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How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 03/26/2023 at 8:47am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Psychologist

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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 8:19pm
If they don't care about your feelings and your completely sure of this (as sometimes we can think that people don't care but they do its just they don't understand) then I would distance myself from this person.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2015 5:54pm
Personally I think the best course is to limit your contact with this person, and to be mindful that this person does not control you, or your feelings. You get to choose how you react and feel. Take care.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 7:00pm
If they do not care about you, then you should remind yourself that there is nothing they can do to hurt you because even though it doesn't feel like it they aren't a good person to be around.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2016 8:41am
How do you care for yourself when you have bad feelings? You're hurt when people don't care about how you feel and that's understandable. We all deserve to be heard and validated. Why do you think it hurts you when others show they don't care about your feelings? Are you asking how to stop feeling hurt when people don't care? Perhaps you mean to ask how to make others care? Remember, you ultimately have no control over other people's opinions or actions, and their opinions are not representative of you - they only represent those people. Your own opinions about your feelings are what will be important in the long-run. Thinking about why these things affect you and thinking patterns or life style changes that you can make to change your reactions over time can help, but ultimately you know what is best for you. You know your feelings matter and that's important.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2017 3:51pm
You need to detach yourself from that person. You are worthy and do not deserve to be hurt by someone who doesn't care and doesn't deserve someone like you. Be your own hero.
Wvangel1125
July 29th, 2018 3:12am
Every time I need him.. need to talk just want him to listen. Told him many times I’m not mad I’m hurt an all I need is to be held an told it’s all gonna be okay.. i get nothing.. I have him a choice 3 times in a row game or me.. well needless to say I’m not what he choose so... what’s my next step?
2cupsofteaa
September 24th, 2016 1:15am
Cut them off from your life. Although extreme, it follows the principle of not wasting your time with people who does not respect or value your feelings. However, if you feel like this person is worth at the end of the day, have a serious talk with him/her about it. Perhaps he/she does not even realize that they are hurting you.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 8:38am
Ignore them then walk away from them. Let them know that you want nothing to do with them anymore.
Jelli
March 8th, 2016 10:40pm
In this case, it is important to set appropriate boundaries with the person and the relationship so you don't continue to get hurt. If the relationship is with someone close to you, like family, appropriate boundaries can be set so the person doesn't continue to hurt you. If the person hurting you is a friend or another relationship, boundaries need to be set as well as possibly not having that person as a friend anymore. Ultimately, your safety in relationships is the most important. Remember that you have value and you matter. You deserve to have people in your life that value you. Keep your head up. :)
TheTripleS719
September 17th, 2016 5:07am
You're going to get this response alot; IGNORE THEM. The amount of satisfaction they get from seeing you respond is unimaginable. Trust me, ignoring someone who is trying to hurt you will make them get bored and choose someone else to do it to until they ignore them, too.
adilm299
August 15th, 2015 10:36pm
you have to know your self worth. Know what you are worth and don't let anyone hurt your feelings. You have to know how much you your self are worth and know that you are amazing know matter what.
TheCup5893
February 24th, 2017 7:57pm
Cutting all contact. You do not need toxic company. They need to know you are not someone to tolerate being mistreated. and They need to be out of your life this instant!
ANewChapter
August 13th, 2015 3:47am
This happened to me when I was 14 and it didn't stop in till I decided not to allow them to hurt my feelings by not caring about what they thought of me
caringFriend21
January 8th, 2017 9:30pm
Ditch them. Its hard to get rid of them but its easier to live without them. Life without them at all will leave more room for the people that do care about you.
Anonymous
June 28th, 2015 3:01pm
First, it depends of the place they have in your life. If they are a family member, you should probably try harder to fix that because you cannot change blood relationships. However, if they are not, ignore them and detach yourself from them. Avoid the places they go, do not talk to them or about them, delete them from your social medias, avoid eyes contact, keep yourself busy so that they see you have no time for them, listen to music when you are obliged to be near them so that you cannot hear what they say. Time will pass by and they will leave you alone. Good luck!
CarissasHereToTalk
August 18th, 2017 6:58pm
Sometimes the best thing to do when somebody doesn't care about your feelings is to let them go and not let them be a part of your life anymore for your own good. That doesn't mean to be mean to them or not wave back at them if they see you somewhere, but don't give them the chance to hurt you.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 2:33pm
When my feelings are hurt by someone, it's more my choice than theirs. Everyone is a random person until I choose to give them the space in my heart and life to the extent that they are able to influence my emotions in any way. If someone chooses to hurt me and not care about my feelings, I can stop that by creating an emotional wall between their choices and my emotions. Physical hurt of course requires physical distance to avoid it, in the same way, we create emotional distance to avoid emotional hurt until the person proves themselves worthy of a space in our heart and life.
heavenDew65
October 2nd, 2016 7:31pm
Don't allow the things they say or do affect you. Walk away from the situation and calmly relax, or find a outlet to de-stress.
Yas31
June 10th, 2017 9:59am
Build healthy boundaries around yourself. Learn to say 'No' politely in 19 different ways. Nasty people don't deserve how we feel.
RollingTide
August 13th, 2015 5:44pm
Besides the obvious answer, AVOIDANCE, if you are hurt by someone who doesn't care about your feelings, you first have to realize that some people do not have the capacity to care for other's feelings. We each, as individuals, have different feelings to the same issues. Some people are much more compassionate, but Empathy is not something everyone expresses. The more caring and compassionate one is, the more likely they are to feel as if others don't respect their feelings, thus leaving them to be hurt by their own emotions. We do not have control of how others may treat us, but we have the control to ALLOW how those individuals affect us. We can CHOOSE to let them continue to hurt us emotionally or we can CHOOSE to remove ourselves, pick up the pieces, and carry on, one step at a time. Sometimes, you just have to cut your losses and walk away. But it is a CHOICE.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2017 3:54pm
Don't associate with then anymore. You already know they don't seem to care so why should u waste your energy in someone like that. At the end of the day you have to make the hardest decision in order to open more opportunities to meet new people. So the hardest decision being letting go of the person.
Caringmagic60
February 10th, 2016 2:18pm
We have the freedom to love anyone... Expecting is the worst thing I would do to myself.. When they don't care about my feelings, they're not interested that much in our life
rainyCupcake49
September 18th, 2016 3:47pm
Talk to them and have an honest conversation. If they still don't understand, there's always an option to leave that person out of your life.
Bella20
August 14th, 2015 2:50pm
I would just sort of review if it is worth it to let that person keep doing it. Is it really worth my happiness? Do I really want to continue to live in pain just to keep from losing that person? My answers would be no. Because I want to be happy and not be in pain. And if they get upset, then oh well. They can deal with it. But I want to be happy and my happiness is worth more than my distress. And I would pick happiness over that someone every time.
Anonymous
November 26th, 2017 5:42am
If someone doesn't care about your feelings, they probably don't care about you either. Having people that don't care about you in your life isn't good for your emotional state. Removing these people from your life is the best way of not letting them hurt you anymore. If you can't do that, then minimize the time you spend with that person. Another thing you can do is understand that their words are just words, and they don't mean anything. They are just saying those things to hurt you, and letting them do that is just letting them win. Realizing that having that kind of toxic person in your life just isn't worth it is a great way of not letting them hurt you anymore.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2017 2:50pm
Remember that you don't have to have anyone in your life that doesn't care about you. I suggest talking to them and and telling them you don't feel like you're cared about in the relationship.
SoaringWings
August 20th, 2017 6:11pm
Simply put- you can't. If someone truly doesn't care about your feelings, then there is likely something going on with them internally that prevents them from feeling empathy towards you. Thus the hurtful comments/abuse. The best thing to do in this situation is to either remove yourself from it or work on seeing them for what they are and know that their hurtful comments are coming from a place inside THEM and are not a true reflection of YOU.
thenormalstate
December 9th, 2016 1:56am
A person who genuinely does not care for your feelings either misunderstands them and can be persuaded to understand, or they are potentially toxic to your well-being. Communication is key. If you feel safe enough, start the conversation. If their response isn't what you need, consider moving on from this relationship for your own emotional health.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 2:43pm
If possible, stop being around them / block them on whatsapp etc.. Being around people that don't care about your feelings and hurt you doesn't do you any good.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2017 5:20pm
If they don't care about your feelings, it's probably safe to assume there's nothing you could do to stop them from hurting you. Take care of yourself and do what's best for you and your safety.