Why do I always go from one extreme to the other? Why can't I just be normal?
Last Updated: 02/26/2018 at 9:02pm
Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.
Top Rated Answers
Being normal is overrated. Being extreme just means you have strong emotions/opinions and there is nothing wrong with that. Extremes are what people remember, no one complains or compliments about things they don't notice. Going from one extreme to the other is actually normal; everyone does it, most people just have different extremes.
Sometimes it's easy to view the world as "black" and "white" aka "all good" or "all bad". A lot of people do it. I know that a way that I have learned to overcome this thinking error is to stop myself and ask "Where's the middle ground?" I even let myself come up with crazy explanations until I come to a middle ground that makes sense.
Maybe you want to be a moderate person, and that what you think is normal. Sometimes, extremes can be good or bad. Well, you want to be just normal. If so, moderation is the key. The problem is to be able to be in the middle of two extremes, you must know your scale. You must know the your limits of self-control. For example, you tend to despair deeply when you are sad. You can try to scale your experience from 1-10. 10 is the worst feeling ever while 5 and below is manageable. Try understanding the situation more to moderate your emotions. Or you can go from 10 then 9 the 8 and so on. Being in an extreme is not always a good or a bad thing. Some times, it's just that. Extreme. It's part of being human. I wish you well.
Perhaps, there is no normal. Perhaps normal is a word, an explanation, that we built ourselves. Maybe being extreme - maybe there's nothing wrong with that. After all, you're you, and that's the best thing you can be.
From the way you have stated your concern, it sounds as though you could possibly be bipolar. As usual, I always suggest going to see a professional such as a doctor about your issues as we can only state our experiences but what we experience and what you experience can be completely different. Whenever you're worried about your health, it's best not to research it too much as it can make you have irrational thoughts and panic about what the problem could be. Always consult your GP when it comes to your health; it will be the most accurate and factual answer you will get.
There are various diagnosable mood disorders that define this sort of behavior, but a lot of times, it's that you are trying to hold it together but when 10 is losing your cool and emotionally you are already at 9, it only takes a very small irritation of some sort to push you towards losing your temper. The guidance to recover is to always attempt to be self aware. I have a condition that does put me at level 9 sometimes, but I have grown to recognize it, own it, and even tell loved ones about it. When this happens I tell my partner "Today I may be a bit moody. Please support me" and they understand. If I am dreading a visit or an upcoming event, I will process that dread and try to keep my "Rest" emotional state as low as possible, if that makes any sense.
you should know.. no 1 is normal... and being extreem may be a form of expressing yourself. people would want to be like you but they cannot.. true you should learn your own limits but sure thing is being extreme should make you confident
This can be caused my many things. If you're like me, I have Bipolar Disorder, I can go from very happy to extremely angry in 5 seconds! If I'm not on my medication, for a week or two I'll be extremely happy, full of energy, spontaneous. This is the manic stage. Then comes the crash from mania and I'll fall into a very deep depressive state. I've managed my disorder with the proper medications and I am normal.
There is no normal. We all live on a spectrum of up/down, happy/sad, calm/excitable, insecure/confident, giving/selfish, etc. We can learn to even out our emotions and live in a smaller swing on that spectrum but having extremes is very normal. Life without some extremes is boring!
You might be seeking things to feel the void you feel or distract yourself from your problems instead of facing them.
Going from an extreme to the other might be a sign of bipolar disorder. Please read about it or consult a specialist
Whether you go from one extreme to another, or don't change at all doesn't define whether you are normal or not, because normal doesn't exist. Going from one extreme to another could be symptoms of an anxiety or even OCD. You might want to look into getting a therapist if you have emotional issues
Related Questions: Why do I always go from one extreme to the other? Why can't I just be normal?
I have very rapid mood swings, what's the best way to manage them so no one gets hurt?I find myself thinking of people as useless and tedious. What's wrong with me?Why do I feel worse after crying?Are psychopaths necessarily bad people? What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?Am I depressed or just sensitive? How do you know if you're truly happy?I can't stop crying for days on end. What do I do?Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?How do I prevent negative thinking?