I’m always being told that I’m lazy and egoistic. I feel like I got lazier and egoistic since I’ve been called these things. Did I become egoistic and lazy?

Hello, It's understandable that maybe you have fallen into the role of being "lazy" and "egotistical" since you've been told these things repeatedly. These words can hurt and so it's a very human reaction. It's great you are aware of this so well done you! It's also admirable that you are looking for guidance. Only you can answer whether you have become egotistical and lazy. Perhaps reflect inwardly on what has changed in your behaviours before and after being called these words. Or perhaps try to have open, calm and honest conversations with the closest people to you. Ask them why they see you as these things, what you can improve on etc. These people care for you and want you to be your best self, so lean in and hear their feedback with love. Lastly, make a list of the qualities you admire in others and reflect those qualities back to yourself. I have done this myself. You can adopt these qualities with daily practice. It takes courage to try and be better and you've taken the first step in being self-aware - that's what brought you here! I believe in you. Best of luck, hope this helped. Ella.

Dear, a lot of people try to fight “laziness” by willpower alone, and while willpower can get you far at the start, it won’t really last long alone. Though if you want to get a big hit of willpower to start whatever task you desire, looking up “inspirational videos,” or “motivational speeches,” on Youtube seem to help a lot personally for me. This is very common, because it comes from the misunderstanding in society if you just try hard enough, you will manage to discipline yourself, and while that is a requirement, it needs to be more than just that. You need other ways to organize your life. You need to start a To Do list — lots of productivity apps have a lot of unique characteristics for this, but if you’re more of a paper lover, looking up Bullet Journal techniques work too. People are more likely to do things they are specific about. Such as rather than saying, “I need to eat better,” be more specific. Such as “Buy more healthy snacks,” “Only eat junk food on weekends,” and “Drink 8 glasses of water per day.” Start with easier changes in habits first. Discipline is like a muscle. It gets stronger with practice, but if you start too hard immediately more likely you’d just give up too early. Better to add small changes over time waiting for when you’re ready for the next challenge, rather than go all in, and then giving up just a month after. I suggest looking up the blog James Clear. There’s a lot of well explained psychology research on discipline and motivation if you are curious.

In my personal opinion, sometimes we become what people want us to be. It might be that being called lazy and egoistic made you think that that was the only thing you could actually do. It's like "they think I'm like this, so why shouldn't I behave like that?". Personally, I do not think you've become like that: I think, anyway, that you have the feeling that, since they expect you to be lazy and egoistic, you can only accomplish that. Unfortunately, people around us have a lot of power over our mental health wellbeing and sometimes we let them tell us who we should be. If you want to prove them wrong... do it. I know you can do it!