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What should you do when you don't know how to figure out where you stand in other's heart?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 9:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Adam Brown, PhD, LICSW (WA & MA) LCSW (NY & IL)

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Asking for help can be a challenge, especially when feeling shameful, guilty, or embarrassed of our thoughts and/or behaviors. I am happy to support you work through this.

Top Rated Answers
CoffeeTeaAndHonesty
April 7th, 2015 2:31am
I believe this is one of those situations where you be as blunt as possible and simply ask them about it. No relationship can function without proper communication. If they can't be as straight forward back with you, then you have your answer.
acherishedParadise
January 13th, 2015 4:14pm
Give each other needed time and space whenever needed. Sometimes we interact we someone but unsure because there are always uncertainties about reciprocity and about our own selves needs and wants. To truly recognize what we seek from others and what we can offer them, takes both time and communication. Hence, in my view, identifying mutual feelings of love takes time, space and interaction, which should occur generously and selflessly and always with some degree of acceptance.
here2helpu101
August 8th, 2017 6:45pm
I always believe in asking for clarifications and to understand what someone else is feeling. If you don't know where you stand with someone, find the courage to ask them, it will either make it easier for you to get over them or get with them.
mimi19
January 26th, 2016 11:28pm
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all , they talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit ... never regret a day in your life Good days give you happiness and bad days give you experience. Both are essential in life. All are God’s blessings !!
Ana4hear
June 26th, 2018 8:32pm
It’s may be nice if you ask directly to the person. As it will be direct and clear understanding. If it is not possible use different ways like the response the person is giving, posture etc.
Bayaz
June 8th, 2015 3:01pm
Open communication is always the best practice. If you feel like a problem has arisen, it is best to discuss your feelings as open and honestly as possible.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2015 2:25pm
There are a variety of things that you can do to find out where you stand in someone else's heart. Each situation is different and I don't know the best course of action for you in particular not knowing your situation. However, here are some questions that might help you figure things out: How does this other person act around you compared to other people? Do they change their behavior around you? If they do, how does the behavior change? Are you comfortable talking with the other person you have feelings for? If you haven't talked to them before do you think you could muster up the courage to do so? Have you talked with the other person about how you feel about them? If not do you think you could? If you have what was their response? Have you asked them how they feel about you? Talking about your feelings to someone you care about can be difficult and/or scary sometimes. You might not receive the answer you would like to hear but if that's the case, you at least know where you stand with the other person and have a better sense hopefully of how to move forward from there.
Ophie
January 11th, 2015 12:49am
Talk about it! That way, there will be less misunderstandings, and if you make a decision about what to do with the relationship, you'll be better informed.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2015 7:22pm
Ever heard of a wing-man? If you have a good mutual friend, maybe you can ask them to help you out and ask the person for you. But really, the more people involved, the more tangled the communication. So if you REALLY want to know where you stand, you should just ask. But prepare yourself
librabrandi89
May 5th, 2015 6:01pm
I would open an honest dialogue with them, you will need to prepare yourself for their honest answer. Ask them to be genuine and straightforward with you. Remember to stay calm but in command of your own feelings. Good luck! Namaste! - Brandi
YggdrasilsMender
October 24th, 2016 4:07pm
This is going to be a dumb answer, but try asking someone close to them, like a parent, a sibling, or a friend. Asking the person them self might be a bit akward.
sereneHoliday44
May 8th, 2017 4:45am
One way to do it is to ask a straight forward question. But you would have to ratify the answer based upon the actions of the person when it comes to you. Another way is to observe the subtle things that transpire between the two of you. There are so many non verbal messages that get passed between two persons one should learn to read them.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2020 8:06pm
When you do not know where you stand in another person’s heart, you must tell them how you feel in a straightforward and calm manner. Understand some people may not understand how you feel unless you communicate with them your emotions. They may not know how they feel as well, so have patience and be understanding with their situation. Communicating your feelings let’s both sides understand what is going on with mentally with the other person. It is important to consider how they feel when talking with them. Sometimes people go through emotions and events they do not understand which may cause them to be frustrated and confused with other things going on in their life. Always communicate how you feel because communication may help you understand what you feel, what you are going through and how it affects others in your life.
HennaHeARTs
July 20th, 2020 9:16pm
I would suggest communicating with that person directly. I know it sounds scary. As great as it would be to have superpowers, we cant read their mind. The next best thing is to just ask them directly. The answer may not be exactly what you wanted to hear, but it's better to know than to stay in this endless state of confusion and uncertainty. "What if" statements do not help. Instead they have the potential to hurt us further in the long run. Be confident and direct and get the closure and peace of mind you deserve. Good Luck!