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What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?

135 Answers
Last Updated: 12/04/2021 at 7:04am
What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
August 17th, 2016 7:51am
Happiness is one of the things that make us move forward, that motivates us to continue in our lives. When we are happy in doing something or as a result of doing something, it is usually (but not always the case)-- there are so many definitions out there of happiness as it is really a fluid idea but real happiness is an indicator that what we are doing is good for us. I believe that we are not meant to live unhappy lives. If we are designed to be unhappy, what is the point of our lives then? Happiness leads us to the point of living.
August 28th, 2016 2:18pm
If you don't want it that is up to you. So there is no point if you don't want it. There is no point trying to convince someone to want happiness if it's not what they actually want. This question is pretty stupid.
September 11th, 2016 8:45am
Because when you are unhappy, it creates negative energy to everyone around you. Life is filled with happiness, some people just have to search to find it.
September 14th, 2016 8:08am
It's the same as day after a night. Without the former, you can't tell when the latter has come or gone. Similarly, happiness is crucial for unhappiness. We all need a point of reference. Even if, it's relative.
September 16th, 2016 10:37pm
The point is if you are happy other people are happy too that means there will be no arguments between people.
September 17th, 2016 4:16am
Not everyone enjoys happiness; just like how some people prefer winter over the summer. Happiness brings joy to many people and it takes their mind away from negativity. There are many emotions that a human can feel and happiness doesn't have to be one of them.
September 25th, 2016 11:56pm
only you or the person could have happiness and your opinions may change at some point when you start to feel it
September 28th, 2016 11:10pm
I think happiness is a fleeting state of mind. It's hard to maintain, and if you don't get it you're "unhappy"? Also what would make you "happy" anyway? How about being grateful instead and thinking positively. Counting your blessings, and looking at your daily life of things you're grateful for i.e. friends, relationships, you doing something nice for others or vice versa etc. That state of mind alone can change your attitude in the long run.
October 5th, 2016 8:22pm
Happiness is a natural feeling that can help us get through difficult times. It can occur whether we want it or not.
October 9th, 2016 8:39pm
Even if you feel like you dont want happiness, like all humans you really do, it will come naturaly.
November 3rd, 2016 10:13am
It's a motivation for you to be alive. I mean do you really want to be sad? And live your life like a zombie?
December 30th, 2016 9:19pm
It helps you even when you don't acknowledge it, by manipulating your choices subconsciously in a positive way. It increases productivity, efficiency and the morale of everyone around you in a not only painless but rewarding way.
January 4th, 2017 7:39pm
Everything in life will float on so much more easily if you are happy. I'm free from my depression now. But after having depression for 6 years I must say sometimes I miss it. BUT everything is so much easier now. I can do everything I want, depression or sadness wont stop me from doing what I want ever again. So to make a long story short - Being happy helps out so much. Everything becomes easier. Everything.
January 8th, 2017 9:16pm
The point of happiness even if I don't want it is a break from all the rough spots in life. They can really beat us down and hurt us so we feel like we can't carry on anymore but if we get a glimmer of happiness when we are at out lowest and mad at the world it can help us get up and carry on even if we don't want to.
February 1st, 2017 1:52am
There isn't any point of happiness beyond what meaning each individual gives it. Scientifically happiness is linked to dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. If you don't want happiness then you don't need to experience it, although it can improve both physical and mental well-being and contribute to a more pleasurable life. Ask yourself why you don't want to be happy. Is it due to a mental illness like Depression or past negative experiences? Some people say they don't want to be happy, but what they mean is that they want to preserve their feelings because they're scared of being happy. They feel that their happiness could be taken away from them at any second, so they'd rather not risk it. If not being happy is truly what you want and there isn't any past trauma associated with your feelings, then there's no reason why you should force yourself to try to be happy. Feel whatever you want to feel and be whatever you want to be!
March 10th, 2017 2:35am
If you do not want it, then one can say that there is no point in happiness FOR you. However, happiness exists in the world regardless of you wanting it. Happiness is created, shared, and treasured by people who do want it. To a lot of people, happiness is the ultimate form of fulfillment in life. Life is terribly short and many people would rather live out our numbered days being happy. If you don't want it, then there simply is no point in it for you.
March 24th, 2017 10:55am
The strange thing about happiness is while we can physically and consciously think we don't want to 'be happy', the feeling of happiness is something our body and mind scientifically enjoy and yearn for. We can't force ourselves to actively seek happiness but to say the feeling of happiness has no point would be wrong, when we have happiness our minds feel energised, immersed etc. It's something that's naturally comforting to our mind and to our soul, Like physical contact and hugs, happiness is something the human body needs or else we might find ourselves in a slump!
April 2nd, 2017 4:33am
If you don't want happiness, what do you want? Do you want fulfillment or excitement in your life? It's okay if you don't want happiness. I think it would be helpful to figure out what you do want so you can take steps towards getting it.
April 5th, 2017 12:49am
You don't have to be happy all the time. you need to have your breakdowns because it lets out all negative feelings you have.
April 20th, 2017 11:14am
I don't think that you really don't want happiness. Maybe you don't want the things people say you need to be happy, such as a spouse and children. Just enjoy the little things and you will find you do want to be happy.
June 22nd, 2017 6:32pm
The point of happiness is to live and lead a life that you can be proud of. Always choose happiness.
July 15th, 2017 2:17am
Happiness can still be something that you want in the future, maybe having it now wouldn't be such a bad idea.
July 23rd, 2017 1:36pm
The first thing you need to ask yourself is why don't you want happiness. Is there a reason that you think that you do not deserve to be happy? Happiness is not full-on laughter, but rather a mental, physical, and emotional condition of being at ease with who you are, where you are. It is rooted from being grateful for what you have and knowing what you want next.
August 6th, 2017 7:18pm
I don't see one does not want happiness. We all strive to be happy and/or satisfied with our life. Living a life in constant misery, we're not living life to the fullest. We only have one life, so why not live it with being happy? I know it can be hard, especially with depression.
August 9th, 2017 9:20pm
If you don't want it, it isn't happiness, right? Happiness is not a specific fixed thing. It's whatever you want. If you want nothing, then there is no happiness. But that gives you something better: a purpose. Find something you want, change things in your life, do something new, whatever. When you don't care a thing about anything, you can do anything, you can become anything. Life becomes just an experiment, a game. Forget about happiness and just live day by day.
August 17th, 2017 9:20pm
I think it's important to assess what you *do* want. If the traditional sense of "happiness" isn't something that appeals to you- what does? Your definition of happiness might look completely different from someone else's. I think ultimately, we all want to feel safe and seen. Maybe your version of happiness includes just that.
September 21st, 2017 4:14am
If you focus on a single cell in the human body, you will see that it is both violent and inherently meaningless on its own. It, by itself, contributes virtually nothing, and it will soon multiply and die. When we decrease the magnification, we see that those trillions of meaningless things make up you, a vastly more complex organism. So it is, when you focus on a single part of your own experience, it feels meaningless. Look at the whole "you" and you find that you are made up of much more than just happiness, or a lack thereof. There is no point to happiness in the first place, but take into context all the times you've felt it, why you felt it, all the other feelings you have when happiness isn't there, and suddenly it feels much more meaningful.
September 27th, 2017 2:07pm
Happiness is not something we choose to have. We feel sometimes that we don't deserve the happiness or we are consumed in our problems that we ignore the happiness coming our way. When you feel this way then remember that somewhere someone wants a small ray of happiness, a small ray of hope, a small ray of kindness and you are just throwing it away because you don't want it. Respect and love the things that is good for you because when you really need it and when you don't get it then you will feel completely devastated.
October 12th, 2017 6:21pm
The point to happiness if you don't want it is to help guide you in a direction of your own type of fulfillment. If you dont want to be happy, then what is there about you that sees fulfillment out of life? That brings joy to you even at the darkest of times; start from there and make your way up. What is it about happiness that you dont want?
November 8th, 2017 10:00pm
Once you have it, you'll realize that you did want it after all. Happiness is different from contentment. You may be content with unhappiness, but once you remember what true happiness is like, it becomes hard to be content without it.