Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What can I do to better manage my overwhelming sexual desires by my own without a counsellor/psychologist? How can I stop masturbating and stop watching pornography?

101 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2021 at 1:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy

Psychologist

I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.

Top Rated Answers
inspades
May 16th, 2019 6:42am
Your desire to stop masturbating and watching porn will actually make you want to do them even more. I'm guessing you are religious and your religion has told you that porn and masturbation are sinful. You need to understand that these things are inevitable and natural. Obsessing about your "sins" and "sinful" desires will only make you anxious and guilty, and this will make you desperate for a shot of dopamine through masturbation. Trying to stop is more likely to foster deviant sexual desires as your body seeks gratification while your mind associates sexual intimacy with "sin". This will negatively affect your romantic relationships since they will be associated with "sin". And this will lead to isolation and probably depression. So to your question of how to manage your desires on your own. The reason we seek dopamine through masturbation is the same reason that everyone seeks drugs - we are desperate for a release from the suffering of life. Guilt and anxiety about sex will only increase this desire. So what can be done? Instead of trying to suppress sexual thoughts or hungers, pay attention to them. Focus your attention on the thoughts and emotions for as long as you can. This is a type of meditation and will help your general happiness. Trying to suppress the yearnings will only create more anxiety and depression. Another thing to do is to develop your relationships with family and friends. If you have any fun hobbies then put some more time into them also. Follow your spiritual or religious path as it relates to awareness of "higher powers" but not as it relates to sin. Focusing on this behavior in terms of sin and righteousness will just put you in the ranks of the countless religious men who tried "avoid sin" only to develop deviant, illegal, or unhealthy habits. Repression and suppression simply don't work. Relax. If you masturbate or look at porn then oh well, just move on living your best life. Getting hung up on this habit will only make the sexual desires become more powerful.
Luna19993
February 7th, 2019 3:47am
If this is a genuine concern or worry, I believe that maintaining that time to do other things can be incredibly productive. Take a long, hot shower. Go for a jog until the will subsides. It might sound ridiculous, but call a friend or a family member and have a chat to them for a while. Keep your mind and body active and start growing used to not doing it. But don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up. Masturbation is entirely natural and it brings pleasure. There is no shame in it. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2016 6:40am
First you must develop a social life. Staying at home alone is a bad idea. Go for a walk make friends, start hobbies or sports where you are not alone. Secondly you must make it difficult for yourself to do anything you dont want. Turn off the wi-fi at home unless you need it for something important. Take the t.v and computer/laptop out of your room and put it in a public space. Search the internet and try to find the many support groups and organizations that exist that adress this issue.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 6:43am
It's natural to have sexual desires; it's part of who you are and as part of being a human being. It's perfectly healthy to sexually gratify yourself. If something's bothering you, try taking a moment to address what of thoughts you've been having, and when you are most overwhelmed by your urges. Perhaps, there is a something in your life that needs to be alleviated. Perhaps, you might need some way to relieve stress. A counselor/psychologist may even be the person to help you figure it all out, it's perfectly understandable.
sweetgrandpa
January 3rd, 2020 8:10pm
Unfortunately, just like a person who lives with drug addiction, addiction to masturbation and pornography stimulates the same portion in the brain with an "overdose" of a neurotransmitter that addicts us. The difficult side is that just like a dependent, your brain will go through withdrawal a few times until it decreases. I would advise you to read about the 12 Step Working Guide that was developed by anonymous narcotics and consider their overwhelming desires as a chemical dependency. Society today encourages us to overuse these types of materials to make it easier to sell products, but the harm we do is real.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2016 1:49am
Sometimes people master are because there's nothing else to do and that leads to porn. It's the same when some people eat. They only do it because there is nothing else going on. But if it is more serious and you have almost a craving to masterbate. Then you have to slowly wane yourself off. Don't go cold turkey just replace it with something else that will busy your mind and hands maybe excersise and listen to music or read. Whatever it takes.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2019 6:14pm
This is a brave question...To manage your overwhelming desire, put in your mind that you can do it, and keep thinking about your reasons to quit those two habits. You can write down your reasons on a paper and put it somewhere visible to you,like your personal desktop. Your self-reminder will probably motivate you to start finding ways that distract your mind away from what you want to quit. Try meditating every day, it helps to relax you and to clear your mind . You can also focus on your hobbies, or discover a new one by trying new things, such as a sport you never participate in.
beautifuldarkclouds
December 26th, 2019 12:48pm
Sex is beautiful because it is natural, but sexuality ugly because it is not, which is psychotic. When sex becomes cerebral, when sex enters into your head, it becomes sexuality. But, the head is not the center for sex, which means not the function of the head. That is getting into confusion; it is getting deranged. When sex enters in through the head, it becomes sexuality. Then you think about sex, and then you fantasize about sex. And the more you believe, the more you fantasize about it, the more you will get into trouble. Then nothing real will ever satisfy you, because there is no limitation on fantasy, and reality is limited. You must know, Repression makes sex as pathological sexuality, which one extreme. If you can't deal it with yourself, you need help. Yes, there are other options, yoga — the best way to control your desire without suppressing it.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2016 2:56am
Find other hobbies to replace those actions. When you find yourself craving those things, do the hobby in place of it.
Anonymous
September 8th, 2016 11:48pm
Well for one, you don't need a psychologist about sexual desires. Maybe if you are confused about your sexuality, then yeah. But I dont think counseeling is required for that. Its a personal matter. How can people stop masturbating and watching porn? Well personally, I think that it is ones choice about masturbation. Self pleasure, and pleasure done by someone else is a normal human thing. If you want to stop watching porn, maybe you can imagine a scene, or visualize what you want to happen. Its all personal preference. But if you want to stop both entirely, Just do things to take your mind off it. If you get urges, go pick up a book. Theres so many ways to stop it. But again, there is nothing wrong with masturbation, or pornography. Child porn, now that is not okay and should be reported. And if you are under 18 I don't think you should be watching porn. But again, this is all my opinion. Sorry if I jumped around allot.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2017 1:42pm
Since masturbation can be a response to boredom or frustration, try finding some other distractions or hobbies when you feel the urge to do it. Also consider the possibility that masturbation is not a bad thing - it doesn't hurt anyone and can be a good form of stress relief.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2019 8:10pm
I think technology plays a big part of our bedtime routine. I also had this problem, and for me, it wasn't until I forced myself to stop that I actually did. It was very hard for me. One thing I suggest is to try and go one day without it, then two, then three, and so one. I know you might make a mistake in the schedule, but continue to space out the days of watching porn until you stop completely, and masturbating seems like a past part of your life! Hopefully it can also help you setting those goals!
Anonymous
October 17th, 2019 7:03pm
I am sorry that you are going through that. It is going to take a bit of work on your part. Basically, you need to find a way to distract yourself when you get the urge. Get a new hobby (crafts, games, sports, etc). Exercise is a great distraction, and you'll feel good after. Find an accountability partner. Good luck.
HumbleBeefSandwich
July 6th, 2016 5:28pm
Perhaps as yourself why you are having these desires - what will sex bring you? Happiness? Confidence? something else? Once you are aware of WHY you have these desires, you can replace it with other things that will give you what you are looking for - lets say its confidence, just for giggles - perhaps join a gym or learn a new skill to become more confident, for example - i know this is easier said than done, but perhaps you are missing somthing else in your life that is the actual cause for why you are having these desires... hope this helps, if even a little Mike
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 7:32am
I don't see anything in masturbating nor in watching porn. If you are not sexually active then it can be a helpful resource. If not, being active and distracted may help as well.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2016 8:17am
Find something else that interests you to distract yourself but also know that those desires are ok.
Anonymous
September 8th, 2016 4:04pm
Distract yourself. Keep yourself busy with things you love, or even better a sport you like. Thus you will be too tired to even think of it and it also helps to maintain your health
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2016 2:12pm
For one, you have to try to strengthen your self will. Also, getting rid of, or putting "things" out of sight helps. Busy yourself so you don't have the time either.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2018 4:05am
First, you need a strong will to stop. You need to tell yourself, "Okay, my goal is to stop masturbating and watching porn". Secondly, set yourself a goal. Say, "okay, I will masturbate only 2 times this week". Thirdly, Reduce the number of times until you have none left. Then treat yourself. Do something you really like. Another suggestion would be having a motivation. Put something that you really really want to achieve on the front-line. For example, I want to be an amazing guitarist. Then, replace the time you do masturbation and watching porn with this. It will help you reduce the need to succumb to your desires while at the same time, gain a new skill! Good luck to anyone trying this!
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 9:32pm
It is important to change one bad habit for a better one; try an exercise such as running or yoga, or pick up something new for your mind, such as learning a new language in order to see things differently. In many cases, it can be important to open up to the people close to you or even a trained professional in order to overcome this disease - which it is without a doubt. Try finding podcasts, educational videos and even other people who have gone through the same thing as you, and it will help you in your journey.
enchantingMist13
March 31st, 2018 5:41pm
If it is not entirely impossible for you to seek some sort of therapy for this, then I highly recommend as it's very difficult to tackle on your own, like any addiction. However if that is not a option for you, the fact you have recognised that this is a overwhelming aspect of your life is the first step. Everyone has sexual desires and wants and needs and it's completely healthy. It becomes unhealthy when you feel it consumes you, as you will always have that urge for something more- more satisfaction and that is where pornography comes in. I think wishing to stop masturbating and stop watching this material may be to far fetched and unrealistic. It's important to look at other aspects of your life, are you lacking in social interaction ? Is your work not how you would like it to be ? Are you looking for some form of escapism ? Really think about this. As if other aspects of your life are not good for you, you'll be more inclined to want to escape for a while and feel good. Gain satisfaction from your work, life experience, relationships. You can eventually Balance things out to a more healthy level.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2020 12:56am
Managing sexual desire in a healthy way is key. If masturbating and watching porn is getting in the way of your everyday life, then in is important to self reflect and determine why you are filling your time with these things. However, masturbating is completely normal and healthy if it is not impacting your daily responsibilities. Spend some time reflecting on why you want to stop masturbating and watching porn, and then try to determine other activities that could fill that time. In addition, reflect on if you can masturbate in a healthy way. If you're still finding that these are a problem in your life, reaching out to a licensed therapist would be an ideal next step.
Actuallynobody017
November 21st, 2020 5:35am
First of all, you don't have to feel ashamed of it. I suppose you need to see a sexologist to address the issue. I will also ask you to keep trying to avoid watching it and doing masturbation. If you fail, it is okay. Do not be harsh. Start fresh again and avoid again. If you fail again, restart again. It will take a bit time. Seeing a sexologist would be helpful while you try to avoid. Remember that you do not have to be feeling sad when you fail. Slowly but steadily you will recover from it. It will take time. It might take 3 - 5 years as well. But keep trying whenever you fail. If you cannot afford a sexologist, try doing exercises. Wake up in the morning and do yoga. Do not do any exercise which triggers it. Always stay hydrated ( drink atleast 2 litres of water everyday ) ,have a sleep routine and strictly follow it even if you cannot. You can eat walnuts or have 0mega 3 supplements as well. Go slow. Just do the exercises which you like. Maintain a daily routine of life and avoid chilly and spicy food cause it can trigger it. And try to wear boxers or even avoid wearing underpants. Make sure your groin area is ventilated and cool . Take care.🤗
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 12:41pm
There are support groups for people with these addictions. If you are not comfortable joining a groups it might be helpful to have a trusted friend who you can reach out to when you have these urges. It can get your mind off of the urge and help you feel cared for in a different way. Sexual addiction is a form of self medication. Find something else that makes you feel good which is less destructive and give that a go when you would normally being acting out on your urged. Sometimes sexual/porn addiction stems from boredom and then becomes a destructive habit. Treat yourself to other enjoyable things. You got this!
Anonymous
July 8th, 2016 5:01pm
To manage issues like this it takes time to stop and focus on the world again. Remember however that there is nothing wrong with this and it is a phase of growing up, soon you will grow out of it and be able to focus on other things in your life. In the meantime, fill your time with productive tasks that you need to do and distract yourself from those urges.
Flawlessinsanity21
July 8th, 2016 7:46pm
That is a situation I definitely would not take up on my own. I don't really have any suggestions, I guess because that isn't my area of profession and I do not know much about it. But that is definitely something I would see a counselor about instead of trying to overcome yourself, especially if you are unsure about ways to overcome it.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 7:23am
Investing in other hobbies, going out more, exercising, pursuing the arts. The best way might be to place your devices / use them in front of people so you'll be less likely to watch.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:42pm
If you need to stop watching pornography,you should get a family member or friend to block porn websites and put a password lock on. You can also call your internet provider.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2016 10:32am
Try to lower your daily dose of Sexuality activity everyday, until you find that you no longer need it. If you can't, try lowering it once a week.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 1:07am
If pornography and masturbation are overtaking your life, they may each be an addiction and in any case, addiction is best treated with professional help as it is very difficult to overcome without a guide.