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How can I tell someone how I'm feeling without looking silly or weak?

179 Answers
Last Updated: 01/18/2021 at 5:51pm
How can I tell someone how I'm feeling without looking silly or weak?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Traci Seery, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Are you living your best life? My style is collaborate, supportive and compassionate. Together, we will develop goals that produce positive results to make your life better.

Top Rated Answers
May 15th, 2015 3:18pm
Sharing your feelings isn't something that is silly or weak - there is incredible strength in being vulnerable.
May 23rd, 2015 10:33am
Some times I find it can be a lot about picking the right time and staying calm, a time when you're both able to give each other full attention - and/or also when the feeling or emotion is relevant. If it's a smaller thing, as soon as possible is a good time, and calmly stating "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I am feeling [x]" or "Hey, you know that thing that happened/you did. I just feel really {x}". And leave it, you don't have to fight with someone about how 'reasonable' your feelings are, if the person tries to justify or excuse or refute how you feel or the situation, just stay calm - repeat what you said i.e "I understand what you're saying, but it still made me feel [x] and it's important to me you know" and then consider closing down the conversation (i.e "Okay, I don't want to fight about this, I just needed to let you know how I am feeling.") It's never weak or stupid or silly to communicate who something has made you feel, but trying to stay calm and on point will help prevent it from turning it into a fight or leaving you open to being put down or invalidated.
June 7th, 2015 10:51pm
Just go for it! Your feelings are never weak or silly and seeing as many people can never activly express how they're feeling, you're being the strong person here!
September 27th, 2015 9:04pm
Just tell them. The only way to feel better is to talk to someone. No matter how silly yo seem to them.
October 24th, 2015 8:38pm
You first have to trust the person and you can bring up the situation and tell them about your feelings along with it, like if your friend isnt talking to you and you're feeling ignored or betrayed. You can bring it up as "hey you havent been talking to me lately and i'm feeling kind of betrayed"
- Expert in Managing Emotions
November 6th, 2015 2:15am
Telling someone honestly how you feel is not silly nor week its being honest. Honestly is hard to come by these days.
November 15th, 2015 4:13am
Finding support online through 7 cups of tea is a great way to talk about your feelings while maintaining your privacy.
December 20th, 2015 9:20pm
Convey your thoughts in a calm and delicate manner. Even though your feelings are something that might be having a hard time controlling, you have the capability to assess how you feel and transmit that way however you want. You are not weak for showing how you feel. If anything, you are brave for doing instead of keeping it all bottled up.
January 2nd, 2016 1:27am
Telling the truth about how you feel is the bravest and strongest thing you can do for yourself, if the person you are telling can't see that then maybe their opinion shouldn't matter very much. However, telling the truth about how you are feeling is also one of the hardest things we do because we DO care about what others think. People are more likely to accept what you are saying if you are direct, honest, and unapologetic, don't be sorry for what you are saying. Setup a time where you won't be interrupted, if possible, and make sure you have their attention. Make it about you, not them. Say "I feel..., I am..." etc. Be clear about what you want to change and how that change could happen. You can do it! Good luck :)
February 12th, 2016 7:12am
Telling someone how you feel doesn't inherently make you look silly or weak; that's a perception that exists only in your mind, and maybe potentially in the mind of someone else. However, it could also be the case that in the mind of the other party you don't look silly or weak at all. Ultimately, you can't control how you look in the other person's mind, but you can try seeing yourself in a neutral or positive light in your own eyes.
August 14th, 2017 1:29am
Ask first if they're available to talk about something serious. I personally don't think the bravery of asking for help or coming out with your feelings is weak or silly in any way, but sometimes people don't understand and that's why my advice would be to ask first if they'd be okay to listen.
June 30th, 2015 4:50am
In face to face encounters, taking a moment to acknowledge that we all have basic shared needs can relieve us of the notion that "I am alone." The self-critical voice of our own mind tells us we look silly or weak. Is that helping us meet basic need? That you can see for yourself, but the need to understand and to be understood is undoubtedly one of our most powerful universal needs. If we request someone to listen in that mood, such a life-affirming request can make both us and the listener feel more wonderful. If I'm shy to speak face to face, there are always trained non-judgmental listeners on this site who are happy offer emotional support, and no one can see me if I get embarrassed!
July 27th, 2015 7:05am
The ability to be open about emotions, in my opinion, the opposite of weak. To admit when you feel upset, nervous, happy, etc. is not an attribute many have in this age and it's quite the breath of fresh air for the people around you to understand and know what you're feeling.
August 3rd, 2015 7:18pm
Talk to someone you trust or who trusts you. Those who care about you will not judge you based on how you're feeling. Those that do aren't meant having around.
August 21st, 2015 8:45pm
It's difficult to let people know of your feelings. It can make you feel vulnerable. If you want to share your feelings be confident. State your feelings with nonchalance.
September 17th, 2015 3:18am
Explain to them about how hard it was to tell them in the first place; it takes courage to expose one's feelings, after all. If your friends think that it's silly or weak to talk about how you feel, you really should reconsider who your friends are.
September 17th, 2015 3:06pm
I don't think you can ever feel silly or weak for sharing your feelings! I think you are extremely strong for wanting to tell someone how you are feeling! You will never look stupid or weak for telling people how you will feel
September 18th, 2015 8:54am
Telling someone how you feel is a very big step to more things to come, or not. Telling this person should come scary at first but if the person is respectful and right for you then they will accept your feelings and exchange them for their own. If they do not feel the same try not to be bummed, instead look at this as another opportunity to find the right person that you were meant to be with all along.
September 19th, 2015 12:46pm
Tell them that, is very important for them not to judge you and for them to understand you because this mean a lot you for them to understand
September 20th, 2015 2:00am
Just be honest and true to yourself, that's what matters, and it's the point where real help and healing begin.
September 23rd, 2015 4:28am
Anytime you admit your feelings to someone, you yourself are strong. If you speak with confidence and speak from your heart truthfully, it will be very difficult for someone to see you as silly or weak.
September 23rd, 2015 10:31am
I think you need to talk about it confidently and try not to sutter and maybe you can practice what you want to talk about first with yourself on mirror ?
September 24th, 2015 5:01pm
You can tell someone how you're feeling without seeming silly/weak by telling a close friend, and just speaking on what is on your mind. They will understand, don't worry.
September 25th, 2015 3:19am
Simply - tell someone who won't call you silly or weak. I never will, our listeners never will, and if you have no one else to tell, then at the very least your feelings are welcome here. No feeling is silly or weak, and to me, at least, you will always look stronger for being able to say it.
September 26th, 2015 3:33pm
Expressing your feelings takes courage and strength. It is never silly nor weak.Believing otherwise is an unreasonable fear based on an overestimation of the likelihood of something bad happening, an exaggeration of the consequences, and underestimation of our ability to cope. So you have to check your thoughts.. Don't let fear dictate your life and instead of dread, try being curious in these new scenarios and use your coping skills. It's not about being free of fear at the beginning, but enduring and walking forward despite of the fear.
September 27th, 2015 12:43am
Your feeling are not silly or stupid, if the person cares about you then they won't see you this way
September 27th, 2015 4:26pm
By knowing that you're not, the ability to open up to anyone is one of the bravest and strongest things you can do, know how you feel is not wrong and you are strong enough to be taking steps to help yourself
October 22nd, 2015 2:34am
Speak how you truly feel and don't let other's opinions bring you down, you are your own person and everything you feel is meaningful.
October 22nd, 2015 6:19am
You will have to be honest with them and understand that the fear that you have does not necessarily mean you will look silly or weak.
October 22nd, 2015 1:26pm
Tell your best friend or someone you trust. they will never find you silly, they are always here for you