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How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 03/26/2023 at 8:47am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
Br33zyS3tz
July 9th, 2015 5:37pm
This may be troublesome to consider, the fact that some people may not care about your feelings, but the best way to protect yourself is to be strong, to be confident in yourself, to keep your head and spirits high; you know who you are, there is power in that. Don't respond to hurting comments or agitations, be the better and bigger person; demonstrate that you are above such immaturity, such ignorance and insecurity. Your power lies within you, its your job to acknowledge and display that power all the time; through thick and thin, you are characterized by this power, and with this power, no one can truly hurt you.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 6:04am
You get away from that person. Whoever does that to you does not deserve to be around the plethora of awesomeness that is you
blissfulGrace86
January 13th, 2016 5:30pm
I love myself more cause no one deserves to be sad ... feeling lost and sad is normal so I also need to give myself time
Alethiology
February 8th, 2016 3:51pm
If they don't care about your feelings then try your best to expel them from your life. They don't matter.
RaneemTH
January 10th, 2016 9:11pm
Get away from the ones that hurt you, stay away from them. If they don't show you that they care about your feelings, then they will think a lone, they still have feelings, and they'll eventually feel what have they been doing. If they don't. Then they are not worth your time.
Anonymous
September 18th, 2016 12:01pm
If someone doesn't seem to care about your feelings, it might be a misunderstanding because of some many things that haven't been discussed between the two of you. Maybe you can tell the other person how you are feeling and see how he or she reacts. Maybe it's not clear for him or her that s/he's hurting you.
mike251
January 10th, 2016 8:19pm
You can acknowledge that our emotions and reactions only stem from us. No person is perfect, so you will be hurt by someone that cares about you at some point in your life. The real challenge and triumph is to realize this and change the way we think about our lives and our surroundings. It will help things "roll off you back" more easily. Also, it will be easier to look at tough situations as a time to learn, and not as something negative we have to go through.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 6:30am
If somebody do not care about your feelings, it means that you do not mean anything to them. So I think you should cut them off from your life. It is better than being continuously hurt by them. I was in such a relationship for 3 years and I suffered, a lot. Then my brain started to work and I decided to cut them off.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 6:35pm
Just ignore them, if they try to bring you down it only means they are bellow you to begin with. Just try and ignore them
Lil2015
January 2nd, 2016 10:32pm
If I realise someone are acting with no or little empathy for my feelings I try to see the situation as much from a distance as I can. It's easier then to distance myself from words that could be either directed to hurt or said witout thought of how I would take them. It can be hard to understand what the person hurting me is thinking and going through, but if I try to understand that it usually helps me to see all the actions as a a cause and effect rather than a superior person not validating me. If I feel good about myself and make sure I have activities on the sparetime that are enriching and have space to relax then my selfesteem usually gets higher and it's easier to deal with people with low empathy.
Zozzie
June 21st, 2015 12:04am
If this person is upsetting you and seems to gain pleasure from achieving a negative reaction from you, maybe consider hiding your reaction from them- it may not feel like a solution to for example, go and cry where they can't see you, but this will increase their boredom as they no longer get the reaction they desire. Think of their actions as a form of attention seeking- they see you as a source of the attention they crave, and as a result return to you for it time and time again. Additionally, this will allow you to become stronger generally as you will learn to control your feelings so you are able to choose when, where, and how you release them, as opposed to breaking down in situations that make you feel worse. You may want to find out if their actions are intentional as they may just lack compatibility with you- take the example of an introvert and extrovert: the introvert may not feel comfortable with being put in the spotlight, but the extrovert being more confident may force this upon them purely as an unfortunate lack of empathy that will cause unintentional upset.
rose37xo
April 16th, 2017 10:45pm
You aren't responsible or in control of anybody else's choices. It's heartbreaking when we feel that someone doesn't care about us, but we do not control their words or actions. However, you have your own free will, so you can protect yourself by distancing yourself from negative people that don't seem to care about you. Don't be afraid of them, and try to understand where they're coming from too, because there's always more than one side to every story. Surround yourself with people who DO care for you, and find activities to do that you enjoy. There's so much out there just waiting for you, and you don't need to waste your time worrying about one negative person.
PoliteOcean
August 9th, 2015 6:54am
You can't stop someone else from their actions. The only person you can control is yourself. If you feel you are in a relationship or friendship that makes you feel this way, then its time to take a step back and evaluate that relationship. Only you can look within your heart and decide what is best for you.
heavenKoala44
July 10th, 2015 8:35pm
you can stop people from hurting you simply letting go. letting go is a difficult part in a relationship but it's necessary for your health because you can't be sad for the rest of your life. after this point, everything will seem better.
WhimsicalZamboni
June 20th, 2015 3:23am
Recognize that their anger likely comes from a place of pain. This makes their attack less personal and you become more empathetic towards their plight.
politeDreamer76
December 25th, 2015 5:59pm
You need to leave them. If you have told them how they make you feel and thy still haven't tried to change then you should cut them out of your life
gracefulBeauty100
February 10th, 2018 8:48am
We are not responsible for others action and we can't control other people or the things that are happening to us. But we can choose how to react. Pain is in ourselves, but only if we let it in.
Anonymous
August 15th, 2015 2:48am
To ignore them, and know they're trying to hurt you, shouldn't hurt you. Be yourself and stay strong
Anonymous
April 25th, 2015 5:48pm
Make them understand that you're also a human like them, that they shouldn't treat you like that, i guess.
Fighterror41
August 16th, 2015 9:07am
Act like you don't care either. And gradually your actions will become your reality. That's all I would say.
darlenexemily0304
October 12th, 2015 10:43am
Hmm, i guess you should force yourself to stop having contact with that someone, because if you still do, i bet it'll just continue hurting you. If you feel they dont romantically love you, you cant just walk away. i know it hurts and i know youll get through it. just have a little fight
Anonymous
June 19th, 2015 1:01am
Realize that if the person you care about doesnt care about your feelings then you deserve better and you need to move on cx
iouty
December 23rd, 2015 10:12pm
You can stop someone from hurting you when they don't care about your feelngs by removing them from your life.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 10:55pm
I can stop someone from hurting me by standing up for myself and subtracting then from my life. Keeping the positive in and leaving the negative aspects behind.
candy37
June 25th, 2015 2:40pm
I stop someone from hurting me by ignoring them slowly slowly . that will get them to understand that they need to back off
igetcha
January 6th, 2016 3:11am
You can't control what someone else does. You can get away from them. You can also decide the impact their actions have on your life. You can make them as small as possible or channel them into something constructive
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 10:49pm
The only person you can control is you. Therefore it's your job to limit your interaction with people that aren't worthy of knowing you.
peacefulPerspective38
July 5th, 2015 12:50pm
if they don't care, nothing will make them care, maybe they'll when they know it's possible to lose you, so they put more efforts, but if they don't, keep away from them |:/
revanth1538
July 1st, 2015 3:41am
yes, almost all lot of us one or more situations may had this experience. it may be more times because of miscommunication or misunderstanding. some times with some another reason may be because of some another reason which we may never know. I n that situation, if i know that there is no fault of me in any way, i will keep calm stare at him . then the flow of talk naturally will come down. he may think to change the strategy or start introspection. it may change the situation. or simply you can say "I am no more taking your words. keep with you & see you. soon. bye. ".
QueenOfGoats98
January 1st, 2016 7:14pm
This is always a tricky situation because you do not want to be rude, but you still wish to get the point through. First of all, telling them to stop might work. Simply go up to them, preferably in private at first and ask them politely to stop doing whatever is hurting you. Second, remove them from your life: if they are a so-called "friend', tell your other friends that you do not wish to go to events with that person, nicely explaining the situation. If they are on social media: even easier as you can block and/or mute them. Third method, tell superiors! If they are co-workers, you should go see the boss and nicely explain the situation (if they do not do anything, they aren't doing their job). If they are classmates, see the teacher of the principal. You can always get help from others but remember: the point is not to be rude to them back, it is to get them to stop being rude to you.