Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I keep myself from overreacting?

187 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 1:02pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 21st, 2021 8:48am
Take a break and suggest someone else to handle it. Write it in a diary. Do my best to try series of activities to distract my head. That would be all. I hope to also get into dancing, singing and any exercise that may help to distract me and keep me positive. It helps to count my breath to 5. I want to be better for people around me and I want them to be raised in a safe environment without emotional abuse and I need to set me as an example. That’s all I want. Hope things work that way.
Sean2k11
October 21st, 2021 4:09am
I know you may hear it all the time but Stop,breath and then think! What I ask myself is “Do I have all the details?” And also “Will this problem be worth reacting to in 5 weeks,5 months or even 5 years “ after that time will it even matter! It’s ok to get overwhelmed by emotion! However if you do over react don’t beat yourself up over about it! We are humans so we of course are going To react to certain situations differently and more intensely depending on the details and situation! Thank you for reading this answer!
fantasticPower9685
August 6th, 2021 3:48am
The moment you know you are having an emotional overload step back and don't do anything. Give yourself time to calm down - either by deep breathing, drinking some water, filling your head with some joyful memories... Once you have calmed down, think of anyone who you think always behaves in the most appropriate way in all situations. Ask yourself how they would behave and whether you want your response to be the same. With practise it will become second nature to wait for some time before you respond. most regrettable actions are made when we are overwhelmed with negative emotions. Just an awareness of that can be a step forward.
Anonymous
July 17th, 2021 2:06pm
When in a situation where you feel like your reaction may an overreaction stop and take a breath. Analyze how youre feeling in that moment and how your reaction may affect your self or others. After taking these steps and you still feel like your reaction is an overreaction try to rationalize how you are feeling. Rationalizing your feelings may help others or yourself understand why you might react the way you do in certain situations. Sometimes you may feel like you have overreacted when just expressing your emotions so try not to be so hard on yourself and know that there is always room for improvement!
bubblingBreeze14
July 16th, 2021 3:00pm
In simple words "mindfulness" is the key. It's easier to get lost in ones own thoughts. If not controlled well there's a big tendency to be caught up with overreacting. As mentioned before, in order to stop overreacting [according to my point of view of course] following these steps would suffice. 1- Let yourself know that it's ok to overreact sometimes and you can fix that. 2- When you feel like you would overreact ask yourself "Should i be concerned of this so much?" and "is it worth my time and energy?" 3- Tell yourself you've got this and you can stop overreacting because you know what's important and what's not. For the long run, trust yourself and be proud of what you've achieved. After all you are your first friend. You deserve everything good.
lilruben1960
July 8th, 2021 8:00pm
Many people overreact because they are reacting to current situations based on past experiences consider mindfulness techniques to ground yourself so that you can start experiencing the current moment for what it is not for what it was. This way we begin to see the situation as a new one not merely repeating the past emotions that were experienced in a similar situation. Many of us have experienced trauma in their life sometimes repeated situations where trauma was experienced especially where the person came from an abusive family. Reliving old situations is not fun and can be detrimental to your emotional and physical health.
RayniLayne13
June 19th, 2021 6:30pm
Sometimes an over-reaction seems to go hand-in-hand with an impulsive reaction. When feeling the impulse to react, sometimes stepping aside (figuratively or literally) and taking a few breaths can make a huge difference. Those few seconds seem to help level out those initial emotions. Sometimes you have to go a little further and self-examine. Why is this causing such a strong reaction? Would I be feeling the same way under any other circumstance? Are the pressures of today affecting my ability to rationalize or process this situation like I would any other day? Breaking down the thoughts associated with the feelings and reaction, can sometimes help provide clarity or perspective to the situation. Everyone will have a different way that works best for them, but these ways have been most effective for me, personally.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2021 11:18am
You can take extra time to think about what's happening. You almost never have to respond to something right away. Give it a day. Try to identify what sensation you have when you have overreacted in the past. Wait until you don't have that feeling before responding (when possible, sometimes you have to respond right away). If you have to respond right away, try to ask for additional time if you can, so you can avoid overreacting in the moment. If you can't get more time for the situation, then try to react normally, then review what you could do better next time so you are prepared.
Dwinn
May 5th, 2021 7:50pm
Overreacting often happens out of an effect. Often we do not even notice what we are doing and only realize it afterwards. We do it to draw attention to ourselves, but also because the other person is important to us. A mother who screams when her child is lost in the supermarket only does it out of fear. Often you react faster than you think. If you realize later that you overreacted, it is important to admit it and not just hope that it is forgotten. You should say why you reacted that way and that you are sorry. It is also often so that one overreacts only with certain people. For example, if a friend drops something, it is different than if a very old or young person does the same. So if you recognize a situation in which you already know that you are very upset, you should simply be aware of who is standing in front of you. Because often it is just a person who wants to be respected and certainly has a reason to act the way they do. You just have to take a little more time and under no circumstances should you start shouting. Just try to count slowly before the conversation begins. Up to three is enough to become aware of many more things than you perceive at first glance.
Gabrielleeee1105
May 2nd, 2021 10:58pm
Try and take many deep breaths and think about the outcome of the situation once it’s over. If you are upset try not to live too much in the moment and focus on the things that make you very happy. Try and walk away from the situation. Remind yourself that you are a good person and you don’t deserve any negativity. Remind yourself over and over again that you don’t want to make the situation worse, therefore focus on the outcome of the situation. Think positive thoughts. Try and distract yourself by thinking about your favorite movie or show.
laneylistening
April 29th, 2021 3:07pm
Your emotions are valid. Overreacting is a tricky term, I am not a big fan of it because I have been told I have overreacted before when I felt like my emotions were valid. Its not a good feeling. However, if you do feel as though your emotions are out of control, I would suggest seeing a doctor. Doctors can refer you to therapists that can talk to you about why you are feeling as though you are overreacting to certain situations. Nothing is wrong with that. Doctors are there to help, so we should use them!!! Sending light and joy :)
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2021 5:52pm
This was a question that I struggled with for awhile while I was growing up. The best thing I do to overcome this challenge is stopping to think. I press pause on everything, take some deep breaths, and think about what it is I can do to better handle the situation in front of me. Sometimes stopping to analyze the situation can help you calm down and see things clearly before making a decision you may regret later. I made many rash decisions growing up from overreacting that hurt me and my personal connections with people that could have been avoiding by simply stopping to think.
Anonymous
March 11th, 2021 9:03pm
Get moving Exercise is probably the last thing you want to do when your mind’s in overdrive. You may worry about post-workout soreness and being unable to walk or sit for the next two days. Or your mind might go to the worst-case scenario and you fear overexerting yourself and having a heart attack. But in reality, exercise is one of the best natural antianxiety solutions. Physical activity raises endorphins and serotonin levels to help you feel better emotionally. And when you feel better on the inside, your entire outlook improves. And because your brain can’t equally focus on two things at once, exercise can also take your mind off your problems. Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity three to five days a week. Don’t think you have to struggle through a painful workout. Any type of movement is good, so put on your favorite jam and move around the house. Or grab a mat and break out into your favorite yoga poses.
LaurenJSE
January 14th, 2021 5:44pm
Pause and take a breath. It will be easier to control the intensity of your reaction if you slow down and allow yourself to gather your thoughts. It might feel like it's important to respond right away at that moment but you'll feel more in control if you wait. The longer you wait, you might find that there's less you feel the need to say. Make sure you understand what the person is trying to convey. If they have said something offensive, remember that it's only their opinion and it doesn't mean that it's true. Keep in mind that you're in control of what happens next. When you're ready to respond, speak at a lower volume because being mindful of your volume can help prevent your reaction from being too strong. It might be helpful to keep your response short and to-the-point and then you can let it go and move forward from there.
Unlockingpanic69
December 31st, 2020 4:17am
You need to calm your self step back from the situations that you say your overreacting find out what’s triggers are and go from there this is a life saver in early stages of issuers like this that way you don’t get over stressed and also you will be better equipped to handle the situations that you say your over reacting about try doing some exercises that calm your mood that way you don’t get so worked up it’s bad for your health to get like this maybe signs of something else early signs though just breathe take slow
Trivi12
August 26th, 2020 10:03am
To keep yourself from overreacting it is important to give your self time, the best way is to count till 10 before reacting to anything. A lot of times when something happens are instant reactions seems to be heated, if we take a moment to think about it, our body and mind gets some time to come back to a state of equilibrium, in this state we can make decisions and rationally. Just a matter of few seconds can make all the difference. It is also important to try and understand why you overreacted or when is it that you feel you often overreact- try to find any patterns, and if you see any similarity, avoid entering into that particular situation or talk to a therapist on how you can deal with that situation.
Chaplain1988
May 23rd, 2020 6:55am
I take part in stoic exercises to train myself to not overreact. I always take time at the end of the day to review and track what I have done and ask myself honestly if I handled that situation well or if I could perhaps have done better. I also regularly do an awareness exercise. every once in a while I stop and just say to myself "I am aware of...." then say "I am aware that I am feeling....." this helps me to stay on track and helps me to keep from letting my emotions get out of control and cause me to overreact. Perhaps these simple exercises could help.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2020 5:38pm
I have learnt to think before acting, and calm my mind and thoughts. I also tell myself that there is no point in doing it, it is not worth it this time, it will only make things get worse. Keeping myself calm all the time helps a lot. I have never been like this, but I learnt to. The conversation you have with yourself at that moment is very helpful and powerful. Take a deep breath, and repeat that it's not worth it. Overreacting get things toxic in both your relationship with the other person and your relationship with yourself.
Ava1122
June 19th, 2020 7:16am
Delaying your response to something often helps. Our immediate reaction is not often our final one because often we're looking through a lens that is made blurry by our thoughts and feelings about something. Make no action or response to something until you are not rushing through it because when you are, you're ONLY writing out your blurry lens opinion. For example, Someone has sent a infuriating text to me. My initial reaction would be writing paragraphs of response to them telling them why they are wrong or that I'm angry and they're being horrible. Chances are I'd saw some awful things and would harm my relationship with that person. My rule for this situation is I either need to sleep first and respond the next day or afternoon after I have completely gathered my thoughts, Or I try to respond but if I can't write slowly or it gets emotional, then I rewrite, or stop and answer in a few hours. It's a little harder in person. In that case it's not rude to ask for some time to process what they've said and tell them that you're wanting to respond rationally to them.
Shoko4917
June 20th, 2020 8:39am
This depends greatly on how you define over-reacting. When a stressful event occurs is it more of a emotional reaction where you know it isn’t the end of the world but you can’t control your emotional response? Putting things into perspective can be very difficult, and especially frustrating when you know you are over-reacting but don’t know how to calm down. You also need to know that even if not everyone experience an event in the same way, that does not make your perspective any less real. There is no need to be ashamed of how you feel about a particular thing because our emotions dictate how significant an event truly is. Breathing Exercises Have helped me calm myself during a stressful event in the past. I would also suggest talk therapy if you have access to it. There is nothing more relieving than having an expert tell you you’re not crazy! Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Anonymous
June 26th, 2020 6:16pm
In situations where I start to feel anger or frustration, I try to catch those feelings as fast as I can. I used to always show those reactions in a negative way and overacted many times. Once I started to understand myself a bit more, I became more mature in the way I handled situations. For example, someone I knew before did something that left me rattled and quite mad. Although my initial reaction was to stay mad and not talk to that person, I caught myself. I took a couple minutes for myself to calm down, and I calmly approached that person to explain why I had reacted that way, apologized for the rash behavior, and asked how she felt so that I understood her perspective as well. There may be many times when we feel as though we are overreacting, but over time we can be able to understood our emotions as well as others' in order to keep a healthy environment.
shadowlove2
July 3rd, 2020 3:54pm
I think the most important thing to remember is that your feelings are valid, and to accept your feelings instead of beating yourself up over them! It may help to write your feelings down, either on paper, to a listener, or to a friend, and see if they seem as realistic on paper or on a screen. Grounding techniques also help me a ton when my thoughts are getting out of control. Try naming 5 things you can hear, 5 things you can see, and 5 things you can touch. It grounds you in the present moment and often helps manage those feelings.
WanderingSparrow
July 10th, 2020 9:14am
Try to think before reacting. As you are trying to stop overreacting you must have had some experience with it. Rethink about those situations and the consequences again in clear mind. Try to improvise your communication skill and your ability of expressing a feeling clearly. You will surely succeed. Sometimes our reactions depends on the person we ae dealing with. It's like, some people really don't want to understand you and yes I know a lot of them exist. You have to prearrange some tricky points to express yourself to them which will convince them the most. In that case you have to observe their personality type. Hope this will help. Best of luck.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2020 10:21am
There are two kinds of overreactions: external and internal. External overreactions are visible responses that others can see (for example, lashing out in anger, throwing your hands up and walking away from a situation). Internal overreactions are emotional responses that remain inside of you that others may or may not be aware of. Examples of internal overreactions are replaying a situation over and over in your head, wondering if you said the right thing, or overanalyzing a comment made by a friend or loved one. When you feel like flying off the handle, take a deep breath. Deep breathing slows down your fight or flight response and allows you to calm your nervous system and choose a more thoughtful and productive response. Lack of sleep, going too long without food or water, lack of recreation can leave your mind and body vulnerable to exaggerated responses. Prioritizing your own self-care will help minimize overreactions.
ethnographer
August 15th, 2020 12:14am
Hey there! It sounds like you are struggling with overreacting and want to stop. I knew I had to answer this question when I saw it because that is something I do too! I really feel for you and would like to share a few simple tips that may help you. 1. Observe: How is your body acting before you overreact? Do you feel agitated or like your heart is racing or feel hot and angry. There are many possible ways and it may take time to figure this out! 2. Pause: As you start to get in tune with those signs and you feel you might overreact by doing or saying something, pause. This may mean keeping quiet and observing more, distracting yourself with a walk, or just closing your eyes. See what works for you. As you practice pausing, it will get easier to calm yourself. 3. Reflect: Later when you feel more calm, replay what happened. How did everything turn out. Were you able to manage your emotions better? What could be done differently? What did you learn? Considering these questions will help you next time! 4. Go easy: Remember that overreacting is about emotions and feelings which are normal. If you make a mistake or so something that you regret, you can still learn from it. Be gentle with yourself. Remember: Observe, Pause, Reflect, Go Easy Best of luck on your journey. The fact that you even asked the question shows that you are thinking about yourself and showing self-awareness, a key step in managing emotions.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2020 2:58pm
Drink water. A lot of the time people confuse thirst for hunger. If you don't like plain water you can add sugar-free/calorie-free flavoring drops or powders. Choose healthier foods with lower calorie density: fruits, vegetables, chicken, white fish, eggs, legumes. Make sure you are eating correct portions (weight is more accurate than volume for most things). Eat slower. Practice mindfulness (which is good for your mental health) and pay attention to the smell, taste, texture, temperature of your food. Enjoy it. Stop eating when you are satisfied (not full). Make sure that you are actually hungry and not thirsty, bored, or emotional. If you are bored then go brush your teeth - it will distract you in the moment, and after you won't want to eat because your teeth are freshly brushed. If you are emotional then practice self-care.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2020 6:06pm
One useful way to gauge and control your reactions is to wait a period of time before reacting. Not everything requires an immediate response. If it is not a life or death situation, waiting a minute or two before responding will likely not make that big of a difference. Waiting will help you respond, rather than react. The difference is that an immediate reaction can be more like a disorganized, not-well-thought-out, more extreme kneejerk reaction, but responding is more organized, controlled, and composed. When something happens that you feel is in some way calling you to react, time yourself for a minute and a half. Let the initial rush of adrenaline and feelings drain out of you during that time. Then, when the minute and a half is up, compose your response. This should help you respond in ways more proportional to your circumstances.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2020 8:04am
go over what happened and consider all the details and why that happened. Put yourself in the other person’s position and consider their feelings and if you would have reacted in the same way. Do not make assumptions or jump to conclusions. Ask questions and try to understand. I used to overreact all the time. It became a big problem in my relationship with my S/O. I overcame it by thinking before reacting. I listened to what they had to say and considered their feelings and how they felt and thought about what happened and why it happened. I rate it in my head, “is this serious? Or is this minor? Is getting mad over this worth my time and energy? Is it worth arguing over? Is it really that important?”
sagetea
November 29th, 2020 2:42am
I believe I can best answer this question because I've struggled with overreacting and intense emotions in the past. Keeping yourself from overreacting is something one will need to practice, and by controlling your outward reactions, you are practicing calming yourself down in public. Just by continously doing and practicing this, you are training your own brain to not overreact in your own head and subconsciously, can calm down your own emotions, whether they be intense or not. However, simply expressing your emotions, feelings and needs through the moment should not be grouped with overreacting. If the person you are talking with groups those together, it is possible that person has toxic traits and in most cases would be labeled as a gaslighter as they are convincing you that your emotions shouldnt be how they are.
Natalielove250
October 4th, 2020 12:32pm
At times when it is relevant, the way in which I keep myself from overreacting is that I take deep breaths and acknowledge what it is that I’m feeling. Then I reflect on whether it is something that will bother me in a day or in a few years time. If it doesn’t seem like a long time concern then it usually calms me down knowing that the difficult feeling will pass before I know it. Another way that I deal with it is by taking myself out of the situation if it is a conversation that I know I will overreact about in the moment, so I find it’s important to take myself out of it and reflect on a better reaction.