I scare my parents when I get angry. I don't want to do that anymore. How do I stop?
Last Updated: 05/15/2018 at 11:21pm
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
Top Rated Answers
I feel I do this as well because I can go from "0 to 60" in a heartbeat and I have a tendency to over react. For me, the first lesson was to realize that my behaviour was wrong; which I have, knowing that I over react and get basically viscous. It's hard to stop when you're in the heat of the moment, so I like to focus more on reflecting. Writing helps me so much. When I get angry I just try to seclude myself and write out the feelings. So if you feel yourself reaching that angry point, ask to be left alone for a moment to calm down, gather yourself and then proceed with the issue with a clear mind. Sometimes you just need to check yourself for a moment and you'll be good.
It is great that you are aware of your actions. Maybe have a reflection on what happened that you scared them and have a talk with your parents about it. Let them know that you want things to improve.
One step at a time. It starts with wanting to change. Then deciding how to make that change possible. Looking at options, working on them, being conscious of yourself.
Take a moment to step back and process your emotions. Consider writing them down or taking a long deep breath. Put yourself in your parents' shoes. Imagine the best and worst ways you could express your anger to them. Maybe find a middle ground to use as a goal for your next response to your parents when you feel angry. Write down your thoughts and progress. Did it work? Were they still scared? Do you feel that you were able to effectively release your emotions?
How do you usually act when you're angry? It's a good step you recognize the way your anger hurts/scares them. Anger usually comes out when we feel wounded, threatened or attacked. You need to take a deep breath and analyze what's really going on. You should also start noticing what triggers you. And find ways to prevent those triggers from happening or affecting you. If this is hard to do on your own, you might need to find help.
If I hear you right, you suffer from getting angry to situations involving your parents and you get guilt of controlling your anger. It is normal to get angry, we all do at some moment in our lives. it is invitable and it will happen, what we can do to think how we can handle it to make ourselves first and others second happy. not letting a single moment control our day and relationships. you may take steps on how to handle such situation in future and ask others to help you not happening again, it is ok to apologize for such moments, they will forgave you as parents and may be be proud you are trying to correct this path.
Whenever you get angry with your parents, you need to calm down before it reaches the point of scaring them. Try using coping skills, such as counting to 10 before you reach a peak of anger, doing art to calm yourself, or even just checking your twitter feed. Whenever I get to this point of anger, I try playing video games to calm myself, writing, or even just petting my cat. Anything to calm yourself works.
The important thing is to learn on how to deal with your anger and what triggers it. Try taking deep breaths and giving yourself some personal space to recuperate from the anger before being around people.
Join an anger management class and talk to your parents about it. If you sit patiently and talk to them they'll understand that you are guilty about it.
one must always lear to control his/her angry. because angry may cause you many problems and by controlling that one will learn to endure his/her life with patience .
Start taking control of your emotions. Watch for triggers and try to prevent your reaction before it comes.
Related Questions: I scare my parents when I get angry. I don't want to do that anymore. How do I stop?
I have very rapid mood swings, what's the best way to manage them so no one gets hurt?I find myself thinking of people as useless and tedious. What's wrong with me?Why do I feel worse after crying?Are psychopaths necessarily bad people? What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?Am I depressed or just sensitive? How do you know if you're truly happy?I can't stop crying for days on end. What do I do?Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?How do I prevent negative thinking?