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How to be good to yourself and to others?

150 Answers
Last Updated: 11/28/2020 at 2:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
15Kenzi
June 30th, 2019 4:27am
Just make sure that you feel good on a daily basis. Not only on the outside or health wise but also emotionally and mentally. Make sure you're stress free and happy. If you're not take some time out to make yourself stress free and happy. Try to set goals that are achievable and when you don't achieve them don't feel too bad. Cut yourself some slack. Try to enjoy everything once in a while. Go out to eat with someone , take a walk in the park , catch the latest movie or read a book. Keep in touch with family members and surround yourself with the people who love you. Make friends who are optimistic and supporting. Those who will correct you when you're wrong and help you get it right. Be with you when you need them. And please,if you can't do any one of these things doesn't mean you're not being kind to yourself. We're all human and born imperfect. As long as we accept us for who we are and what our capacity is , we'll be happy.
RhoenH
July 4th, 2019 5:47am
I always advocate for treating others the way you want to be treated, and do not give more than you can give. Be around people who make you happy. Don't surround yourself with toxic people or you will start to feel bad. Remember to always validate yourself, its easy to put yourself down, but try to say positive things to yourself, and keep doing it till you believe those things. Remember to take time for self care whenever you need it. When you take care of yourself, and conserve your energy you become a better person and you start making better friends.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2019 1:13am
Try not to hide the truth, you can try to stay as honest as possible, to yourself because then you can review and understand better, to others because then they will have all the facts so that they later won't get confused and can asses the situation themselves first, also try seeing things out of different perspectives, for example: you have a problem about what you think about a certain event, you can look at this event from a negative perspective first, then from a positive one and finally from maybe an natural perspective. You never know what you may learn!
AmethystRayne96
September 25th, 2019 4:05am
Being good to yourself and others can truly make a difference in your day. Personally, I try to take time to think about my physical and mental health, what I would like to improve and how to do so, and do the things that I truly enjoy as much as possible. Being good to others can be as simple as just being there for someone when they need to talk, a shoulder to lean on, or just a friend to have fun with. I’ve found that really getting to know a person helps me learn what I can to do help them.
Miller2019
November 7th, 2019 12:27am
If you wanna be good to yourself and others, you always have to start eith yourself. Self worth self esteem and how we look at ourself as human beeings are really effecting how we treat ourself and others, if you don't love yourself, how can you love others? if you don't treat yourself with respect, then how do you expect others to give you respect? Tell yourself that you are worth it every single day. Tell yourself that you care about you too much to make that bad decision, because you know the outcome and consequence. The ultimate gift is to give someone else a reason to smile.
Panda4202
December 4th, 2019 1:55pm
I believe it starts internally, start by loving yourself first. Understand it is human, it makes mistakes and that's okay. Forgive it. That's step 1. As for others, always remember each person has their own secret battle they're fighting, they might be going through a rough time or having a bad day and at times just giving a smile, saying goodmorning, sharing a chocolate bar or asking if they're okay can make everything better. If you keep that in mind, i believe being good to others will come out naturally. Everyone makes mistakes, its our privilege as humans to be allowed to be mistaken, to fall down and then get back up with a new kind of strength and knowledge. Spread love and forgive.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2019 12:51am
To be good to yourself, you need to learn to accept yourself and be happy with yourself. I find that learning to love yourself is truly important. We often forget to care about ourselves. Before you can be good to others you need to be happy with yourself. When it comes to others we should just treat others the way we want to be treated. We are all equal. No one in this world is more important or superior to another. No one is lower than anyone else. We were all created equally and we also need to remember we are all human.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2019 12:47pm
We can be good to ourselves by showing ourselves kindness, especially if we feel like we don't deserve it at times. We take it easy on ourselves and we do things at our own pace. We don't hold ourselves accountable for things we have not done and we try not to hold drudges against people for things that they have done. When we are truly kind and good to ourselves, being good to others comes almost naturally. Loving ourselves and appreciating who we are is the first step to loving those around us and appreciating them. Doing the things that we love is nice, but doing the things we love with those who we love is even better. There is no secret here, if we show kindness to ourselves and if we feel proud of ourselves for what we do, we are good and kinder to others.
lovelyDancer19
April 11th, 2020 9:29pm
Everybody needs a little selfishness in your life, along with being good to others. You deserve the exact happiness you give to other people, but sometimes you need to give it to yourself. Praise yourself, when you do something good give yourself a reward. Spend a little money if you need to, a $5 ice cream won’t break the bank. As for others, give everyone a nice little smile as you pass. A single smile can change someone’s mood instantly. Smiles are contagious. It also won’t hurt to ask someone how they are feeling. Not everyone is happy and some need a listener if they are struggling.
ChemistryLover
April 18th, 2020 9:01pm
I think sometimes is easier to be good to others and not to yourself. At least for me I'm a very harsh person when it comes to criticizing myself, my work and even the ways in which I react to situations. I think that we can be more critical of ourselves because we are in control of ourselves more. To be honest, it took me a while to understand the importance of being good to myself and doing so can vary by person. For me, I do activities that relax me and make me happy those activities that let me give me time for myself to grow as a person but also emotionally.
Evertonest
May 8th, 2020 6:17am
It depends on what you mean by being good to yourself and others. If you mean doing good to yourself and other people, it may be wise to 'do good' to yourself first. You can't 'do good' to others when you aren't 'doing good' to yourself. So how can you treat yourself well? You have physical, psychological, social, and spiritual needs. Fulfilling those needs would mean doing good to yourself. These needs can overlap - fulfilling your social needs can fulfil your psychological needs. To fulfil your physical needs, they can include: - Eating healthy - Drinking plenty of water - Sleeping well - Exercise Satisfying psychological needs can differ from person to perso, but can include: - Making time to wind down and do things you enjoy - Playing with your pets - Seeking support from others when you're feeling down, upset, stressed, etc. - Journalling To satisfy social needs, just do whatever you like to do to connect with others. This can include: - Being part of a community - Hanging out with friends - Hanging out with family To satify spiritual needs, you can: - Meditate - Do religious activities - Go outdoors and connect with nature There are many ways to 'be good' to other people. They can include: - Doing something nice for others - Helping strangers - Complementing others - Donating to charity - Use respectful language to others - Maintaining and respecting boundaries
NightOwl5280
May 13th, 2020 3:38am
I think that a lot of it is about perspective taking. Sometimes when I am too hard on myself I need to take a step back and think what would I say to my best friend if it was her going through this. Or what would my mom tell me if I told her I was feeling like this. Most of the time, I would be much kinder to my best friend and my mom would say something loving and supportive (I'm lucky like that, she's awesome). When it's someone else I need to be kind to, it's kind of the reverse. I try to put myself in their shoes. Sometimes that is easier than other times. I can think to myself okay that driver cut me off because they are rushing to work or just didn't notice. It's much harder when something makes a costly mistake or is rude to me. But if i can pause long enough to take a deep breath, I can usually give it my best go. And I am not always perfect about either, but forgiving myself for that is part of being goof to myself, too.
Anonymous
May 15th, 2020 1:19am
It is important to treat yourself and others kindly, everyone is fighting their own unseen battles, so it is important to try and be patience with the people around you but also with yourself. Encouragement, kind words and even just a smile can be all someone needs to help them through their day, treat yourself with this same kindness by trying to speak kindly to yourself and giving yourself a break if things do not work out. Remember everyone is doing their best, so support others where you can and give yourself time and seek support when you are struggling.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2020 2:26am
By accepting the fact that you can't control everything but you can be gentle. Take things easy. Self care is must. When we respect ourselves then only someone else can respect us. Stay hydrated, work out, cook for yourself, appreciate yourself. These are small things but truly effective. Don't let anyone bring you down. We can't control someone's actions or change the outcome but we can try our best to make things better. So, step one is to be kind to yourself & give yourself respect even if other people choose not to. If you want to be kind to others then first choose your own people because they're the closest to you. If someday you feel irritated, take a deep breath & then talk so that you're not that harsh & don't regret later. It's okay to feel things. We can't change that but we can bring positive changes in the way we talk to ourselves and other people. Try to talk to one stranger a day or help someone every week. It doesn't matter how small it is but it should be real. Take care of little things. Hope it helps. :)
VerseArt
July 25th, 2020 9:16am
You always have a choice of either being right or being kind, choose the latter, and become a better person. Being good to yourself and to others means doing things that make you and others happy. You can do them by doing small-small things like saying Hi to the person jumping in your elevator, ask a random person in the office if they need your help with something. Buy a coffee to the one who needs it. These small-small acts will not only make their day but also help you feel so much better. And just remember that you are a great person doing good things.
KittyKat0269
August 2nd, 2020 6:20pm
I have found that to be good to yourself is to nourish your mind, body and spirit. To fill it with positive energy, through meditation or other relaxation techniques. To feed the body healthy foods and to get proper rest when needed. These practices will improve your outlook which can be passed onto others to help them through any issues that come their way. It is such a beautiful gift to be able to be kind, because you will see it grow as the intended person spreads kindness onto others and makes this world a happier place. During these troubling times in our world a little kindness can sure go a long way!
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2020 5:42am
Developing compassion, and understanding I think is the best way to be good to yourself and others. The very art of learning how to listen, try to understand, and accept without judgement, and provide advice and encouragement in order to achieve positive results can change the way we think about ourselves, interact with ourselves, and everyone else. Things that can help this are metta meditation and trying to expose ourselves in small amounts to people we would normally heartily disagree with but while doing so refrain from judging and try only to listen. It can be really hard and they certainly may not be right but you can learn a lot from those kinds of practices.
ForeverAndEver123
August 22nd, 2020 7:16pm
First... be good to yourself. Treat yourself, grab yourself that cup of coffee. Make yourself breakfast. Go for a walk. Do something you are craving and that YOU and only YOU wants. Not something society has told you to do or your parents or through peer pressure... if it makes you happy and excited, then you know you are doing something good for yourself. Once you do this, the energy you emit will be the energy you attract. You will then see that you will be good with others. You can do it... I don't doubt it. Set boundaries and communicate... this is not only good for yourself but others who are around you too will be inspired be you :)
Aritraachatterjee
August 30th, 2020 2:26pm
To be good to others it needs to start with you, it will demand a better version of yourself and that will come from loving yourself, embracing who you are and the scars you have... loving yourself includes letting yourself to be free, letting your imagination flow free, exploring the paths leading towards adventure, and lastly by being you, when you will love yourself, you will see the world falling in love with you. Live life, show respect, practice gratitude, talk to strangers, read, love yourself, talk to strangers! try to help! happy living! You are amazing!
Anonymous
September 9th, 2020 8:15pm
Being good to yourself is taking care of yourself. Doing a little everyday, whether it is exercise, a hobby, resting, working. Treating yourself with respect. It is a very personal decision, and I guess it will be different for everyone. But generally I'd say doing the things that make you feel more like yourself and what makes you feel fulfilled and content. By being good to yourself, you can then take care of others. That is a whole different world, because we all think differently. Generally, just treat people with respect and dignity. Pay attention to what make others smile. Maybe to that for them once.
Magicalmoongirl
September 13th, 2020 7:19am
Sometimes doing things like community service helps you feel good about what you have done and what you are doing for others. You can always to self care things like baths, exercise, enjoying movies or music you love and any other things that help you relax. You can do some soul searching and evaluate parts about your life and your overall goals to do goodness for others in the future. You can turn to things like spirituality to find some passion for life and you can deeply think about what your purpose in life is. For others, you can reach out and simply check on people you care about whether it be family or friends or someone you have barely talked to. Letting them know you thought about them can go a long way. Send a simple message saying this and it can brighten their day. Practice the golden rule when interacting with other people- (treating people how you want to be treated in return). And always be accepting and understanding of people.
delightfulNutella2454
September 18th, 2020 11:11pm
Just look for the good in every individual no matter if their number of flaws are greater in number than their strength. Try stepping into their shoes and feel what they might be feeling at a particular situation. These are the steps to love others but in order to do that, we need to love ourselves at the first place. So simply appreciate yourself time and again. Remind yourself of all the achievements you've made no matter how trivial or how tremendous it is. Learn to love the idea of loving yourself. Being good ain't easy at all but it of course is worth it!
blissfulFlute808
September 26th, 2020 10:36pm
In my experience, I have done best learning how to be good to myself by 1 doing my best to treat others the way I want to be treated, getting feedback on what I have done well or not so well from mentors and individuals around me, and then also interviewing others about what expectation they have about how to treat them. Learning to serve others well is a skill that has been beneficial in just about every place in life. I feel that I took the most care of myself when I considered my needs and what helps keep me lively.
JediJan
September 28th, 2020 3:01pm
Being good or bad represents a category that is only binary, boring or limiting of our abilities. Regaining focus on my emotional health: I think that it is convenient for me to notice my progress, of all kinds, looking at my progress makes me Validate myself, then it is a route to abandon the "need" to have attention from others. Validating other people for their contribution to a relationship is important, it includes my words, intention, my attitudes, adjusting the quality of my agreements and apologizing contributes a lot to my human relationships. Evoke a good emotional state implies some degree of difficulty in the face of adversity, but life includes challenges, I could not expect that life is smooth and that everyone has a positive "resonance" with me, but my attitude and my human values ??do resonate with many people. Being able to see more beauty in the world makes me have more positive energy and give me health, which will make me live longer. Enjoying challenges makes me evolve.
SyedaFiyaz
October 3rd, 2020 8:51pm
be active, do exercise, eat healthily but also don't feel pressured to exercise every day or eat healthily all the time. be your own personally hype girl. treat yourself like you'd treat your friends, compliment yourself, hype yourself up - treat yourself like a queen. We teach people how to treat us by our own actions and attitude toward ourselves. By putting signs out there that you are a rescuer and will sacrifice yourself to help others, you attract the sort of people who want to be rescued and for whom it has to be all about them—not a balanced relationship.
Ashitagupta29
October 29th, 2020 4:45am
One can to good to oneself by being self-compassionate, taking good care of mental and physical health, practicing meditation and learning something new everyday. One can be good to others by being compassionate towards them, responding with calmness and maintaing peace. One should communicate with dignity and respect be it the member of any age, caste, class or society. One can be good to oneself and others if he or she is free from envy and jealousy. Always remember that healthy competition is better. Communicate with oneself through diary and always maintain communication with your loved ones. Be available for yourself, give some time to yourself and also make others feel so comfortable that they can share anything and everything with you.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2020 9:57pm
being good to yourself can take many aspects. Such as physical and mentally. you can be good to yourself by eating better and exercising. You can be good to yourself by practicing meditation or taking time in a busy day to "self care" this can mean doing something that gives you joy. As simple as listening to your favorite song or reading a few pages from your favorite book. You can be good to others by simply saying hello or offering a friendly smile. You never know what those small acts of kindness can do for someone else. It can make a big difference in their day.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 2:08am
Interact with others in a positive way, self affirmation, being good is a broad category, it can encompass a lot of things. It doesn't have to be actively doing something, it can also be the act of not doing something like not saying something mean or not thinking negative thoughts. If you want to go out of your way to do something nice for yourself, self care is a great option. And for others, a compliment and a smile or a kind gesture goes a long way to make someone's day. It's the small things that matter
Returncontrol2u
November 25th, 2020 11:27pm
It is a bit ironic that being good to yourself involves others and does not involve others also. Sometimes you gain happiness and good feelings from supporting others around you and giving of your own assets. Other times you have to separate yourself to discover the internal self you need to be. Both are good for your overall ego, but knowing which is important at the moment is usually difficult. When you are blinded by your own desires and hurts, you have a more difficult time seeing the bigger picture and how you can support the world around you. Other times you spend so much of your energy supporting others that looking yourself in the mirror seems hollow and undefined. Knowing yourself and finding ways to support others is my ideal for being a good influence in the world.
LovelyPancakes19
November 28th, 2020 2:10pm
It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more, It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more,It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more,It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more,It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more,It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more,It is very easy to be good. Start by thinking positive and spread positivity. Do small good things for other people and always remain positive. Try smiling more,