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Why can I help everyone but myself?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 06/30/2020 at 4:13am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
June 22nd, 2015 8:13am
Because it's easier to give advice than to follow it. It's also easier to help others because your judgment is less clouded and you can think clearer. Helping ourselves is the hardest thing, it takes a lot of effort.
February 16th, 2015 7:52pm
I care deeply about everyone who needs support. I don't judge them, and I wish only the best for them. But when it comes to myself, I think of all my flaws first, and I think of what I haven't been able to do in the past. This clouds my ability to allow myself to find positive ways to change the things that make me unhappy.
November 24th, 2015 10:43pm
For me the answer can only be answered by the individual, in this case me, I can't answer for you. All I know is that to help myself I first need to feel capable and worthy of being helped. To me this is linked with whether or not I can accept help, and to accept help I need to feel a sense of connection with myself. To find connection with myself I need to find time to be with myself, to accept the silence in my heart; the imperfections, the failings, the highs and the lows. To truly help I need to feel worthy of being helped myself. Peace.
May 30th, 2015 11:57pm
This is the "can't see the forest for the trees" effect. Being social animals, we need the help of others to guide us through things. When we are stuck in something emotionally, it's often difficult to see the way out in a reasonable manner. We need others to help us sort out the emotions of the matter and get through it. This is perfectly normal and everyone gets this way from time to time!
July 14th, 2015 6:19am
Sometimes people help others because they are too afraid to help themselves. Is a therapy for them. This does not mean what you are doing is wrong. It just means that you need to know that you are worthy too. Just as equal as the person you are helping.
June 22nd, 2015 1:34am
As humans, we are GREAT at nurturing others, and putting ourselves on the back burner. We naturally don't think highly of ourselves over everyone else.
April 30th, 2018 11:46am
Helping other people is easy. Being able to accept yourself for who you are and take your own advice is hard. For me, helping others gives me a sense of hope, so it is benefical. I do have my own struggles though, and often times it is hard to help myself. That's why you need to be brave just like each person on here has and reach out for help when you need it, regardless of if you consider yourself a helpful person or not. c: I commend you for asking this question, that's already the first step. It's time to take the second one. You can do it!
June 7th, 2015 4:10pm
Just because you see what others do wrong in their life, doesn't mean you see what you do wrong yourself. That's like children complaining about their siblings annoying them; they only see that they were being harmed, not that they may have started the fight. Reflecting yourself is something you have to learn and most importantly practice. Never stop asking yourself questions!
November 8th, 2016 4:15pm
Self-love is something that's hard to express. I know that I struggle with it. When you've been beaten down so many times, it's hard to convince yourself that you're NOT the problem, that others are right about you. But, lets be real, when we are surrounded by people that put us down, that don't care for us, that don't show love, it's hard to love yourself, to help yourself.
May 7th, 2015 5:09am
I feel when your helping everyone else, especially on here as I listener I have been helping myself and working through my issues as I am helping them.
April 17th, 2015 11:07pm
Those people need another person to hold their hand. For you, there can always be someone else holding your hand and supporting you.
February 22nd, 2016 6:45pm
Because when it comes to other people's situations, we have an un-biased objective point of view. We have a fresh outlook on other's pains and sufferings whereas we're right in the middle of our own- we're overwhelmed with our problems which makes them so hard to deal with whereas when you see someone else's, being an outside party makes it easier to have a clear view of them .
August 5th, 2015 11:02pm
I have had to ask myself the same question and I'm still wondering why. I am always able to help everyone else, but when it comes to myself, I can't take my own advice for some reason. Maybe it's because we need other's to tell us exactly what we would tell them if they were facing the same obstacles that we were/are in our own situations or it can be becase we just don't want to accept or have to make certain decisions.
March 18th, 2015 1:02pm
it is much easier to offer advice than to take it. Most of us know right from wrong, but we still make mistakes which is human nature
September 19th, 2016 6:55pm
What I learned so far is that you can be objective to the problems people around you have but when it comes to yourself, you tend to be more harsh, less patient. Sometimes you're not meant to do it on your own, the way that you can help others goes the other wasy around too.
January 29th, 2015 1:44am
It takes time, I have found that by helping others, and listening to them it helps me identify unhealthy thought patterns, bad habits and other character weaknesses I want to work on.
June 30th, 2020 4:13am
When helping others you are more distanced from the situation. It's easier to think through it and come to a solution. When helping yourself, it is a lot harder to think rationally, especially when overcome by emotions. When you and the people you love are involved in a situation it can be difficult to deal with your emotions and can become easier to do nothing. When you are less involved, it can be easier to logically work through the best course of action. So I guess the reason it is easier to help others is because you can separate yourself from the situation.
November 23rd, 2015 7:46pm
Do you feel as though you help everyone but yourself? That can be a tough situation- I think many people would feel the same way.
March 7th, 2016 8:45am
Practice self love, That is what helps. You probably need more introspection and reflection. Not knowing how to help yourself is indicative of needing more time and reflection for yourself.
January 16th, 2018 10:46am
it is easier to listen to others and look at their issues objectively without letting feelings cloud our judgment, However when it is our own problem, we tend to be overwhelmed by our feelings and not able to think things properly.
June 12th, 2015 1:03am
It's difficult to see the forest when you are in the forest. In general, it is easier to see an objective answer to a problem from the outside. But when you are in the middle of it, it can be difficult to see a simple, objective answer for yourself.
August 3rd, 2015 9:24am
I can help everyone but myself because maybe I was frustrated by the thoughts of my problems. It sucks really, not to be able to help yourself. But once I embraced my problems, and accepted them and believed in myself, I actually did help myself.
February 16th, 2016 4:27pm
well i will try to give best of myself. i will achieve what i always wanted and try to overcome al the obstacles. whenever i fell demotivated i try to imagine my life in place of the ones whom i think as my rolecmodels and wont give up!
- Expert in Managing Emotions
March 22nd, 2016 3:06am
Its easier helping everyone else because you just have to tell them what it is and help them understand it. But when it is yourself, its not easy for you to convince yourself that it is how it is unless someone tells u so. Some people also find the joy in helping others, they feel better just by helping others. That can also be a possibility.
October 17th, 2016 8:32pm
Because it's easier to solve problems for other people then ourselves . I know this firsthand . All my friends turn to me for advice but I can't really help myself when I need it . It's our human nature . Sometimes we need to rely on others when we feel down .
January 17th, 2017 2:14pm
It's so much harder to help yourself. When you help others, your mood improves because you are making a positive difference in someone's life. But when you help yourself, you feel selfish because you could be helping others instead.