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I find myself thinking of people as useless and tedious. What's wrong with me?

85 Answers
Last Updated: 12/18/2020 at 7:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amelia Winsby, PsyD


I often work with clients who experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties. I am non-judgmental and enjoy working with individuals from all walks of life.

Top Rated Answers
January 12th, 2019 9:44pm
Isolation is a troublesome issue that a lot of people deal with. It usually begins with when we begin to find character defects with others that make it easier to justify being alone and casting them out of our life. Remember, nobody is perfect. I keep in mind that a person is going to have about 20% of their character that I don't like and if they do something in that 20% category that "rubs me the wrong way" I turn it around and look at their good qualities. If I push everyone out of my life and focus on that 20% I will ultimately be alone. We need the balance.
January 22nd, 2019 6:45am
There are many circumstances that I find other individuals to be "tedious and useless." For example, 1. When other individuals are incapable of fulfilling my wants or needs, 2. When I spend too much time socializing, so I begin to feel exhausted, or 3. When I see people on social media complaining or being hypocrites and contradicting. Therefore, when I begin to feel like this, I have now realized to take a step back and take a break. I feel like it's normal for people to feel like in certain circumstances that others can be "tedious and useless." It just really depends on the circumstances or if you're feeling other feelings. However, a lot of the times people are upset and annoyed from something, so ultimately, something is causing you to feel that way. You have to reflect on yourself and figure out what it could be. It's different for everyone.
January 24th, 2019 2:49am
Nothing is wrong with you. :) Those are automatic thoughts that we all experience. People are all different. Maybe they are useless to you. But there are people who may be depending on them. Everyone has got their own issues. It is possible that this person may be experiencing something internally and they are not showing it. Self-talk is a good way of reasoning with your thoughts. Sometimes, ask yourself if there is evidence for what you are thinking. It can also be true. It is possible that this has become your habit. And it has been passed on to you by your parents or where you grew up. It is good to be self-aware. But you don't need to beat yourself up.
February 16th, 2019 10:10pm
It’s nothing wrong with you. There are times in our life where we don’t feel as friendly. Those are the times where we can self reflect and determine the areas in our life we wish to improve. There may be some underlying issues that have to be addressed that may have been hidden. Self reflection is a way to monitor our thoughts and feelings in hope to be in tune with our nature and ultimately determine what our happiness looks like. We may not know what the entire picture looks like but we can start with some elements in the scene.
June 27th, 2019 7:56am
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! It's normal to feel this kind of way, and it depends from person to person how they feel about different things. You might have a deeper reason for these thoughts tho? Maybe you have been out for some sort of trauma, and therefor you feel this way? I'm no one to solve your problem, or give you "the perfect answer", but I do know from personal experience that feeling that way have something to do with my personal trauma, in the past. However, what you feel is not wrong, you have every right to feel like you do.
August 1st, 2019 4:20pm
Receiving negative emotions sometimes is perfectly normal for everyone. Sometimes people disappoint others, which can lead to thinking of the general public as useless and/or tedious. Getting these feelings doesn't necessarily mean that you as a person are defected. Every person has a right to an opinion, and seeing as it's an opinion, it cannot be wrong nor right. I, myself, sometimes experience these feelings. They aren't always easy to deal with because you feel "weird", "stupid" or even "wrong". Just remember, negative emotions don't have to be in balance with positive ones. Just HAVING positive thoughts is a great start - negative emotions should never feel overpowering.
September 17th, 2019 8:52pm
Honestly, it is just human nature because I feel the same way. Every day I feel like I'm discovering another dark secret about humanity itself. There nothing wrong with thinking that way because I believe it true. There are many people like that, that don't need to be in our lives. But remember 2 things. Firstly just like how people have shortcomings, they will have their strengths. Sometimes it's just hard to find them. Secondly, as long as there is one person that you can trust and live for, those other useless people don't matter. Just trust those few people that you can and live for yourself.
September 27th, 2019 3:18pm
I think you're just tired of your surroundings. There's nothing wrong with you. I have often found myself feeling like that too. In order to overcome that I take a break from it. Go out for a trip with some friends or family or out on your own. A change in the atmosphere is refreshing. Cut down all the connections temporarily. Focus on the areas that you think needs to be worked on. Allocate time for the activities that you like to do, for example, paint, read a book, watch an all-time favorite movie or tv show. You could also try meditating that can help you a lot too.
January 11th, 2020 4:28pm
Well, the truth is, people are tedious. It takes a lot of work to live socially. There's a lot you have to think about. And every person has their own lives with their own struggles. That's a lot to remember and a lot to have to service. A lot of work goes into maintaining friendships or even just getting through a single conversation. As for the 'useless' tag, I cannot agree with that label. However, that doesn't mean that the problem is with you. Maybe you have been putting too much effort into unrewarding relationships. People can be kind and selfless and far from useless, but you have to find those people, the ones who are willing to put in the work to make a relationship happen. I would encourage you to continue working hard on your relationships, but I would also encourage you to look for the ways in which others are doing the same. Find people who are willing to help you back.
February 9th, 2020 7:33pm
why do you think that others are useless and tedious, what makes you think that there is something wrong with you. Lets concentrate on how we can place these words in the right perspective eg changing them from negative to positive. Can you think of any words that sound more positive than negative. Tell me have you ever heard anyone say anything bad to you, if so how did you feel. The people who you think are tedious and useless, are they close relations or just people in general. Describe what actions they are doing or what they are saying to make you feel this way. Has anyone made you feel like this in your past
March 25th, 2020 4:00pm
I can understand this feeling when people bully to much. Are the people around you understanding you well? Do you have people around you agree with and can do things you like with? Changing friends is a great idea to find useful people to do things with you really like. I did that some times. I think many people change their friends when they just do not fit anymore. So, we keep the feeling of good people. I like that feeling? And you? Do you know what you like to do? Is there a way to find those people that agree on that? So, you are not around those you feel useless about.
March 26th, 2020 7:57am
To assume there is something wrong with you would be to assume that what you're experiencing is unnatural, and I don't believe this is true at all. I think we all encounter individuals who may cause us to feel this way, and it can be especially challenging when you notice a trend. Personally, I try to maintain an objective point of view and remember that, just like me, each person is on their own journey. Developing compassion, for those whom we become frustrated by, can take time, commitment and patience. Most importantly, be kind to yourself - that's where it all starts!
May 6th, 2020 10:55pm
Very often, the way we feel about others is a reflection of the way we feel about ourselves. Do you find that you think of yourself in similar terms, running an internal monologue that says you're useless and/or tedious? Or, as is also likely, you've internalized the voice of a parent or other primary caregiver, who repeatedly (whether intending to or not) made you feel that you had those undesirable attributes. One helpful practice, when we meet someone we find objectionable or somehow offputting, is to ask ourselves "Am I seeing a quality that I have (and dislike about myself) expressed in them? ". This helps to get beyond our projections and dig a little deeper into what riles us.
May 22nd, 2020 12:11am
It sounds like you're under a lot of stress and frustration as you would like it to be. Therefore, this pent up feeling of being stuck becomes the lens through which you view the world, which makes it seem like people around are very annoying. I would need more information as to what has happened, but am inclined to think that you would have to give yourself a break. Learn to relax a little, engage in your favourite hobby and take a break from social interaction. After you feel like you're rested, it's time to get working again. :) Hope this answer is helpful.
June 12th, 2020 9:48am
How do we see other people is actually a reflection of our inner thoughts. Do you feel angry when you found yourself useless and tedious? These feelings are so painful to deal with so we tend to blame someone else in order to avoid self-blaming. Trying to recall if someone in your life has called you useless or tedious or you have witnessed someone in your family blaming each other, maybe your judgement comes from your parents/family's influence and you have experienced these comments growing up. They are not really your belief but come from the environment you grew up with.
July 24th, 2020 1:43pm
A person's expectations sets the standards for their overall life. That includes seeing people as useless and tedious if they are not polite and helpful. If you expect something that doesn't happen, it is normal for people to get upset if they were to set a standard that is hard for others to fulfill. A good example of unhealthy expectations is this: Suppose you're a Trans person, and wanted people to call you as your name, or perhaps by a preferred nickname or a set of pronouns implied through your wording, yet most people will try to call him or her a certain nickname, or perhaps try to come up with a neutral name, or even perhaps use a common term such as shemale or tranny that is oftentimes seen as derogatory. If this person were to change their expectations of what to be called, they either write it somewhere on their online profiles, or they directly make it clear as to what they want to be called and referred to as. By letting other people know, you're setting a clear and healthy expectation that as a trans person, you'd want to be called as the name or title, or pronouns you prefer, you're making it very clear that this is what your expectation of others is regarding your status as a person. So, in short, to solve this problem of letting small things ruffle your feathers, you lower your expectations. Rule of Thumb: If you expect nothing, yet accomplish a lot and are happy, you win in life. :)
August 8th, 2020 9:54pm
This is a really good question! From my experience, i've found that sometimes that is because of the way you've grown up. If you see the people around you valuing productivity and efficiency, you're going to pick that up. You may also feel the need to be productive and efficient with your work out of what was expected of you in your environment. This may evolve into a source of pain or insecurity or even anger for you. You may start to push this insecurity onto others without realizing. However, what matters is that you've recognized this is a problem and have reflected on yourself
September 18th, 2020 11:42am
It happens, you're not the only one. Sometimes, people can be very protective of themselves and in turn, become very picky about who they want to spend time with. It might be the fact that people are not proving you wrong and are in fact, "useless and tedious." But, a very helpful habit to adopt is to try not to let that get in the way of making friendships and connections. You can spend more time by yourself as much as you want, but still we are humans and we are in need of human interaction. Even if some people are an exercise to spend time with, having a bit of change from your own company will be fun and a breath of air, not necessarily fresh air, but air in general. And you never know, you might find somebody whose company doesn't make you feel fully aware of it, that you would be completely at ease having them around.
October 9th, 2020 10:39pm
A lot of people are useless and tedious. Nothing is wrong with you. You should worry if you find EVERYONE useless and tedious. Are you telling these people that they are useless and tedious? If so, that may mean that there is something wrong with you and that you're not adhering to societal norms. Maybe you should spend time with a variety of people to see if there are some who don't bother you as much? If it's still bothering you, write your feelings down in a journal so the thoughts are no longer swimming around in your head.
November 8th, 2020 11:13pm
I too have felt this way about people. I have often felt bad about it or blamed myself for being rude and/or mean. I am a person of high intelligence, and I feel that that has something to do with it. I have always understood things at a deeper level than many of the people around me, and in doing so I often disregarded what others would say as wrong, I still do so! I do not think there is anything wrong with you, I believe that you just have a better understanding or perhaps a different mindset than those that surround you! I think that it all depends on the way you deal with these thoughts :)
November 12th, 2020 7:36am
It is nothing wrong whit you, The first thing you need to do—expand the capacity of your awareness—is not at all obvious how to achieve it. Most people simply interpret it as simply getting experience in the world, learn more things about the world. But I’m referring to something very different. Something internal. It’s about WHAT you are—consciousness itself. Getting experience, learning about yourself and the world are all outwardly directed attention activities. I’m saying you need to develop your awareness in an inward direction as well, experience directly what you are at your core—your source of creativity and intelligence, your innermost SELF, your pure consciousness.
November 14th, 2020 3:57am
There's nothing wrong with you, but there is probably a root to where these thoughts are coming from. Trauma from abuse, depression, anxiety, a history of bullying, and just having your trust broken are all things that can make you believe that people are bad. Even if these thoughts come unintentionally, it might be your brain trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again. Look at your past experiences and maybe you can see a connection. As for the thoughts, perhaps try challenging them. Black-and-white thinking is a harmful thought process that can come after negative experiences with others. Challenge the negative thoughts that come to you. If you can't see others in a positive light, try towards seeing them in a neutral light: an imperfect human with both good and bad qualities. Don't hesitate to see a professional if you need one!
November 22nd, 2020 8:52am
Probably things are not going according to your way. Neither you nor other people are capable of solving the situation going around you. So you are developing this tendency to find them useless. Don't pass judgment. If you find yourself being judgmental, stop yourself. ... Understand. Instead of judging someone for what he's done or how he looks, try instead to understand the person. ... Accept. Once you begin to understand, or at least think you kind of understand, try to accept. ... Love. In most cases, we judge others in order to feel better about ourselves, because we are lacking self-acceptance and self-love. ... If we could all learn to love ourselves, we would make our world a much more compassionate and much less judgmental place.
November 29th, 2020 11:39am
Try to see the little things in life and be grateful because someone is always going to have it worse than you do. You could be disabled or poor or have any other amount of endless issues but what you focus on is what is going to be your reality. Take a moment to look at what is outside like the plants and the animals and try to think positively even if its only for like 10 minutes. You can start to change your way of thinking and make changes, but you have to be the one to do so. No one can do this for you.
December 18th, 2020 7:24pm
Nothing's wrong with you - for all we know, it may even be accurate! But it may also be a symptom of a mindset you've slipped into. Either way, it sounds like some kind of slump you can take actions to get out of, or test. Perhaps life has become boring to you. Or perhaps you could focus more on the journey of collecting new ideas from other people. In the case that it's really 'them', you yourself could try to pick up a new hobby, for with new hobbies come new communities of inspiring people. Sharpening a skill would also help if life has indeed become boring to you.