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If someone is angry at me, should we talk it out at that moment or wait until they are not angry anymore?

47 Answers
Last Updated: 05/18/2020 at 5:02am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
gracefulAngel96
September 17th, 2015 8:05pm
I don't think that it's a good idea to try to talk to someone when one or both parties is angry. My strategy is usually to get my anger out in a positive way (working out for me, but for others something else may work better), then collecting my thoughts and speaking with the person usually within a day or 2 of the incident. I do believe that waiting too long could make the situation worse, so I'd recommend using judgement to gauge how long you or the other person needs, but try to keep it under a weeks time.
Anonymous
November 17th, 2015 8:37pm
It depends on the person and situation you find yourself in. Also most importantly it depends on your emotions you're feeling at the time. I find it best to wait until you feel stable enough to approach the person or wait until it's obvious they're no longer angry.
LaRNauxous
November 17th, 2015 9:25pm
Depending on the situation, in my opinion. If I am at fault, and I know the reason they are angry, letting things cool a bit gas helped in my personal experience. Yet, if I am uncertain of why the person is angry, having answers/reasons makes it easier in the long run to resolve the issue.
Wolverineclaw
December 28th, 2015 8:15am
It depends upon the situation. If the anger is due to a misconception, telling might surprisingly calm them down... But mostly, it is better to let things cool down.
sugaryHoney88
February 8th, 2016 12:45am
If someone is angry with me, I wait until I have calmed down and let them know that when they have calmed down I will be ready to listen to them. Without any yelling or screaming.
Anonymous
February 9th, 2016 11:54pm
I think, a cool down period is necessary while having a disagreement, or when someone is mad at you. It acts like a buffer, and helps calm the person(s) down.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2016 10:51pm
Wait until they are no longer angry , so noting bad will be said in the moment but also so you don't say any thing in the heat of the moment and so that you have time to reflect on what really went on.
Anonymous
August 15th, 2016 11:16pm
I think the best thing would be taking a break, wait until they are more calmed and then the conversation will be better.
strawberryPudding82
December 6th, 2016 7:56am
If you realize someone is getting angry, the best thing to do is allow a cool down before things are said that were not meant and to assess the situation realistically. Words once said, cannot be taken back.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2017 1:54am
From personal experience, it seems better to wait until they aren't as angry as they were. Anger is a strong emotion that leads to strong actions and words. If the two of you are angry, one of you might do or say something you'll regret. It's best to wait until you both have been able to reflect on your thoughts and feelings, then come together and talk about it. Don't leave the issue unresolved, however; it'll come back if it's important to one or both of you.
CrownOfStars
May 1st, 2017 3:32am
Personally, I find it easier to talk it out with someone if we've both cooled down significantly earlier. I find that talking to someone when one of us is still angry increases the chances of someone saying something hurtful that they didn't mean. Of course, it changes from person to person, but I think that most people would have a hard time talking it out rationally if they're still emotionally unstable.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2017 2:53am
oh I would say waiting is the best way in order not to hurt anybody's feelings. Because we say a lot of things that we do not mean when we are angry.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2018 1:43am
If someone is angry at you, you can wait until they are less angry to open up because when you are talking out with them at an angry state of mind it might make it more worse than before and after they're calm they would have more ability to reason it out with you.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 2:08am
I would wait until they are not angry anymore.
snugglyBlueberry85
June 26th, 2018 6:25am
Wait until they are not angry anymore they will understand it better,because if you try to talk it out at that moment they’ll be too concentrated on why they’re mad at you
hopefulParadise73
June 26th, 2018 6:36pm
We should wait for sometime so that the other person can actually understand us and so that there us an active flow of information.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2020 5:02am
I prefer to let the angry person says whatever he wants to say , i just keep my mouth close till he finished. never argue with angry person he wont listen. I talk to them the next day or after he forgets and note " always change the place " for example if the person was angry in the bed room , i never talk and fix the problem in the bed room cuz the i feel like the anger vibes still there its better to change the place and talk