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I can't get angry at the people I care about, is there something wrong with me?

226 Answers
Last Updated: 05/01/2022 at 3:17pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Top Rated Answers
Kayaondra02
July 11th, 2018 1:11am
Usually if you care about someone you want to be there for them. You have this irrational fear of hurting them. Since you care about, and for, them you don’t want to hurt them, (make them upset) As a caring person you care about how they feel.
Belle2023
July 13th, 2018 4:00am
Their is nothing wrong with you. It’s totally normal when you feel upset or angry with your family it’s by something that happened and eventually that will go away.
Numinox
July 13th, 2018 7:52am
Absolutely not. This it might be difficult because of the ties you may hold but if you genuinely can’t get angry against a close friend or family member it is 100% A-ok!
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 12:36pm
You need to set boundary in your anger. It can help you to avoid something you dont like, something you dont want to happen with you. Showing anger is a skill to acknowledge people that you wont accept such behavior.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 3:05am
Definitely not! We all have people we care about and can relate to this when it comes to that specific someone. It's completely normal to feel this way. It's just our protective instincts working, where we are aware that things we say or do can affect others and we wouldn't want someone we care about feeling uncomfortable or somewhat sad. Maybe it's just you being very considerate of the people you care about's feelings and that's totally fine!
Anonymous
August 15th, 2018 1:43am
No, it is completely normal to care for the ones you love in such a manner. Allowing yourself the freedom to say no to others is healthy, although progress may seem slow, it is important to stand up for yourself.
LovelyNebula
August 15th, 2018 4:48am
No there is nothing wrong with you! You may be frustrated with other situations taking it out on the people you care about not meaning too. Tell your friends you do not mean to and that you care, and that there may be stuff going on which could be affecting your mood.
Zildjianknyc
August 22nd, 2018 4:05am
It is not imperative that you are able to be angry with people that you care about. However, it is important that you can maintain healthy boundaries with people in your life. When you are able to maintain healthy boundaries with people in your life, it can help minimize the situations in which you would want to be angry with someone. Avoiding the cause for anger in the first place can be far more satisfying and rewarding than developing an ability to be angry. If you are successful, you can model this behavior for others and help bring down anger and anxiety for you and your loved ones.
vanillawest88
September 6th, 2018 10:55pm
We are all human and have emotions. Anger happens to be one of them. You will normally feel better, and relieved even. Don't be ashamed of expressing a feeling that comes to all humans naturally. We have all buttons, and levels where we can become mad. it is not a given, to be happy all the time. It's even unrealistic to think you will not get mad at people you care about. I n my opinion, the people we care about know how to make us angry the most. They know you so well, so they know your buttons, and levels.
Sunset316
September 16th, 2018 1:57am
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You see, you should be blessed to have that quality within you. People around the world struggle to have something like that. Whenever some people get angry, they blow up instantly to whoever's close and in this case, it would most likely be family or friends. A few hours later, all that remains is regret. But emotional pain can't be washed away with simple 'sorry' or an apology. So, no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Getting angry at the ones you care about will only result in resentment and regret for yourself.
Kennajunespoon
September 20th, 2018 12:25am
I can assure there there nothing wrong with not getting angry or upset at the people we care for, that is your ability to be compassionate, we are all human and we all feel it. It’s a great characteristic to have! But know that it is also okay for us to feel angry at times and even feel anger and frustration towards the people that we love and care for. It doesn’t make you a bad person at all, it’s a normal human emotion to feel and it gets to the best of people. I hope that this helps!
Anonymous
October 4th, 2018 10:10am
When people have problems getting mad at the people they care about there can be many reasons for this. One reason can be that they are afraid to start conflict between them and that person. They might be afraid with how that other person might take the anger. Another reason people might avoid getting mad at people they care about is that it might cause a bigger conflict than they wanted. In that case avoiding a conflict might seem like the better route because they want to remain civil with the person rather tell them how they feel.
calmPalm17
October 12th, 2018 3:12am
I think everyone gets angry at the people they care about, partially BECAUSE they care about them so much. When we are emotionally invested in someone, it can bring up lots of intense emotions. I find that a lot of the time, anger is actually rooted in another feeling. A classic example is that when a little kid wanders into the street. The parent yells at them and is angry, but they are angry because they were scared. Another would be how people sometimes get angry when someone dies, but it's also tied up with sadness. When feeling angry at someone you care about, it can be helpful to try to identify if there is another emotion causing it. At the end of the day: no, there is nothing wrong with you. Anger is a completely natural (and sometimes very productive) emotion. What matters most is what you do with that anger, and learning how to not act on it, without trying to suppress it or pretend it's not there.
GEMINIALDRIDGE8D
October 13th, 2018 10:03pm
Not at all! I’m not an angry person at all. I rarely get angry at anyone, especially without reason. But I myself find I can never get angry at the people I care about and love. They’re only people I argue with, but I cannot get angry at them. If they do something wrong and I should be angry, I may seem agitated slightly at first, but I get more upset than angry. And if I do get annoyed, it takes an apology, sometimes not even that, for me to be in a good mood again. I’d rather never get angry at the people I care about than not have them, so I don’t hold grudges and I can’t stay angry.
Anonymous
October 25th, 2018 12:16pm
Getting angry at people I care about is a normal thing. because anger as all emotions come and go. I can not reject any of them. For the attempt to reject some of them gives rise to much anxiety. It makes us feel inadequate But inadequacy only makes sense in a sense of what is appropriate. But who else really knows? If we think about that we only know what was taught us as a truth. But what is the truth really? We thought about a lot of things that we think that is the truth. But it is of fact?
Caringmoon07
November 14th, 2018 11:50pm
Just because you find difficulty getting angry at loved ones does not mean there is something wrong with you. Everyone deals with anger in his or her own way. If you feel the approaches you are currently taking are not helpful, then you should reconsider how you solve problems where anger is involved. It is okay to try out different things as well. Just because something works for one person, does not mean it will work for you. You might find that you deal with your anger differently depending on the other person involved and that is okay, too.
Here4Anything
November 16th, 2018 3:39am
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. During my first relationship, my girlfriend would get upset at me all the time because I could never get angry with her. Sometimes love and caring is just too great for one person and it ends up so you can’t get mad. I can promise you that there is never anything wrong with you simply because you can’t get mad at anyone. Just keep being you, and doing what you feel you need to. You can try to explain to them that you can’t, but you don’t even have to do that. Just staying the way you are is helpful for everyone
SaraHoffman
December 6th, 2018 11:02pm
No. There is nothing wrong with you many people feel this way. However I would want to watch out because some people will realize that and walk all over you because they know you won't get mad.
Lemi
January 10th, 2019 6:20pm
No, there is nothing wrong with it. If you are that aware of that person's feeling and always have that 'brake' to stop you from blurt your feeling out at him/her, it just means you are just care enough about this persons feeling so you thread it carefully. But this doesnt mean you just keep silent and hold your thought when you are disagreeing with his/her , though. You try to deliver the message as best as possible without letting the emotion get the best of you. If you are doing it along this line, then no , nothing is wrong with you whatsoever.
Anonymous
January 29th, 2021 1:59pm
There is nothing wrong with you, being angry at someone you love and care about if something happened you believe they are deserving to be angered on is not a necessity. It shows that you love and truly care for them regardless of what they had done, if you think that this is a really big problem and it is interfering with your social and personal issues then I advise you to talk to your loved ones and the ones that you care about, if they understand how you are feeling and how you can't get angry, perhaps, later on, you won't find it wrong at all and find it better to not be angry and settle on arguments that could cause fights.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2021 3:10am
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Getting angry at the people you care about can lead to hurting their feelings and you could simply be trying to avoid that. But you don't have to show anger to tell these people that something is wrong. If something angers you, take some time to tell them your thoughts and how you feel about things, and how you want them to change. A conversation can get the message across without you having to show any anger. But anger is also an important emotion and if having people you care about around represses that emotion, your emotional wellbeing may be compromised.
Anonymous
April 8th, 2021 2:39pm
When you have an understanding nature and love to be there for people it can show up like that so no there is nothing wrong with you. Try to set boundaries if you feel like that's what you need to do as sometimes we let people take advantage of us and our emotions because we put them on a pedestal. How do you feel when they do something that frustrates you? Do you express these feelings to them so that they are aware? What other emotions do you feel and what actions do you take to diffuse the situation or do you just pretend it never happened?
hopefulSun5573
March 14th, 2021 10:55am
There is nothing wrong with you. It is okay to feel anger towards the people who you care about and still love them simultaneously. Just because we care for someone doesn’t mean that they cannot mess up, or we cannot feel any other emotions about them. That being said, there is nothing wrong if you do not get angry with them either. Sometimes love makes it easier to look past the errors someone is making and look at them a little more graciously. It is important to understand, however, that the people we care about can do wrong so we do not put them on a pedestal and blame them when they fall off.
Lighthouse10
March 11th, 2021 3:01pm
No, you're just a really kind and good hearted person. You are also most likely to be a type 9 on the Enneagram personality test as this type loves peace and harmony with those around them, and would go to great length to achieve it. However although it might just indicate that you have a heart of gold, it is important to learn to set boundaries so you can protect yourself from being taken advantage of, and protect your heart from getting hurt. Anger doesn't always solve things, so if someone has harmed you, you don't need to get angry at them, but do make it clear that they crossed one of your boundaries, so that they can be careful.
letsfindyourbeyond
March 6th, 2021 7:14am
Not at all. You have reached that level of understanding and acceptance that you might know the reasons of things they do, that make you angry. And since you understand them, care for them, you have accepted them as they are. This is the most beautiful quality of yours. But, sadly there is a downside too. When you care for someone, its not easy to be unconditional, one day you will expect them to care for you, they may or may not. And then if you keep your emotions to yourself, you are hurting yourself. It's like a volcano mountain, you are adding the lava of anger and the hurt from unfulfilled expectations into a mountain, one day it might explode. Either care unconditionally or make sure they know you care. Never forget, nothing is wrong with you, you are too good to be wrong, but this anything too much in this world doesn't give peace.
Bambi02
November 11th, 2020 6:51pm
No! There's nothing wrong with you, you just love them deeply and you don't wanna hurt them. But if you're getting hurt ... you have to talk to them about it. If they don't understand you're gonna have to drop them as friends(If they're friends) and for family try explaining this to a family member you trust. But at the end of the day, you have to do what you think is best for yourself...because you know yourself better than anyone! I hope I helped you out...I also hope you understood what I said lol. But have a wonderful day/evening/night.
Anonymous
October 25th, 2020 7:46pm
There is definitely nothing wrong with you. I also find it hard to get mad at those I care about. Sometimes it is ok to get mad though but the way you display your anger is what is important. If you are upset it is important to voice your concerns in a healthy and respectful way. You sound like an extremely kind person. I do hope you have a way to express your emotions though in some form or another. Whether that is through conversation either in person or over the phone. Good luck to you!
LaszloSzakali
November 11th, 2020 2:45pm
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you! Feeling anger towards someone you care about or love is nothing to be worried about. You should try to speak with them about these feelings you're experiencing so that there is no weird void between you two. Talking about it all always helps, and you might even get to know how they feel towards you as well.There isn't anything wrong with you. Anger is negative emotion and sometimes we care about someone so much that they don't cause those emotions in us. That doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you. It actually may be good in some situations that you don't get angry - that means you can deal with problems in a calm, kind way. When someone is doing something that you find wrong/upsetting, you need to discuss it with them, and not being angry gives you a better chance at that discussion being calm and having actual, positive results, so I don't feel that there is anything wrong with you.
Emphatheticlistener
April 28th, 2021 2:28pm
No. Not being able to get angry at people is not an issue at all. Not being able to get angry at people you care about shows how much you care about. Something that you should be thinking about is that why do you want to get angry on people you care about. If there is something they do that you do not like or are comfortable about then you can talk to them. Talking out usually helps just care should be taken that you are talking peacefully and with an intention to make things better and not spoiling them or fighting. I hope this answer helps you.
Junewithwishes
November 14th, 2020 5:47pm
There's nothing wrong, hunny. That's all because you love them with all your heart and angry with them means hurting them and you can't stand the idea of hurting them. I see you have a big heart for caring at them and try to protect them also. Angry can means you care at them also but maybe you show them your caring side with another emotions. And once again it's normal, dear. I hope you have a good day always and keep caring with the people that you love. Because it's a safe sign for you to love them for who they are and when they do a mistake, anger isn't the answer to help them. You can do other things to show that you care at them.