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Why can't I just be normal and not have to put so much effort in to manage my emotions?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 03/24/2020 at 8:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
June 5th, 2015 12:18am
Sometimes not being normal is a good thing, be yourself and love who you are. You are amazing being yourself.
February 28th, 2015 10:54pm
The important thing to understand, first is that "normal" doesnt exist. We are ALL different, unique, quirky and weird in our own way. When we can accept that about ourselves and come to terms with our emotions, only then can we better learn to accept and love and understand each other and not discriminate. There IS help, but every one has their own way of dealing with their emotions, you just have to find yours. Mine is music and writing.
June 2nd, 2015 8:45pm
Managing your emotions is a continued process that will be lifelong. There is no easy way to tell you how to manage your emotions, there are many different options that work differently depending on the person. Based on my experience there is no "normal" way to manage your emotions. One of the most common ways that I find are helpful to identifying emotions and managing them is a feelings journal, this can be helpful to identify potential patterns in thinking and triggers to certain emotions.
June 18th, 2015 2:07am
There are many more people that drag these thoughts around with them than you'd think. Many workers, professionals, and other people living their lives fight to keep heavy sadness, anger, and fear under wraps. The key isn't to have no negative emotions, because this is something nearly nobody will ever be able to achieve. The key is to enjoy your life despite emotions trying to bog you down. Going back to the question, what is 'normal'? Is normal not having to put in effort to control negative feelings? Because from what I've seen in so many people, that sounds like the opposite of normal.
February 25th, 2015 8:29pm
Hey there, it's perfectly okay to have put a bit more effort in controlling how you feel. We're not all perfect and each one of us has something that we need to work on, there's nothing shameful about that at all! :) How have you tried to manage your emotions? Do you think it's been successful?
April 12th, 2015 5:39pm
you are normal, no worries :) everyone has trouble with their emotions sometimes and that's absolutely fine, some people are better at hiding it, however everyone experiences emotions they do not enjoy dealing with
March 28th, 2016 3:39am
No-ones perfect, I understand how you feel. Once in everyone's life someone doesn't feel normal. In fact I don't feel normal either, but I embrace it because no-one is quite like you.
May 24th, 2016 2:53pm
Why can't I just be normal and not have to put so much effort into managing my emotions? Maybe because I have to deal with depression on an daily basis as well as anxiety. It sets me up for quite a roller coaster in life, I must admit that. I'm glad though to have such a supportive community here on 7Cups and it helps me with my emotions a bunch. Thanks you guys! :)
- Expert in Managing Emotions
August 16th, 2016 9:17am
Whose to say what is normal. Just because everyone acts alike they say that thats normal. But then again isn't it boring too. Everyone has issues that they deal with. Emotions just happens to be yours. Emotions are meant to be dealt with not shut down or controlled.
April 24th, 2017 3:04pm
You are normal, my friend. And as you say, you've been trying hard. It may actually not be about pushing but about accepting your emotions as they arise and being kind to yourself while feeling them. That's how we hold space to understand the message emotions convey, and take decisions on how to care for ourselves. Have you considered practicing mindful meditation?
January 16th, 2017 1:54am
Amen! I wish the exact same thing sometimes. Emotions are draining and confusing and complicated. Honestly sometimes I re-watch Inside Out because I have to remind myself that messy emotions are normal for everyone. Still sucks sometimes, but it's also comforting to know I'm not alone.
November 9th, 2017 5:43am
Listen I know just what your feeling but you need to get.over it trust me ok sit down in total silence and complete.darkness and realise what you feel deep inside side then ask for help with it
January 30th, 2018 4:34am
Normal is an illusion. No one is normal and no one is perfect. Managing your emotions may seem like an impossible tax and so hard but with the proper help you can overcome it.
July 2nd, 2018 3:34pm
Honestly, no one is exactly normal~ We all have to put in effort to be able to manage our emotions! You arent alone~
March 24th, 2020 8:04pm
I know it is hard to handle emotions, when they can be so prevalent. This first thing to do is not label your self as "abnormal but rather you should practice self-love. Personally, I would find myself overwhelmed with my own emotions because everything I thought, did, or said would be based off of my feelings. My feelings held the reigns, and that is not always a good thing because then I would start to value feelings over fact. I started to practice mindfulness. Every time my emotions would start to knock down the door, I would take a step back and step outside of what I was feeling. I began to ask questions like, "Is what I am feeling justified?" and if it wasn't I would try my best to talk myself from overreacting. It is important to remember that it is not a bad thing to be sensitive and have a sea of emotions. But it is in your best interest that you practice self control, and through out the day keep track of your thoughts. I hope this helped.