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How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 03/26/2023 at 8:47am
How can I stop someone from hurting me when they don't care about my feelings?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD

Psychologist

With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
AutumnSunset23
June 24th, 2015 8:10pm
Be assertive and stand up for yourself. Be strong. And reach out to close family members or friends for support.
candy37
June 25th, 2015 2:40pm
I stop someone from hurting me by ignoring them slowly slowly . that will get them to understand that they need to back off
revanth1538
July 1st, 2015 3:41am
yes, almost all lot of us one or more situations may had this experience. it may be more times because of miscommunication or misunderstanding. some times with some another reason may be because of some another reason which we may never know. I n that situation, if i know that there is no fault of me in any way, i will keep calm stare at him . then the flow of talk naturally will come down. he may think to change the strategy or start introspection. it may change the situation. or simply you can say "I am no more taking your words. keep with you & see you. soon. bye. ".
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 10:49pm
The only person you can control is you. Therefore it's your job to limit your interaction with people that aren't worthy of knowing you.
peacefulPerspective38
July 5th, 2015 12:50pm
if they don't care, nothing will make them care, maybe they'll when they know it's possible to lose you, so they put more efforts, but if they don't, keep away from them |:/
soulPanda2112
July 9th, 2015 4:13am
It is very common for people to hurt you if they don't care as much as you do. Sometimes people don't understand how sensitive or emotional you might be and how their words affect you. It is important to realize such people and it is essential to distance yourself. The option of distancing yourself is underrated and should be used more often to respect yourself and protect yourself from a lot of emotional pain
GoodVibes97
July 9th, 2015 2:45pm
Honestly, leave them be they aren't worth it if all they ever do is put you down they aren't worth being in your life. This person things that you can just be walked all over cause you're sweet and kind. Why be kind to someone who has no respect for you?
Poshia1
July 11th, 2015 12:04pm
You have to stop talking to them, and try ignoring them. When someone keeps hurting you and doesn't care about how you feel, you have to let them go.
12farah21
July 11th, 2015 9:56pm
I've found that the people who don't care about my feelings do not deserve to be given the ability to hurt me. Avoid them and their negativity, and if you can't do that, then just don't listen, their opinion wasn't asked for anyway.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2015 2:11am
Many would say to just not care about them and what they say or do. Often, however, it is difficult to do this, especially if it is a person who you care about. This can sometimes lead to a person trying to hide that they are hurt and keep their emotions hidden which is unhealthy. The best thing to do is avoid them as much as possible. Give them no reason to bother you. If they are someone who is close to you and/or difficult to avoid, confront them. Sometimes, people need to be confronted and told to stop in order for them to take you seriously. Often, this shows that you are not weak and capable of standing up for yourself.
Anonymous
July 16th, 2015 5:34am
Stand up for yourself. Be honest an tell him or her how you feel about being treated this way and make sure to protect yourself
Tejash
July 19th, 2015 3:49am
You don't. You are the master of your faculties, the captain of your own ship. No one can control you, you choose how you feel when someone is trying to bring you down. You can choose to be hurt and feel victimised, or laugh it off and realise that life has so much more to offer than a few sullen grouses :) have a great day ahead!
Emily619
July 22nd, 2015 3:11pm
You can stop someone from hurting you when they dont even care about your feelings by telling a close friend about it, or by blocking them out of your life.
Rojoe
July 23rd, 2015 12:22am
Love yourself enough not to let them. Know that you are the bigger person and ignore as much of thir negative behavior as possible and reward the positive. set boundaries. put your foot down.
AnnCB83
July 30th, 2015 3:00pm
When we feel hurt by someone, it can be very easy to try and focus on how we can change their behavior, so the pain will stop. Unfortunately, we can't make anyone else change. Fortunately, we can change our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. First we can examine our thoughts, and see if the way we are thinking about how they are relating to us is rational or irrational. Are we projecting our biases, our wounds, or our past on to them? If we know that they are indeed acting in a way that isn't caring, we can move on to our feelings. This step is pretty easy, because obviously someone treating us poorly and not caring about us feels painful! Finally, we have to decide about how we are going to change our own behavior. Have we verbally told the person how they are making us feel? Have we set up boundaries of what kind of behavior we'll tolerate from others and what behavior is a deal breaker? Finally, it may be painful, but sometimes the best thing we can do to show ourselves compassion and caring is to cut toxic people out of our lives. We can't change how people treat us, but we can teach them how to treat us. Whether they pass or fail is on them.
brightJuhi
August 2nd, 2015 9:43am
i really don't know how people don't care about other people's feeling i went through this so many times .for me its like its my habit to hurt myself but m now totally out of it you know why cause i never control my emotion when i felt weak i let my self feel to weak but step by step m tired to feel weak i have accepted all of these don't care stuff and let them win and said my self "its ok juhi whatever happend to me its totally injusticefull or wrong.its ok they won over me i have forgiven them nd let them go from my life".i just make myself calm to this cause its only a part of life not life.so don't pressure yourself to fight with it just accept what just happend.
JustineElizabeth
August 6th, 2015 1:52pm
Most things in life we cannot control, but one thing we can always control are our thoughts, feelings, and reactions to things surrounding us.
Lovetheearthandyourself
August 6th, 2015 8:55pm
The best thing to do in a situation where someone is being hurtful is to distance yourself from them. You can also try to have an open conversation with them regarding the issue.
Mortley88
August 8th, 2015 1:41am
It sounds like there is exactly one - neither two nor zero - people that you can control in this situation. You are already aware of this other person's lack of empathy, and you know what it does to you. You can explain what happens to them, using "I" language (for example, "I feel hurt when you do/say _____) or avoid contact with them, if possible.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2015 12:38pm
From my experience the best way is cut off toxic people. Sometimes you must think about yourself. It this person makes you feel down you should consider is this person should be a guest in your life.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2015 3:07am
Distance yourself from them and surround yourself with people who treat you with kindness. If they don't care then they don't deserve to be in your life.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 5:23am
Never swallow part of yourself for somebody's sake... there happiness isn't defined by you being a certain type of way. There the bigot while you get to smile at them and say I am who I am. It's a matter of accepting yourself... if they have an issue, its there issue not yours. Hence Being offended is kaw kaw and further more makes respect a void concept.
KeepLookingUp
August 13th, 2015 1:50am
You can't control other people's actions. You can't stop them from doing what they're doing, but you can change how you let it affect you. You have to find a way to avoid letting their actions/words from hurting you. Put on emotional armour, and don't let your guard down around this person.
outgoingPlum171
December 17th, 2015 12:45am
Personally, I would distance myself from that person. Everyone's feelings should be valued and everyone's feelings are relevant. If they don't care about what you're feeling, you should try to avoid those kinds of people. They will only bring you down.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 12:11am
It's hard to not listen to someone who is hurting your feelings. The best thing to do is to remind yourself that he/she is only one person in a world of others that will always have an opinion. At the end of the day - if they are hurting you and don't care, it's their loss (just say "See ya!"). A lot of the time people who are mean to others are looking for a reaction or are lashing out about something that they have going on personally. You deserve better than someone putting you down...always!
Sxcialcasualty
December 18th, 2015 3:24am
you need to cut that person out of your life if they are harmful and negative to your mental health
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 7:34pm
If someone has no regards for your feelings/emotions, it is simply just toxic to give them the power to hurt you; You should shut that person out of your life. "Happiness is a choice" :) Speaking from personal experience of course..
Anonymous
December 24th, 2015 8:45am
If this person is someone you are in a relationship with then the best and in a lot of cases the only way is to leave them. Just drop them. You don't need them in your life, and they don't deserve an amazing and awesome human being like you :)
QueenOfGoats98
January 1st, 2016 7:14pm
This is always a tricky situation because you do not want to be rude, but you still wish to get the point through. First of all, telling them to stop might work. Simply go up to them, preferably in private at first and ask them politely to stop doing whatever is hurting you. Second, remove them from your life: if they are a so-called "friend', tell your other friends that you do not wish to go to events with that person, nicely explaining the situation. If they are on social media: even easier as you can block and/or mute them. Third method, tell superiors! If they are co-workers, you should go see the boss and nicely explain the situation (if they do not do anything, they aren't doing their job). If they are classmates, see the teacher of the principal. You can always get help from others but remember: the point is not to be rude to them back, it is to get them to stop being rude to you.
primeofriver18
January 2nd, 2016 9:06am
Someone can hurt you if you give him / her enough space in your life. If you realize the person is not concerned about your feelings, don't give him / her much space. And most important, try not to expect anything from such people and relying up on them.