How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/29/2018 at 3:12am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Richard Manson, BSW,CAP

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Compassionate, non-judgemental and experienced substance abuse therapist driven to helping guide clients to overcome issues relating to abusing drugs and/or alcohol.

Top Rated Answers
1musicloverever
February 1st, 2017 10:06pm
You just leave them, you have are worth more than all the money in the world and you shouldn't be treated that way. You are resilient, extraordinary, intelligent and brave and you deserve that kind of treatment. It may hurt now a little bit because you might have attachments to this person or think things will get better for the two of you, but sometimes you have to accept how reality works. I do hope you are okay and you decide well for the two of you.
peacefulkat
April 9th, 2017 3:37am
You can stop relying on them for everything, try not to tell them about your feelings and the problems you are facing. You may talk to them and be around them but don't trust them and always take the things they have to say to heart. Try meeting new people and talking to them, don't focus on the one person who you know does not care about your feelings, someone who could hurt you in the near future.
2cupsofteaa
September 24th, 2016 1:15am
Cut them off from your life. Although extreme, it follows the principle of not wasting your time with people who does not respect or value your feelings. However, if you feel like this person is worth at the end of the day, have a serious talk with him/her about it. Perhaps he/she does not even realize that they are hurting you.
AlexisSky
March 30th, 2017 8:46pm
If the person does not care about your feelings, they will not care if they hurt you. Therefore it would benefit you to voice your concerns. If they do not change even after what you've told them, I'd advise to exclude them from your daily life if at all possible.
adilm299
August 15th, 2015 10:36pm
you have to know your self worth. Know what you are worth and don't let anyone hurt your feelings. You have to know how much you your self are worth and know that you are amazing know matter what.
TheTripleS719
September 17th, 2016 5:07am
You're going to get this response alot; IGNORE THEM. The amount of satisfaction they get from seeing you respond is unimaginable. Trust me, ignoring someone who is trying to hurt you will make them get bored and choose someone else to do it to until they ignore them, too.
rainyCupcake49
September 18th, 2016 3:47pm
Talk to them and have an honest conversation. If they still don't understand, there's always an option to leave that person out of your life.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 2:33pm
When my feelings are hurt by someone, it's more my choice than theirs. Everyone is a random person until I choose to give them the space in my heart and life to the extent that they are able to influence my emotions in any way. If someone chooses to hurt me and not care about my feelings, I can stop that by creating an emotional wall between their choices and my emotions. Physical hurt of course requires physical distance to avoid it, in the same way, we create emotional distance to avoid emotional hurt until the person proves themselves worthy of a space in our heart and life.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2017 3:51pm
You need to detach yourself from that person. You are worthy and do not deserve to be hurt by someone who doesn't care and doesn't deserve someone like you. Be your own hero.
Wvangel1125
July 29th, 2018 3:12am
Every time I need him.. need to talk just want him to listen. Told him many times I’m not mad I’m hurt an all I need is to be held an told it’s all gonna be okay.. i get nothing.. I have him a choice 3 times in a row game or me.. well needless to say I’m not what he choose so... what’s my next step?
Anonymous
June 28th, 2015 3:01pm
First, it depends of the place they have in your life. If they are a family member, you should probably try harder to fix that because you cannot change blood relationships. However, if they are not, ignore them and detach yourself from them. Avoid the places they go, do not talk to them or about them, delete them from your social medias, avoid eyes contact, keep yourself busy so that they see you have no time for them, listen to music when you are obliged to be near them so that you cannot hear what they say. Time will pass by and they will leave you alone. Good luck!
ANewChapter
August 13th, 2015 3:47am
This happened to me when I was 14 and it didn't stop in till I decided not to allow them to hurt my feelings by not caring about what they thought of me
Caringmagic60
February 10th, 2016 2:18pm
We have the freedom to love anyone... Expecting is the worst thing I would do to myself.. When they don't care about my feelings, they're not interested that much in our life
Jelli
March 8th, 2016 10:40pm
In this case, it is important to set appropriate boundaries with the person and the relationship so you don't continue to get hurt. If the relationship is with someone close to you, like family, appropriate boundaries can be set so the person doesn't continue to hurt you. If the person hurting you is a friend or another relationship, boundaries need to be set as well as possibly not having that person as a friend anymore. Ultimately, your safety in relationships is the most important. Remember that you have value and you matter. You deserve to have people in your life that value you. Keep your head up. :)
heavenDew65
October 2nd, 2016 7:31pm
Don't allow the things they say or do affect you. Walk away from the situation and calmly relax, or find a outlet to de-stress.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2016 8:41am
How do you care for yourself when you have bad feelings? You're hurt when people don't care about how you feel and that's understandable. We all deserve to be heard and validated. Why do you think it hurts you when others show they don't care about your feelings? Are you asking how to stop feeling hurt when people don't care? Perhaps you mean to ask how to make others care? Remember, you ultimately have no control over other people's opinions or actions, and their opinions are not representative of you - they only represent those people. Your own opinions about your feelings are what will be important in the long-run. Thinking about why these things affect you and thinking patterns or life style changes that you can make to change your reactions over time can help, but ultimately you know what is best for you. You know your feelings matter and that's important.
caringFriend21
January 8th, 2017 9:30pm
Ditch them. Its hard to get rid of them but its easier to live without them. Life without them at all will leave more room for the people that do care about you.
TheCup5893
February 24th, 2017 7:57pm
Cutting all contact. You do not need toxic company. They need to know you are not someone to tolerate being mistreated. and They need to be out of your life this instant!
Moonshade
August 2nd, 2015 6:15pm
If I believe someone doesn't care about my feelings, I try to detach with love. I am learning to trust those who are trustworthy. I can communicate with them respectfully no matter how they behave. I can try to understand their behaviour without being hurt. I value myself to not remain in a harmful situation if someone is being hurtful. I try to keep in mind that we are all learning and that people often don't intent to hurt my feelings.
RollingTide - Expert in Managing Emotions
August 13th, 2015 5:44pm
Besides the obvious answer, AVOIDANCE, if you are hurt by someone who doesn't care about your feelings, you first have to realize that some people do not have the capacity to care for other's feelings. We each, as individuals, have different feelings to the same issues. Some people are much more compassionate, but Empathy is not something everyone expresses. The more caring and compassionate one is, the more likely they are to feel as if others don't respect their feelings, thus leaving them to be hurt by their own emotions. We do not have control of how others may treat us, but we have the control to ALLOW how those individuals affect us. We can CHOOSE to let them continue to hurt us emotionally or we can CHOOSE to remove ourselves, pick up the pieces, and carry on, one step at a time. Sometimes, you just have to cut your losses and walk away. But it is a CHOICE.
SarahLouise96
August 31st, 2015 8:29pm
You have to work towards realising you are worth more than this person, you need to work towards a better life for you which will include leaving those who hurt you behind because e you are of most importance in your life
AppleGreen7098
September 30th, 2015 5:16pm
I totally can relate to you right now... I call her my friend but she just gives me cold treatment without any reason at all, ignores me like I don't exist and it makes me think the worst about myself. But then, after realizing that I don't deserve that kind of treatment from her, I just thought to hell with it I have my own life to live and I won't waste it by dwelling on why she's doing it. Just let them be and let them realize what they are going to lose. Just live your life the way to want it to be. Don't push yourself to them cause there are always people out there ready to take you just who you are without hesitations.
AllanFisher
January 9th, 2016 7:30am
If someone is hurting me then I will ignore them completely and move on in my life as they do not care about my feelings. I don't have to care it either.
Catt3456
January 9th, 2016 9:59pm
If someone doesnt care about your feelings then you shoulndt be with them in the first place, they're not worth it, you have a lot of love to give and receive, dont lose your time with people that dont know how to appreciate that
sunflowersandsunshine47
January 13th, 2016 5:44am
What you need to do is remove that person completely from your lives. Sometimes, you're in a situation where that is not possible, so you need to tell that person that you don't want to be friends with them or associate with them, if they ignore you you need to alert your parents or whoever is in charge and make them aware of the situation
Enithia
January 20th, 2016 3:00pm
You don't need such a person in your life. Eventually you'll learn that, in the end they're not worth it. So leave them. Chin up, be brave, be strong, and stand up for yourself. You can only live peacefully and happily with someone who respects you.
DandyylionOfficial
January 22nd, 2016 8:49pm
You can't stop people, exactly. But you can change the way you receive it and then way they deal it.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:11am
Lose communication with them. As hard as it may be, losing any source of connection with them will lessen the amount of pain they might cause you. It will also slowly help you move apart from them.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:49pm
Get away from them. If some people are hurting you, get away, don't even think about it twice. When a door is closed, a window gets opened
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 12:04am
If this happened to me, I would cut all ties with them. I could not accept someone hurting me that way.