July 4th, 2015 11:38pm
In that case you just have one last thing to do : cut them out of your life. This might sound harsh and rude to do that, but this is for your own good, and when it comes to you feeling hurt, it is your right to erase the people responsalbe of it. Don't feel guilty about cutting people out of your life, it is your right
July 31st, 2015 10:13am
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Sometimes we have to accept that people we would like to be in our lives don't want to be there. There are a lot of people out there who are worth the effort, but you do have to go through a sorting process until you find them. Decide who is indifferent, who is a friend, and who is a soulmate, and act accordingly. This doesn't mean reciprocate, it means we know the difference between dogs, cats and lions.
August 13th, 2015 2:40pm
They always say, respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone that no longer serves you or cares
July 29th, 2015 12:14am
The first step is to remain strong, often people who do not care about your feelings may do everything in their power to break you down and if they are given that opportunity to feed on your emotions, they may just win. Keeping a distance also helps to remove their negativity from hurting you. You should not expose yourself to people who do not care about hurting your feelings because this can affect your self-confidence and self esteem. Life is too short to worry about people like that. Enjoy life and be happy.
June 24th, 2015 12:52am
be strong, love yourself for who you are and fight for what you really want, nothing is stronger than you.
July 10th, 2015 7:15pm
I firstly try and discuss with the person how I am feeling by what they are doing to me. If they do not listen and it continues I remove them from my life.
August 16th, 2015 1:56pm
Sometimes if someone is being insensitive and doesn't care how they are causing you to feel, all you can do is separate yourself from them.
August 5th, 2015 11:16pm
When someone wants to hurt you, sometimes they just want to hurt themselves even more. By hurting others, their self loathing becomes justified. "It's okay that I hate myself, I am a bad person because I hurt others". In cases like these, it is best not to respond at all to them, if you can, act like you did not even hear them. This way they know you are not a target and if you keep in mind that they might hate their self, your feelings may be spared. Look at the situation as if they are projecting their own insecurities onto you.
August 5th, 2015 1:33pm
get rid of them, don't stay around people give you negative thoughts and bad feelings. you should be with people who care for you as much as you care for them, not around people hurt you.
August 15th, 2015 3:46pm
Distance yourself from them until you can figure out if the person is also going trough some hard times or if it is just unhealthy for you to be around them.
June 19th, 2015 8:07pm
Distance yourself from them, remove yourself from their lives as much as you can - if it's in the work place, ignore them as much as possible and focus on your friends or something you really enjoy, like good music or a book or such... If it's in the family, then try to spend time with the family members you love and arrange things where the person who hurts you isn't included... if you can't avoid this person, try as much as possible to show confidence and not walk around like you're ashamed of yourself or feeling sad all the time, don't give them that power... and if you have the courage or will, then sometimes stand up to this person even if it's incredibly difficult and even if your voice shakes, because it can show how you won't let them step all over you. And try to get support from friends or family or others and see if they can help stand up for you in tough situations.
June 26th, 2015 4:56am
I think that you can cut all ties with them and just ignore them if they ever try to hurt you again because sometimes they're only doing it for attention. However, if it gets to the point that you think you really can't handle it on your own anymore, then please please reach out for help either to your immediate friends or family or anyone that you think will be able to help you in dealing with it :)
July 8th, 2015 12:22am
From my own personal experience, if you are fully aware that someone does not care about your feelings, there isn't a way to prevent them from hurting you. If someone does not care about you, the next best thing you can do is to help yourself and distance yourself from them so that you aren't putting yourself in harms way. If in the future they prove they have changed, you can decide whether to let them back in or not, but be cautious in doing so, because it will be just as hard the second time as it was the first to cut them out of your life.
June 19th, 2015 11:10pm
Short of being clear and direct with a person, there isn't much to do in order to stop them from engaging into hurtful behaviour. Violence is not an option. Retaliation, in any form, is pointless and ultimately degrading. In my experience: nobody could hurt me once I genuinely stopped caring about their opinion and their hurtful ways. You are a beautiful living entity, capable of a great many things, and absolutely detached from any observation or opinion any other person can make up. Make the necessary time to grow that confidence in your amazing self. Your amazing self.
July 31st, 2015 8:00pm
I find the best thing to do is to be honest about how Im feeling with that person. If they still don't care, I then think to myself, "in the long run, do I really need or will I benefit positively from having this person who doesnt care about me in my life?" and I make my decision from there.
June 10th, 2016 1:31pm
If that person don't care about you why be with them..why let them harm you anymore hurt your feelings any more
June 20th, 2015 7:12am
I personally feel that if someone is hurting you, and doesn't care about your feelings, you need to eliminate this person from your life. If they are making you feel upset or down in anyway, you need to either approach them about it and ask them why they are doing it and if in fact they even realise that they are doing it. If they realise what they have been doing or saying has been hurting you and proceed to change how they are treating you then keep them around, they're a good person and someone to take care of. However if they don't make any change from their previous behaviour, lose them. You're better than dragging around people like that.
July 23rd, 2015 8:19pm
If they don't care about your feelings and your completely sure of this (as sometimes we can think that people don't care but they do its just they don't understand) then I would distance myself from this person.
June 24th, 2015 7:00pm
If they do not care about you, then you should remind yourself that there is nothing they can do to hurt you because even though it doesn't feel like it they aren't a good person to be around.
July 22nd, 2015 5:29am
don't give them the power to hurt you, giving them the power to hurt you and affect your feelings is what makes it hurt. Block them from every aspect, and make yourself happy.
July 4th, 2015 8:38am
Ignore them then walk away from them. Let them know that you want nothing to do with them anymore.
August 9th, 2015 5:54pm
Personally I think the best course is to limit your contact with this person, and to be mindful that this person does not control you, or your feelings. You get to choose how you react and feel. Take care.
January 22nd, 2016 4:27pm
If they don't care about your feelings, I don't think they care enough about you, for you to continue waste your time on them. Just tell them directly and try to discuss about this with them. If this fails, just push them away from your life.