What should I do when my boyfriend ignores me?

311 Answers.
Last Updated: 01/19/2018 at 9:22pm
What should I do when my boyfriend ignores me?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Top Rated Answers
Miracle
December 13th, 2014 1:54pm

Being ignored can make you feel really alone and like you have done something wrong.However it's important to try and look at the situation objectively even though you are very much in the relationship.What factors might be causing his behaviour and does it relate to you eg.Is he simply very busy with a work or university deadline ?, Does he need to speak to his family or other friends too (I know it may be tempting but you cannot be his whole social life).If it persists long term though and you feel it is really impacting on your life it might be worth bringing the issue up in a calm manner and asking him to explain the reasons while also telling him how it makes you feel.If you have worked on other areas of your relationship and this is the sole 'issue' I would very much hope he would be responsive to your concerns and attempt to change his behaviour.

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Anonymous
July 29th, 2015 6:04am

Usually when a guy is ignoring me, I try texting/calling him first to see if he'll actually answer. If he doesn't, I give him three days to answer me back until I break up with him because he isn't worth my time. :)

keithincracow
July 30th, 2015 2:39pm

Simple answer -tell him you'd like him to pay more attention to you! Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship. Is he ignoring you more than usual? Is he ignoring you for something specific? Is he ignoring you because he's preoccupied with something? Maybe he'd like to talk about it, and especially to you, but he doesn't know how to communicate. I'd be happy to talk to you more on this.

Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 5:22pm

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RollingTide
August 13th, 2015 6:53pm

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What to do when your boyfriend ignores you

Anonymous
December 9th, 2014 8:54pm

Go on about your own business, treat yourself like you would your best friend and do things that you enjoy. Men need a lot of space. When he inevitably comes back wanting your attention, explain calmly but assertively the way you feel when he acts that way.

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September 15th, 2015 1:11am

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happynappy
July 22nd, 2015 11:51pm

In times like this, I usually focus more on myself. Doing things I love, reading lots of book, taking good care of myself (such as; exercise, making sure I'm in good shape, taking enough rest and etc.). The more you seek attention the more you will look unattractive to your partner. The more you take good care of yourself the better and the more attractive you become.

nirvan
September 21st, 2016 8:15am

he is not responding to me since week

Tony11
July 22nd, 2015 2:45pm

Let him ignore you. Don't show him that you are dependant of him. If he ignores you, maybe he needs space. If he never quits ignoring you, you obviously deserve better.

dotty
December 26th, 2014 12:09pm

look at the cause...either his love is fading, or he's got some personal problems, or he needs more room, or its just a love game? once you get to know which is it, you might find a solution too! *hopefully*

Tuscany
July 8th, 2015 6:22pm

I would just try to distract myself from him. You do not need him to pay attention to you for you to have value, and sometimes, I think we get so caught up in those we love that we forget that.

CK927
July 31st, 2015 5:04pm

Seek out your own personal growth and development. Have fun and keep busy until he calls or messages.

cheerfulJoy79
July 9th, 2015 3:20pm

From my own personal experience I have found that its best to wait until he talks to you and then ask why he was ignoring you.

Anonymous
August 6th, 2015 2:44am

When one is ignored by a significant other, it can make them confused, angry, and scared. It's hard not to text and call just to make sure they haven't forgotten you! Sadly, this often makes them avoid you more. People like space and when they smell desperation they run. The best thing to do is relax and let your boyfriend come around on his own. Don't think he hates you, maybe he's just busy or worried about his own issues. The important thing is to not take anything personally.

Br33zyS3tz
July 4th, 2015 9:47pm

The best thing to do in this kind of scenario is to be calm, cool, and collected; don't let it get to you too much. Keep positive and stay firm with yourself, don't show defeat or become too apprehensive; don't hound him, just text here and there and let him know that you hope he is doing ok, that you are missing him, that you are a bit concerned, but don't over do it. It's important to keep in touch, despite the fact that he may be ignoring you, do not make any kinds of irrational threats towards him, and if he continues to ignore you, then let the situation settle as it may. Show a bit of concern, make an impression, try, and then let time do what it may. Showing initiative makes you the bigger and better person in some cases; letting things fester sometimes solves things, and sometimes makes others worse. Keep calm, don't jump to conclusions, and try to avoid making irrational assumptions. Your health and composure is the most important; you must remain steadfast, perhaps admit to wrongdoings, be attentive, and sometimes let things go. Time will always tell; don't let ignorance or insecurity overpower, or dominate you, or your feelings. Remain composed, remain true to yourself.

Anonymous
January 20th, 2016 4:02am

I'm sorry to say this, but you should break up with him. If he's ignoring you, he's wasting your time when you could be with someone who doesn't ignore you.

Anonymous
December 22nd, 2014 8:42am

If he absolutely won't let you state your case and he disrespects you personally then ignore him and walk away. It's possible that the space will allow you both to gain perspective on the situation.

Anonymous
December 10th, 2014 12:25am

Ask him if something is wrong, if he still ignores you, give him some space... he will talk to you when he feels ready to do it. But remember, if it is something that makes you feel bad, tell him, he have to understand too that he can't ignore yo anytime that he wants if it is something that hurts you

Swifting
March 26th, 2016 5:59am

If your boyfriend is ignoring you - it's important to look not at the reason he's ignoring you but the health of the relationship. Is it healthy for you to be in a relationship with someone who cuts off communication? Is it healthy for you to put time and energy into someone who would rather shut down than work it out? From there you should formulate if this is the relationship for you to be in and if this is the relationship that will keep you happy long term. In my life anyone who shuts me out is not someone I'm interested in being with. Open and honest communication is more important to me than someone willing to ignore me.

braveHeart1989
December 24th, 2015 5:21am

Your boyfriend should realize that you are not his rock. You are a privilege and can easily leave if he ignores you.

Anonymous
April 10th, 2015 2:26am

either ask him why he does this... or when that doesn't work break up with him. you deserve someone who will give you all of their attention.

Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 2:42pm

give him the taste of his own medicine once in a while, let him miss you too. if he still ignores you, dump him, you deserve better !

youaremysunshine5
August 2nd, 2015 3:19am

Being ignored by someone who you have complete faith and trust in shouldn't be a huge issue, for nothing is above the power of love, if the reason is a small argument, sort it out. You're better than that nothing can be more important than him. If he's abusive, darling you need to get help, he is not worth your time anyways, for he never loved you. It's a good news he's finally ignoring you. If it just came out of the blue, there must be something going on that you are unaware of, sometimes pain alters personalities of people you love, reach out, make sure to tell them you are always going to be there. If there is any other reason, do what your heart says, but NEVER on the expense of your own happiness and self respect. Love yourself.

livefree24
July 22nd, 2015 5:30am

Depends on the reason, but never go crazy. do NOT blow out his phone and freak out Give him space and time.

Anonymous
December 10th, 2014 3:08pm

I think you should try to confront him all the way until he talk to you or if still nothing happens why don't give both a space for each other.

SoulfullAshley
July 3rd, 2015 8:06am

Try to give him some space. Maybe there is something that he needs to work on and figure out on his own. Don't try to force yourself on him, it will not help that matter.

Anonymous
December 11th, 2014 12:23pm

i honestly think that this is a matter of who was right or wrong. in most of my friends', it is because of misunderstandings that results to fights then one ignoring the other. talk it out. try understanding each other. open communication helps.

DrParnassus
July 29th, 2015 7:18pm

Be at peace with yourself, give him space. When he reaches out to you be honest about how you feel .

Schultzy
August 5th, 2015 2:52pm

If your boyfriend is ignoring you, There's a fair chance that something is upsetting him. Whether it's related to your relationship or his own personal life, Something is upsetting him. If you are able to, try to talk with him and just see how he's feeling, If anything's going on in his life that may be upsetting/causing him stress. If that's the case, He's most likely not ignoring you to intentionally hurt you. He just needs some space there. If it is related to your relationship, try to talk things out and see where things are with both of you.

Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 1:58am

Be the bigger person and give him a chance to see whats hes missing. If you find you have done something wrong, then say you're sorry, but that is all you can do. If he chooses to hold a grudge or is just simply ignoring you then wait for him to come to you.

Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 11:44am

Sorry to hear you are having issues with your boyfriend. Perhaps there has been a miscommunication between you both that has caused him to feel confused or distant for the time being. Honest and direct communication may help. Perhaps if you make contact the best way you can (via email, text chat or a direct phone call) and explain your concerns, calmly and openly he will respond with an explanation for his actions. If he continues to ignore you he may be requiring some time to sort out his own emotions he is feeling. While this may be frustrating to you, the 'timeout' may resolve the issue and bring a positive long term outcome. I wish you well with your concerns and please come back to 7copsoftea.com to chat again with any future problems that may arise. Have a wonderful day.

BrightSoul87
December 26th, 2015 6:23pm

Hello there. Exactly what do you mean when you say he ignores you? Anyway, don't look down on yourself or blame yourself for being ignored. He may be going through some tough times and may not want to be disturbed. Sometimes the reason he is ignoring you is personal and may have nothing to do with you. Just support him in all his endeavours and be there when he's ready to talk. If you keep pushing him to talk he may just loose it with you.

Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 6:57am

Let him have bis space, being ignored is usually because he does not know what to say and most likely needs some time. Give him that time and he will come to you.

Akatsuya
March 13th, 2016 8:31am

You need to have a serious talk about him ignoring you, because that is emotional relationship abuse and should not be taken lightly.

turkoizdog
April 17th, 2015 6:08am

If this is habitual, it might be important to figure out why he does this. He may need time to himself, or it may be a sign of problems in your relationship. If it's the former, it may help to have other close friends for when you need attention and socialization, but your boyfriend wants to be alone. If there are problems within the relationship, those should be targeted and discussed when you both feel comfortable doing so.

EndearingHope
August 6th, 2015 10:38am

It may seem like your boyfriend is ignoring you, but maybe he is just taking time to be by himself. It's better to take time apart, than talk when angry.

Chevy81
July 1st, 2015 3:17am

Try to find out the rrason behind it by asking to him. And if he doesn't give an answer, I'll move on.

Erynn
December 30th, 2014 7:37pm

It probably depends importance of the thing he ignores, and how long and on-going his ignoring you is. You have many options. You could tell him right then and there that you feel hurt he is not listening and why you feel it is important that he gives you more attention at this particular moment. In the moment, it would probably be best to not focus on how many times in the past he has not listened, but only talk about right then and there if you feel it is an important thing he listens to. But, if you want to address an ingoing issue of him ignoring you, you might find a time when you are both calm and ask to talk to him. Explain that you'd like his full attention and that this is something very important to you. Try ti use "I" statements, so he doesn't feel attacked this helps people listen better) and explain why it matters to you that he listens and what it feels like for you when he ignores you and what makes you feel he is ignoring you. It can also be a good idea to enter a conversation with an idea of how you think you both can improve things, and end the conversation with some problem solving. If things get heated/angry, you might both pause for a break/breather, but set a specific time to resume conversations so this is talked the whole way through. If nothing changes and you are still feeling ignored, you might discuss ending the relationship, or just end it as that is an option). Or, you could change your expectations of him and his attention, or find times he is more likely to listen and save important talks or meaningful chats for that time.

silverMusic21
July 23rd, 2015 12:00pm

i think the first thing to do in this situation is to communicate with him. At first you need to be sure if he is really ignoring you or he's disturbed by something . If you don't get what exactly is gong on then it will ruin everything . And one thing, don't try to avoid this problem cause this way it will just mess up . Just ask him directly and listen what he is saying . Try not to overreact and be patient .

DipityEnigma
July 11th, 2015 4:10pm

It really depends on why they might be ignoring you. I'm not saying this is the case, just an example but if you're acting in a way that you don't realise and it upsets him, he could be ignoring you because he doesn't know how to deal with you. However, this might not be the case and it would be better if you give him his own space when this happens and once he's ready to talk, ask him why he ignored you. Whatever he says, try not to take it personally. Getting offended won't solve anything. Listen to what he says, hear him out. Think about what he tells you and how it's affecting him. Think about how you can improve on the things he's stated. I know it's hard not to play the blame game and I know it's hard not to let your ego get the best of you but to make a relationship work, you need to be willing to listen and work on your problems together. Being against each other won't make either of you happy and you'll simply be stuck in a rut. I don't mean to cause any offence and I hope this helps.

sereneSunshine87
August 9th, 2015 11:13pm

I think you should do your best to focus on yourself and reflect on the relationship in general. Ask him why he ignores you. You deserve to know

PorcelainPyramid
September 14th, 2015 3:13am

First, breathe. All girls have been through this and it can make us very anxious. If he is really ignoring you you could try calling, but I wouldn't call or text more than once as this could just be annoying and make him more mad. If he's ignoring you because you've done something wrong or you both have you should just apologize for the part that you screwed up with and when he gets over it a bit talk about it calmly. Or it could just be that he needs some space. In this case it's best to not freak out. Just give him time and he will stop ignoring you eventually, just distract yourself while it's happening so you don't get too upset.

yourOcean42
July 26th, 2015 11:56pm

Have you talked to him about it? is he still ignoring you? Consider what's going on in his world from his perspective. Is there something that could be bothering him that is unrelated to you? Take a step back and breathe for a moment. What is it that you need? What specifically is making you feel ignored? Are there external factors of your relationship that may be making you feel neglected? Are you projecting those feelings onto your boyfriend? If all these questions still point to your boyfriend clearly ignoring you it's time for a calm and open conversations. Approach him with no assumptions of reasons for his behavior. Be honest and clear with your words. Let him know you've felt he is ignoring you and you don't want to jump to any conclusions about why that's happening. Listen.

LovebyChristina
July 24th, 2015 4:07am

To this question I say, to each their own. Everybody has their own experiences in relationships. Give yourself a moment to breathe and think, and when in a clear mind decide what feels best for you in the situation. If reaching out feels best, do so. If not, leave them be.

openedmind81
August 12th, 2015 3:34pm

Talk and listen, find out what is going on. In many situations the assumptions and conclusions drawn are inaccurate.Address the problem to your boyfriend and get his response.

Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 3:39pm

You should find out the reason first before coming to any conclusion. I think that is the first thing anyone must do, as talking is the best way to keep troubles out.

Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 9:18am

If your boyfriend really loves you but is still ignoring you,maybe he is taking you for granted. You can start by being aloof,ignoring him in the same way,or you can try giving him some space if you think you are too clingy. Maybe that will help bring him back to you. Don't allow him to take you for granted. And if he doesn't love you and is ignoring you,maybe you should start searching for a new boyfriend

SimeonUS
December 31st, 2015 7:52pm

Give him space, he probably has a reason. If it lasts too long, I'd might ask for reasons. If it doesn't work out, I would hold onto lingering feelings. Just break it off, he is probably not worth your time.

Leo442
March 18th, 2016 10:09am

Try to talk to him and ask him if he's upset from some reason. Let him know that his behavior is hurting you. Communication should be the basis of all relationships.

insightfulPurple89
September 21st, 2016 1:59am

Enjoy yourself, have a good time with your friends, or on your own. By doing this you prove to yourself and to your partner how valuable you are as a person!

blindAngle
September 24th, 2016 8:50am

Ignores him also . He will come to you if he is sincere , otherwise don't bother about him . There are so many other people around you

lovelyOcean15
July 9th, 2015 7:32pm

I will do some silly stuffs in front of him, get him attraction and make him laugh. If he keep ignoring me, maybe I will make him a dinner and give him a big great hug.

Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 10:11pm

I think you should just talk to him. Communication is big in relationships and he might not realize he's doing it.

Anonymous
July 30th, 2015 4:15am

I'd say give him some time to get back. Or give him a period of time saying you will get back after giving him some time. One thing not to do is pressurize him into talking.

LightACandle
August 1st, 2015 1:16am

For what reason? If he is not replying to your text since 3 hours ago, his phone might have died. If he has not talked to you for a few days, he might be caught up with something. The important thing to do is not jump to conclusion but ask for clarification when you can and take it from there. While you wait for the opportunity to ask, do something you love to do like a hobby. Play video games, read books, start a project. This is the time you get for yourself!

Anonymous
August 2nd, 2015 9:47pm

Sometimes it is best to just give guys their space, but it they're taking too long try to find out why he's ignoring you.

Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 6:19am

I think communication is important in a relationship for it to be healthy. Maybe you should try to communicate with your significant other and try to find out the reason as to why you are being ignored. Personally if I don't get an answer as to why they are behaving his way, then I would not like to waste my time on someone who doesn't care enough to provide a simple answer and communicate. I would be happy to find another partner who respects me.

Daydream14
March 27th, 2016 4:26am

I am sorry,but I may not give you advice. I am only here to listen and guide you to what is best for you, What do you think is best for your situation?

Drimezan
August 15th, 2015 12:50am

When your boyfriend ignores you, think first on what might be the reason why he would ignore you. Consider how he treats you and if there is an argument that happened before he ignored you. Jumping into conclusion would only allow your mind to overthink and make you worry and feel anxious causing doubts to build into your relationship. And having doubts would create a gap between you and your boyfriend which will greatly affect your relationship.

1musicloverever
November 30th, 2016 9:44pm

Just distract yourself, just do your own thing, if they want to talk to you they will and when they do you can talk then, but you don't need to be wasting your time on someone who doesn't even want to spend theirs on you.

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Anonymous
September 11th, 2017 8:16pm

Perhaps find the root cause and address it. Different situations are different. Just like headaches can happen for different reasons so can the act of ignoring happen for different reasons. What should you do when you have a headache? Depends on what's causing the headache.

Anonymous
April 11th, 2017 11:25am

I would try to contact him first, maybe via a telephone ring or text message. I would try to contact him in person at school? If he kept ignoring me, I would ask his best friend politely if anything was going on and that he should tell my boyfriend that I feel as if he is ignoring me and we should talk about it.

MissyR70
April 8th, 2017 4:46am

The fact that he is ignoring you might just mean that he needs space. It's not good for you and your mate to be together all the time.

LittleMissJoy
March 9th, 2017 4:44am

When your boyfriend seems to be ignoring you the best thing to do I believe is to let him be. He obviously is ignoring you because he is upset, frustrated or angry with you. I am someone who thinks when people want to be left alone for however long it may be, you must respect their wishes and let them be. In this case your boyfriend needs time to think or be alone so don't bother him by adding to his anger, or frustration. He will come around when he is ready and you will be there ready for him to talk when the time comes. Choosing to pester him will only cause more problems for the two of you.

Anonymous
February 16th, 2017 11:16pm

Something else! Anything else. Don't let it get to you. Focus on staying positive and when he's ready to talk, talk if you want too. Tell him it upsets you when he ignores you and figure out a way together to overcome it.

PenPineappleUgh
February 15th, 2017 4:51pm

Always remember tha for a relationship to work, it takes two. Ask him if there is something going on or bothering him. Try to talk things out instead of building up negative thoughts. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.

StayAwesome
February 9th, 2017 7:03pm

Don't get yourself too worked up about it, at first. Maybe he's going through a tough time and he just needs his distance. We all struggle through stuff and we sometimes prefer some space. Ask him about it later on. Just talk it out. Avoid fighting because it rarely solves misunderstandings. In fact, it causes more trouble in a relationship.

traveller88
February 9th, 2017 2:25pm

Talk to him about how you feel and arrange romantic dates (a walk to the park, drive to the beach, picnics, movie nights- it doesn't have to be expensive) where you dedicate time focused entirely on each other

EmpathicVision
January 5th, 2017 10:34pm

Well, first and foremost is observing the situation objectively. You feel ignored. What is he doing that makes you feel that way? What behavior would make you feel heard? And then gently (without accusing him of ignoring you, although I know it can be tempting) bring up the situation. Maybe ask if there is something on his mind, or let him know that his opinion is valuable to you. Addressing the issue in a caring and open manner helps take away the possible sting of accusation and the reactive defensiveness that often comes with it. Hopefully he will be open to sharing his side of what is going on and to listen to you. Don't forget to be open and to listen to where he is coming from too!

amiableTree17
December 11th, 2016 1:10pm

Maybe send him a message and let him know how it makes you feel when he is ignoring you. It can feel isolating when we are ignored, it's good to speak up for yourself and let him know.

Anonymous
December 7th, 2016 2:40am

Let your boyfriend know that you feel ignored and why, and that you are telling him so that you can maybe find a way to feel better together, such as, "I feel ignored when you don't answer me back, and it makes me feel worthless. I know you probably don't intend to make me feel bad, but I'd like to find a way we can both feel better somehow." Try to stay calm, honest, and open-minded. It may be better to wait until a quiet moment to have this conversation. In moments where you feel ignored and do not feel comfortable talking to the person about it, it's okay to think it through on your own too. Recognize that you feel ignored, and think about what action or lack of action is triggering that feeling. Think about how you felt just before you perceived you were being ignored. Think about specifically what you would have liked to happen instead. These questions may provide good tools for future conversations on the subject, or they may shed light on underlying issues. Good luck! You deserve to feel heard and validated too.

amazingPuppy99
December 4th, 2016 4:19pm

Sometimes simply asking the question "Why are you ignoring me?" can open the communication to start understanding and working on solutions together.

Anonymous
December 2nd, 2016 9:06am

Two answers 1. Talk to him about it. Maybe somethings bothering him and he doesn't know how to talk about it. Or he doesn't know you're feeling ignored. 2. Maybe he needs some space, so give him the space he needs and let him contact you when he is ready.

MessengerOfPeace01
October 27th, 2016 2:28pm

Find out what you did wrong and fix it, otherwise if its something casual he is doing then just dont think about it and move on with your life normally, the truth will prevail by itself

SympatheticPrune2001
October 27th, 2016 10:22am

If it is short, everyone is busy. With work, he might be out with friends. If its long term, you might question whether he is right for you.

enchantingMist13
October 19th, 2016 12:26pm

If your boyfriend ignores you it's most likely he's got something going on in his head that makes it hard for him to focus on anything else but perhaps his thoughts or something he has to deal with- it probably isn't intentional but it's worth asking him if he's alright.

Anonymous
October 8th, 2016 1:08am

Talk to him about it. You can't expect things to work if you don't communicate. Don't assume the worst, though, you never know the potential reasons.

Anonymous
October 2nd, 2016 6:58am

Wait for him to come to you . He probably needs time to cool off . Most guys would like their space.

caringdaisy
September 25th, 2016 7:11am

You could try find out why he is ignoring you. But do not chase after him. If he ignores you while you are trying to fix things then do not keep messaging him, it can make things worse. Of course you need to understand that hes busy sometimes and thats why he ignores you and he isnt mad at you.

2cupsofteaa
September 24th, 2016 1:20am

Communicate! Ask him why he is ignoring you and perhaps you might find that he did not mean to? E.g. Life can get pretty busy sometimes.

Anonymous
September 23rd, 2016 12:43am

What I would do when my boyfriend ignores me is try and talk it out and find the reasons behind it and what may be causing it to happen and try everything in my power to try and resolve the issue if it comes down to being about me.

Anonymous
June 13th, 2016 2:21am

From my experienced, please try to understand him as well , keep the reason on your why he was ignore ? Maybe he was busy ... keep understand your partner side.. and try to talk to him about your feelings and ask him to spend some little time with you ...

Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 8:56pm

Talk to him about how you feel, if he ignores you make him talk to you. You could ignore him and that would bring his attention to you then talk to him about the problem.

MessyFox
June 9th, 2016 6:50pm

Your boyfriend should not ignore you if he does not have a decent motive. You may try to talk to him about it and tell him why does it upset you why would you like him to give you some more attention, maybe he doesnt think he is hurting you, who knows? Although, after you talk if he keeps on ignoring and does not respect you I dont think he is worth it. You deserve someone that gives you all the attention you crave and makes you feel like you are the best and most special person.

JaketheTransguyFTM
June 9th, 2016 5:49pm

You should take a step back and think about what the reasoning could be, then try to talk to him calmly.

LizardPerson
June 8th, 2016 8:12pm

Tell him how that makes you feel. Communication really is key. Being ignored is a very hard thing to deal with. Maybe he doesn't realize he is doing it and is genuinely busy. Just have a conversation with him, preferably face to face, and tell him what's up.

MissLili85
June 5th, 2016 6:10pm

Take yourself out for something special, a pedicure, a nice dinner, a movie you've wanted to see...really anything that makes you feel good! It's important that we treat ourselves well, especially when others seem to be overlooking our needs.

StormyAngles18
June 5th, 2016 2:50am

One thing you can do is bring it to his attention. Not in a mean or aggressive way but calmly and nicely bring it to his attention and tell him how it makes you feel and you and him can give eachother suggestions on how you and him can solve the issue.