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Why do I constantly look down on myself, even when I am doing the right thing?

12 Answers
Last Updated: 09/01/2020 at 7:58pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor

Licensed Professional Counselor

I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
March 17th, 2015 1:42am
With the way our brains are wired, negative experiences and thought patterns are much more pervasive than positive ones because we tend to think them more frequently. Social norms have taught us to focus on the negative aspects about ourselves and to strive to do better without rewarding ourselves for the things we do well, so it's easy to not pay attention to what we're doing right and only see the negatives. We also tend to compare ourselves to others, which can make it incredibly difficult to see our own achievements when someone else is ahead of where we are in life. It's much easier to criticize ourselves than it is to notice and appreciate the things we do well because the negatives can and tend to draw more attention, or can very much feel that way. From there, it's easy to beat yourself up over what you did wrong than take a moment to reflect and think about what you didn't do badly. We're conditioned to think "that was bad, why did you do that?" rather than "how could I learn from this and use it to improve?"
March 7th, 2017 9:05am
Sometimes, something has happened that made us lose our ability to trust ourselves. We're all born happy and confident, but life happens and some of us lose that. Then, even when we're doing so well, we still feel like a failure, and even though we know rationally that it isn't true, we believe it anyway. The key thing is to realise that all those terrible thoughts and harsh criticism aren't real, because they are caused by something we cannot control, a part of our psyche that was damaged in the past. Or perhaps it's not a lack of self esteem, but the subconscious telling us that what we consider 'right' may not be right at all. Perhaps we secretly disagree with a decision we've made, but squash down the doubt because any other way is 'wrong'. The mind can lie to us, but the heart cannot. We might have forgotten about the heart, and the constant doubt is a sign that we're ignoring a vital part of ourselves.
April 27th, 2015 5:06am
You look down on yourself because either you are a perfectionist, or someone doesn't like what you are doing. If it is because you are a perfectionist, then you need to realize that it is impossible to become perfect. Doing the right thing is good, and it is good enough. If someone doesn't like that you are doing the right thing, then you need to see that you need to stick up for yourself and what is right and I promise you will always be happier in the end.
- Expert in Managing Emotions
August 1st, 2016 8:22am
It could be that there is someone in your life who is close to you that always made you feel like you are less than you are. You are who you think you should be and you will attract people who u think should be around you.
March 30th, 2015 7:42pm
Because in your head, what you think will never be good enough and you doubt yourself. But what should console you is the fact that your trying to do the right thing.
June 23rd, 2015 12:03pm
Because our worst enemy is ourselves. Once we learn to take advantage of that no one including ourselves can harm us.
May 7th, 2018 10:29pm
Probably coz you’re waiting for results or a sign to keep going, as long as you’re doing the right thing, don’t look back. Sometimes, there aren‘t only external distractions but internal distractions as well , the mind sometimes discharges from positive vibes and needs to recharge again, but you don’t need someone to give you a pat in the back to appreciate your efforts, you can do it too to yourself : Visualize as if your soul is divided by two; one that’s hurting , doubting... and the other half is the supporter motivator, treat yourself just like you would to a friend. Deep inside you there is another you relying on you ✨
February 8th, 2016 3:15pm
You seem to need a boost in self-esteem. If you love and accept yourself you won't be too harsh on yourself that often. Self-compassion is very important!(:
May 25th, 2015 2:58am
I think we all tend to do this sometimes, myself, most of the time! I think that self compassion, that acknowledging that it's hard to be human sometimes and that we're totally not alone in feeling that way helps.
May 27th, 2015 11:05am
You need to open yourself up and build up your self-esteem. If you have close friends, spend more time with them to cheer yourself up.
February 16th, 2016 9:13am
I doubt myself. It's sometimes difficult to do the right thing because it seems like everybody else is doing the wrong thing. It feels like society therefore rewards doing the wrong thing, Consequently you look down on yourself because you feel society is not backing you.
September 1st, 2020 7:58pm
When you are doing the right thing, and you still feel like you're looking down on yourself, it's just fear. Fear you aren't doing it right, and that some one will point it out maybe. You just feel like something was wrong, or maybe one person wont agree or like what you're doing. It's definitely okay to feel like you're wrong. Everybody feels like they need acceptance, or like they're doing something wrong. You can have a short talk with anybody about that, the feeling of being heard is just amazing. It's just beyond word, beyond images, just amazing. I know exactly what you mean.