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How do I keep myself from overreacting?

187 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 1:02pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
Mahnur
December 26th, 2018 3:29am
This is my favorite question I think and I love to answer it. We all have feeling of love, arousal, anger, curiosity, feeling of loneliness, happiness, state of shock etc etc. In human body these feelings are produce in response to a stimilus. For example some one says you have a terrible nose. What will you feel ? Angry ? Humiliated ? Sad ? Depressed ? You won't think a second and you will break the other person nose. These feelings your body produces will only remain 4_7 minutes, and within 4_7 minutes your body will come back into normal position so all we have to do is to manage these 4_7 minutes. We can do this simply by staying silent and get our head involve in an activity. A question. If our body normalises in 4_7 mint. Why we see people angry/sad/hyper etc all the time. Well what will happen if you add fuel to burning fire ? Same is the case these people will never let their mind to calm and stabilize they keep thinking and those feeling will be permanent and will become a part of their personality. So try to manage thoes 4_7 minutes.
xSarahlynnx
January 12th, 2019 9:48pm
Learn coping skills, here are a few that I use. Pause. Start becoming mindful of your emotions, any emotions as they come and pause before deciding what action you want to take. Most of the time our instinct is going to be the wrong reaction, it is always self seeking-self serving. It isn't who we really are its just the animal inside of us that wants to react first. H.A.L.T. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? These are things that hide in our subconscious and we don't see them right away and other outside influences on top of these feelings are a recipe for disaster. Learn your body and when these pop up do something to fix it .
MyFreedom2
February 1st, 2019 1:22am
You can keep yourself from overreacting by making a habit to notice when you're experiencing overreacting. If this something you're struggling with it won't happen in the first time. Let's say you're getting frustrating when someone argues with you and you become aggresive. You should learn to notice when it accures and try to be mindful and see how can you change this situation. If you don't know how a healthy response looks like try to search for the methods online, youtube, or maybe even 7cups! So 2 main things to avoid overreacting: mindfullness and information. Good luck with that!
ToriSOS
February 22nd, 2019 7:18pm
I find it best to take a few deep breaths before I react to a situation, to give myself time to relax and formulate an appropriate and constructive response. The deep breaths also help me get to a better place mentally, since breathing exercises have been proven to work in lowering your heart rate and thus, allowing you to think with a clearer mind. I try not to respond when my adrenaline is high, and instead do these breaths and wait until I'm using my head more than my fight or flight response. We can't control others, only the way we ourselves respond!
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2019 6:02pm
Overreacting is normal it happens all the time to me at least so no need to beat your self over about it. To keep your self from it overreacting you should just reanalyse the situation ask yourself why are you reacting this way? is it worth your time? Try to change your perspective and to find the good in the situation try to change the viewpoint and rethink it through from other angles, step back and look at the big picture and always remember Sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us but if you work to have some control over your mental state, you can learn to react more positively in difficult situations
Anonymous
April 17th, 2019 8:51pm
I always ask myself if whatever the situation is will still be affecting me in 5 years, because if it is not then there is no reason to spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. For me this helps me to keep things in perspective because I often find myself getting frustrated in minor situations that I later realize were not as serious as I initially believed they were. For example, I got annoyed with a friend of mine because we were in a group project but I had to do all of the work myself. At first I was really irritated but then I realized that in five years even if I had gotten a zero on the assignment it would not matter. Do you think this situation is like yours?
comfortablePeace23
April 21st, 2019 12:21am
Breathe and reflect. I used to overreact because I wouldnt take the time to pause, breathe and look at the issue from all angles and perspectives. It's important to look at things from all perspectives and not just our own. I also ask myself before reacting if the reaction is worth the potential consequence. Especially if the overreaction is in anger which has the tendency to push people away. The last thing is to ask yourself how serious this particular thing is in the grand scheme if things. We tend to think only in the "right now" and impulsively react without projecting how tomorrow it may not be so pressing, but our reaction sometimes cannot be taken back. Once you look at all of these things, you have given yourself the tools to react more appropriately to the scenario.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2019 2:30pm
Just stay calm and weight out all of your options, like a pro and cons list. If you need to make a quick decision choose the one that will benefit you and everybody around you the most. Just always remember to stay calm and have a clear mind when making decisions, they can have a real impact on your life. These are some tips I use to keep myself from overreacting but we are all human and sometimes I do overreact but I think it's important that you try your best. Just remember, keep calm and just weight out everything including what you are going to say.
Warrior44
June 30th, 2019 11:42pm
I take a step back and pause before reacting. Removing myself from the situation and taking a break from the situation gives me time to breathe and think things through. I can ask myself "How am I feeling?", "Why do I feel this way?", "Is my response justified?" and "How do I want to move forward?". This space between the impulsive emotional response and the response I actually make is necessary for me to feel most confident in myself and know that my response is fair and balanced and justified. It can be very easy to react out of emotion which can lead to overreacting, however the time and space between the situation and your reaction can lead to a healthier conversation and a healthier relationship with others and yourself.
spookytacoqueen
July 18th, 2019 2:09am
Focusing has always been the key for me. Focusing on the issue at hand and what it truly is keeps me from overreacting. Instead of focusing on how suddenly the issue came on or how tough it is to cope with, focus on analyzing its characteristics, its reasoning, and how to cope. When I keep my thoughts and worries tidy, they seem to come out less like an overreaction or violence/anger and more like a real explanation of how I am feeling. Although overreaction is bound to happen sometimes and you shouldn't be embarrassed or faltered by it, it can be avoided. :)
katherine081902
July 28th, 2019 7:08am
I overreact a lot and I still do sometimes. The best advice I can give you about this is to take a deep breath, look at the situation and THINK about what you are going to do and the consequences before you actually do it. This does wonders for me. I have stopped myself from overreacting many times this way. It doesn't work 100% of the time but it has helped me 100% of the time whether is has stopped me from overreacting or helped me react less harshly than before. I hope this helps you out :)
Anonymous
September 18th, 2019 6:25pm
Try meditation and mindfulness. If you are sitting down get up and if you are standing sit down. Take deep breaths and analyze the situation. Remember, not all intense responses are overreactions. In some instances, a quick and extreme response is necessary to protect ourselves or our loved ones. Learn to be aware of cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are automatic thinking patterns that cause the person to distort reality. For people who have overreactions, it is typically because of negative or highly self-critical judgement that make a person feel negatively about his or herself. Identify patterns in your overreactions. Most people have "triggers," which may generate emotional overreactions. Common triggers include envy, rejection, criticism, and control. By learning more about your own triggers, you'll be more likely to control your emotional reactions to them. Check wiki how for more Try a though journal, and patterns Talk to a counselor Rationalize. Think about what just happened rationally by bringing yourself closer to objective truth rather than your subjective experience. Find a way to be compassionate and avoid personalizing what happened to you. Act. Express yourself with “I” statements, or remove yourself from the situation. If you're still upset, find a way to re-channel how you feel.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2019 2:29am
I have had an issue with overreacting for quite some time. I would always find some way to turn little, insignificant problems into something huge and out of control. I would make myself assume that there was absolutely no solution to the problem and tears would come pouring out of my eyes. It took the help of my family and friends but I was able to find a way to where my emotions would no longer control how I reacted. I took up meditation to help ease and calm my racing thoughts. I started exercising to increase endorphins within my body which make us happy in a natural way. My best suggestion for helping with overreacting is finding a therapist to talk to. My therapist has been such a huge part of my journey and progress and having her to talk to about my issues and concerns have calmed me down considerably. I can now approach every situation in a calm and content manner and I have never been happier!
ChooseHappy247
October 16th, 2019 7:47am
Always stay calm. Take deep breathes and analyze if the situation is worth getting upset about. Always try to stay level headed and work to improve your temper. It may seem easy to get angry and react fast but with a great amount of control and thought you won’t feel the need to be as upset anymore! Keep working through the temptation to react in a fast way, and always remember to breathe and think through the situation. Nothing is worth getting too upset about. Life is so very short so try to keep that in mind too :)
livelovedream
November 29th, 2019 2:54pm
Overreacting is something that often happens without us being conscious of it - is there a pattern that you notice when you are overreacting? For example, do you notice its around certain people, or in certain situations? If you can start to try and notice when you are overreacting, you can start to put together patterns. A lot of the time in therapy, you will experience cognitive behavioral therapy - where the therapist will have you talk through an instance where you behave in a certain way (aka overreacting) and then try to reflect on if you should have reacted that way or if you were overreacting. And then you reflect on what happened before that or why you think you overreacted, and try to talk about the other possibilities in that situation. (ex: if you overreact when you are talking to your mom - was that a warranted response? if it wasn't, what were you thinking about before that? did you have a stressful day? is there a pattern of conversations with mom that make you stand on guard a little more? And then what are the other possibilities? Maybe she is actually trying to tell you something important that will help you. can you take some deep breaths before responding when talking to her? ETC ETC)
bellarina74
January 31st, 2020 2:52pm
A good way to keep from overreacting is by physically taking a step backwards and then taking some time to sit down on the lounge or the sofa and look at the current situation. By stepping back you are removing yourself from the situation so you can see it from a different angle. By doing this you may see things from a different perspective. You can then approach the situation in a different way. Doing thins the same way will always give you the same outcomes. Do things differently and you will achieve a different result. There is nothing wrong with asking for help or asking for someone’s advice either. Sometimes their advice or what they have to say can enable you to see things in a whole new way.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2020 4:22pm
Stop and think about it from a different perspective if you can. Really step back though, just for a minute. If you're too worked up and you aren't able to think rationally you aren't going to make the best decisions. You need to clear you head. Taking a walk would be a good idea or listening to some music. Distract yourself for a bit if you can, until you are calm and rational. Practice self control and being mindful. When you are calm, rational, thinking clearly you'll make better decisions. Just remember to do your best to stay calm.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2020 7:07pm
Take a deep breath and step away from the situation for a moment: you may be catastrophising, or reacting to the worst possible outcome of an action, circumstance, of future situation (or a combination of all three). When you catch yourself, accept the anxious energy as a reaction. Set some time to consider: how would I help a friend in the same position? How might you comfort them? If necessary, what action might I take? Channel your energy into something active or creative that makes you happy. Reach out to someone you trust and explain how you are feeling; sharing with someone will help relieve some of the pressure you are feeling.
Anonymous
March 21st, 2020 8:21pm
Sometimes it really is hard not to overreact. Overreacting is a common response. When I overreact I take several things into consideration. One thing that I take in to consideration is asking myself if overreacting is worth it. I evaluate the situation and then reach a conclusion. Most of time I reach the conclusion that overreacting is not worth it. I find that taking deep breaths and trying to relax really helps me to not overreact. I analyze the situation before I react. Analyzing is so important because it gives you the time to react instead of overreacting in a negative way.
Anonymous
March 25th, 2020 2:41am
I myself am honestly not the best at this, but I do try, when I get into tough situations I try to distance myself enough to give myself time to breathe and think before continuing with the situation. When I feel like I’m going to overreact or when I’m starting to get overwhelmed with a tough situation I try to think it through several times from every aspect and breathe with time before continuing. Sometimes I even go to other people before continuing further because it’s safer to consult a trusted source than to just assume that you’re right and proceed in an argument.
ItsLevie
March 27th, 2020 9:40am
I try to stop myself overthinking of the situation at hand, so i would try to keep my thoughts somewhere else, do something that will take my mind off and relax,,if there is a friend i can make stories with, if there my favorite music i can listen too, or my favorite puzzle game, watch that favorite series or movie, and try to relax,,sometimes they don’t work i try not to panic and i start doing exercise this normally works and its double benefit the more i feel overreacting the more i workout the more calories i burn,,in the end i feel double great and hit shower and try to have some sleep,,It works like a magic
Anonymous
April 24th, 2020 12:07am
take some deep breaths. It can help when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself is this really as big as it is in my head? Taking a step back can really help when you want to keep your self from over reacting and turning things in to bigger deals then they really are! Over reacting is some thing that i my self struggle with but i have learned that I have to take a couple deep breaths before i go and react. that has also really helped me keep my self from over reacting.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2020 7:05am
There are two kinds of overreactions: external and internal. External overreactions are visible responses that others can see (for example, lashing out in anger, throwing your hands up and walking away from a situation). Internal overreactions are emotional responses that remain inside of you that others may or may not be aware of. Examples of internal overreactions are replaying a situation over and over in your head, wondering if you said the right thing, or overanalyzing a comment made by a friend or loved one. Remember, not all intense responses are overreactions. In some instances, a quick and extreme response is necessary to protect ourselves or our loved ones. I recall a time years ago when my oldest child was a toddler riding his trike down the street. He was riding ahead of me because I was pregnant and a lot slower than usual. I noticed a car slowly backing out of a driveway as my son was riding toward the driveway. I found myself sprinting toward the car, screaming at the top of my lungs with arms flailing frantically, trying to get the driver’s attention and avoid a horrible tragedy. Luckily, the driver noticed me and stopped her car just short of my son and his bike. My exaggerated response was necessary to save his life and was not an overreaction.
laneylistening
April 29th, 2021 3:07pm
Your emotions are valid. Overreacting is a tricky term, I am not a big fan of it because I have been told I have overreacted before when I felt like my emotions were valid. Its not a good feeling. However, if you do feel as though your emotions are out of control, I would suggest seeing a doctor. Doctors can refer you to therapists that can talk to you about why you are feeling as though you are overreacting to certain situations. Nothing is wrong with that. Doctors are there to help, so we should use them!!! Sending light and joy :)
lilruben1960
July 8th, 2021 8:00pm
Many people overreact because they are reacting to current situations based on past experiences consider mindfulness techniques to ground yourself so that you can start experiencing the current moment for what it is not for what it was. This way we begin to see the situation as a new one not merely repeating the past emotions that were experienced in a similar situation. Many of us have experienced trauma in their life sometimes repeated situations where trauma was experienced especially where the person came from an abusive family. Reliving old situations is not fun and can be detrimental to your emotional and physical health.
RayniLayne13
June 19th, 2021 6:30pm
Sometimes an over-reaction seems to go hand-in-hand with an impulsive reaction. When feeling the impulse to react, sometimes stepping aside (figuratively or literally) and taking a few breaths can make a huge difference. Those few seconds seem to help level out those initial emotions. Sometimes you have to go a little further and self-examine. Why is this causing such a strong reaction? Would I be feeling the same way under any other circumstance? Are the pressures of today affecting my ability to rationalize or process this situation like I would any other day? Breaking down the thoughts associated with the feelings and reaction, can sometimes help provide clarity or perspective to the situation. Everyone will have a different way that works best for them, but these ways have been most effective for me, personally.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2021 11:18am
You can take extra time to think about what's happening. You almost never have to respond to something right away. Give it a day. Try to identify what sensation you have when you have overreacted in the past. Wait until you don't have that feeling before responding (when possible, sometimes you have to respond right away). If you have to respond right away, try to ask for additional time if you can, so you can avoid overreacting in the moment. If you can't get more time for the situation, then try to react normally, then review what you could do better next time so you are prepared.
Dwinn
May 5th, 2021 7:50pm
Overreacting often happens out of an effect. Often we do not even notice what we are doing and only realize it afterwards. We do it to draw attention to ourselves, but also because the other person is important to us. A mother who screams when her child is lost in the supermarket only does it out of fear. Often you react faster than you think. If you realize later that you overreacted, it is important to admit it and not just hope that it is forgotten. You should say why you reacted that way and that you are sorry. It is also often so that one overreacts only with certain people. For example, if a friend drops something, it is different than if a very old or young person does the same. So if you recognize a situation in which you already know that you are very upset, you should simply be aware of who is standing in front of you. Because often it is just a person who wants to be respected and certainly has a reason to act the way they do. You just have to take a little more time and under no circumstances should you start shouting. Just try to count slowly before the conversation begins. Up to three is enough to become aware of many more things than you perceive at first glance.
Gabrielleeee1105
May 2nd, 2021 10:58pm
Try and take many deep breaths and think about the outcome of the situation once it’s over. If you are upset try not to live too much in the moment and focus on the things that make you very happy. Try and walk away from the situation. Remind yourself that you are a good person and you don’t deserve any negativity. Remind yourself over and over again that you don’t want to make the situation worse, therefore focus on the outcome of the situation. Think positive thoughts. Try and distract yourself by thinking about your favorite movie or show.
Anonymous
March 11th, 2021 9:03pm
Get moving Exercise is probably the last thing you want to do when your mind’s in overdrive. You may worry about post-workout soreness and being unable to walk or sit for the next two days. Or your mind might go to the worst-case scenario and you fear overexerting yourself and having a heart attack. But in reality, exercise is one of the best natural antianxiety solutions. Physical activity raises endorphins and serotonin levels to help you feel better emotionally. And when you feel better on the inside, your entire outlook improves. And because your brain can’t equally focus on two things at once, exercise can also take your mind off your problems. Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity three to five days a week. Don’t think you have to struggle through a painful workout. Any type of movement is good, so put on your favorite jam and move around the house. Or grab a mat and break out into your favorite yoga poses.