I often lash out at people and I'm constantly angry. What should I do?
Last Updated: 01/08/2019 at 7:51am
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
recognizing when you do start to feel angry or annoyed at someone is a good start. Take time for yourself, remove yourself from any situations that may annoy you. Count to ten, take deep breaths or think of something else (take yourself to your happy place). Something people often don`t realize is that simple asking the question of "Why" can help you a lot, "why do i feel like this" "why are they making me feel angry"
I often get angry, I think its a very healthy emotion is managed correctly, I normally bite my tongue and listen to the person / email / text. I sit on the experience at least a day before I respond or take action. Anger is one of those emotions that need/want to be heard right then, and right now! If you step away for a moment, calm down, and allow your thoughts to clear a bit, you'll find yourself in much better place to respond to what angered you in the first place.
I really like this question because it's so personal and you are looking for a solution. Let me start with asking what is the connection between often lash out at people and you being constantly angry? Are you angry to yourself or to others? Identifying the source of anger is crucial. What they say is know enemy is half enemy. After you identify the source, one thing i found it really works for me is appreciation, try to find something you appreciate in the thing that makes you angry. It will be very hard at first, but overtime you will become better and as result you will see that this person doesn't make you angry anymore. Hope this tip helps you in your journey to have more quality way of living. Hugs! Alex
First, lets be careful not to lash out because it can hurt people. Ask yourself, Why am I angry? what do i need at the time when i am lashing out? often times the root cause of anger are unresolved issues, insecurity, hurt and maybe confusion. If a simple self-assessment dosen't do the trick then it is a great time to speak with a guidance counselor or therapist to get a further evaluation to help you feel better
I suggest that you count to 10 always whenever you get angry. It helps, trust me. Another main thing is that you should always think about the situation from different perspectives before getting angry or even jumping into conclusions that get the others involve. You should relax, don't let anger and hatred take control over your mind and soul, it is not worth it having your anger lash out on the other party. The one getting hurt will be you rather than them. So, just stay calm and ....as always, think from different perspectives..
First, apologise to those people and take a break for yourself and figure out what is causing this anger. Figure out the reason why you are lashing out at people, go to the bottom of it, and from there, you can work on yourself to become a better person and less constantly angry. It's okay to be angry and frustrated but, do try your best not to lash out onto people, instead use that negative energy into something else and instead of lashing out, squeeze a stress ball, listen to music that can calm you down etc.
I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this. There are many ways you can overcome this. However, treatment depends on the individual. Perhaps consult your family physician to see which treatment would best suit you! In the mean time, you can find support here!
U could try anger management therapy or another way to release that anger other than lashing out at people maybe invest in a punching back i have hearc they are pretty good for anger release .
I would suggest that if you feel angry and aggressive at times that you need to try and prevent the anger from building up. Perhaps, taking a walk, playing on a game on the phone, podcasts/music, fidget gadgets, are a few ideas to try and distract yourself from the anger so that lashing out at people will gradually be prevented. Anger is a complex emotion and overall I would hope that by talking to someone about your emotions, having a better understanding of the anger will help you.
After every time you have lashed out on somebody, try to recharge your brain cells and get this through your head that it's not other people's problem that you are in some deep shit. I understand that you kind of know this or else you wouldn't be asking for advice. But if you exercise this practice, it'll get better in time. You can trying punching a wall when you are angry. In a few seconds the pain will start clouding the anger and as it'll grow you will feel yourself calm down. It has worked in my case and I hope it works for you. This advice only applies to men. For women, well, people will still flock to you no matter what, so don't worry about. In today's world, you're the only one who matters so enjoy.
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