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Why can I never cry when I want to?

11 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2018 at 3:39pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
March 4th, 2015 9:56am
Sometimes we get so emotionally overloaded by the sheer magnitude of emotions we are feeling that we become numb, frozen, and in that place out tears are locked inside our hearts. We want the relief of tears but we cannot get there. Sometimes focusing on a specific emotional thought, video, memory, event, or photo can act as the trigger for release.
June 4th, 2015 11:09pm
I've learned that it's hardest when I want to cry. Mostly because tears are uncontrollable, they come when they want. Sometimes I end up sitting on my bed at night, crying, without tears. Just uncontrollable sobs. Without tears, it's definitely harder to cry. You feel horrible. I'm sorry to anyone who shares my problem.
May 5th, 2015 9:04pm
Not crying means that you just have other ways of expressing your feelings,not crying does not reflect the emotions you are feeling.
October 27th, 2015 6:49pm
Sometimes we feel strongly about something but there is a delay in our ability to respond. Is this what you describe?
August 5th, 2015 11:06pm
Well, I think we all can cry when we least expect to, but when you actually want to cry it can become difficult. I have wanted to cry a lot and especially now that I'm having a lot of issues of my own, but I just couldn't and I think that's because I was all cried out. I cried enough already to the point where I couldn't cry anymore even though I was still upset and fragile on the inside.
April 7th, 2015 3:47am
Because it's something that you can't control, Because it's an automatic response to a certain situation.
May 20th, 2015 4:12am
Our bodies react differently compared to others. There might be some a dominant stress taking over you. Sometimes worrying to much plays a big role. It can also be a genetic situation .
July 14th, 2015 11:07pm
Perhaps you've cried so much that you just can't any more. Your mind's had enough of crying. Maybe you've cried so much about certain things that you've become emotionally detached from that memory. Maybe you can't cry any more if you've done nothing but mourn.
May 16th, 2017 4:23pm
We're not really meant to do anything on command. It's usually pretty difficult for some people to urinate in a cup because they're basically being told by their doctor that they need them to pee when they tell them to. This can be applied to most situations. If you need to cry for a play you're in, it will most likely be hard for you because your body isn't meant to do things like that on command. It's supposed to come naturally. You cry when you heart aches or when your mind just won't stop worrying and replaying awful memories, you don't cry because you "want to" or "need to".
June 19th, 2017 10:29pm
Tears can be a natural reaction of the body, Sometimes we hold things inside because there are either emotional or physical walls. We can be gripping somewhere in the body that prevents us from relaxing enough to let the tears flow. Try relating exercises, to stretch the body and relax the nervous system. Yoga is absolutely amazing to release emotions.
March 27th, 2018 3:39pm
Because concealed sadness and pains conceals our tears also. It causes urge to move on by altering tears into loss of a smiling face.