Why do I feel bad when someone does something nice for me, specially if they buy me gifts?

120 Answers
Last Updated: 07/04/2019 at 1:08pm
Why do I feel bad when someone does something nice for me, specially if they buy me gifts?
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Top Rated Answers
mywhispersscreamed3201
October 26th, 2016 10:19pm
You may have not a very high self-esteem, so you do not believe you deserve it. Working on accepting yourself, and loving who you are may help with the acceptance of gifts.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2016 3:49am
Maybe you are just being to harsh on yourself? Sometimes we all have feelings, for one reason or another. The best thing you could do is to have a sit down conversation with a trusted adult about your feelings. Perhaps that may help you?
blueberry246
February 24th, 2017 2:22pm
Some pepole just don't like being dependant on other people even if it's just a gift .also some fell insecure and don't accept it or they don't want to bother anyone
Will387
March 15th, 2017 6:03am
There are various reasons as to why this may happen. Sometimes we may have bad experiences during childhood which manifest themselves as insecurity, which may drive us to think that we're not worthy of receiving this affection. It's important to remember, that different people have different perspectives, and one must keep an open mind about what others think; if someone does something nice to you, it's likely that they see you as a friend, or that they trust you.
FabulousPiggy
May 22nd, 2017 4:54pm
It is completely natural to feel bad abut this kind of thing, as you may not feel as if you deserve it. However, if this person as done this for you, then they more often than not must feel like you deserve it for something, even if it's just something as simple as being their friend.
intoxicatedwriter
June 25th, 2017 4:52pm
You may feel bad because you feel like you aren't getting them something in return for buying the gifts or because you feel selfish that you are getting all these gifts when no one else is or simply just not being used to getting gifts can make you feel bad because sometimes we feel like we don't deserve it.
TheZu
August 10th, 2017 8:57pm
As how it goes for my own likings, this may be due to your independent nature of being so adapted not to rely on others when it comes to self-care and empowerment. It takes practices so embrace this beauty step by step at your convenient quantum =]
capucinec
August 11th, 2017 6:28pm
Because you feel like you don't deserve it. They went out of their way to do something special for you, not for anything in return, no. Because they truly like you and you are imbued in their thoughts. Here's a tip: if you ever feel like you're not special, look at the people buying you gifts. Look at the people you call a friend. Look at you family. Can you honestly tell me that they too, believe you're not special and that you don't deserve every good thing coming your way?
thinkfeelsolve
August 20th, 2017 11:32am
Could be because you have a wall built around you and you may not believe that ppl could actually do good things for you.and it may make you feel indebted.
calmZebra60
August 23rd, 2017 9:19pm
Do you suffer from low-self esteem? WHether it is highly visible or it is dormant and held together by negative core beliefs, low self-esteem can make it difficult to accept things. We might feel that we are not worthy or deserving; maybe that we haven't earned it, or it is too much, etc. But these things are untrue. Receiving niceties from others is a part of self care in the social circle and should serve to build oneself up.
Emnox
September 13th, 2017 4:42pm
You have too much of a mixture between self-pity and self-judgement, which brings you to the point where you feel bad for them because they care about you, and you feel like it's a waste of attention. Maybe, you reach the point where you feel that the other person is better than you, for caring more about you, than yourself. Of course the exact opposite could also be the case.
NordligSno
September 21st, 2017 5:04pm
I have it the same way and I know many that feels that way aswell. It's usually based on what you're used to or not. Did you recieve things as younger or is it still unusual to you? Do you feel as if you owe them something in return or guilty for accepting? Figure out what's running through your head when it happens, think "Is this really that bad" or tell them that you feel that way. :) Good luck.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2017 3:50am
Often it is due to low self-esteem, when you can't consider yourself worth it, worth their care and love. Learning to love yourself and accept your flaws are some ways to deal with it.
ajj23
November 15th, 2017 1:19pm
This may be because you are unable, or are restricted in your ability to do something nice for that person in return. It's always nice to be treated well, and if anything, take this opportunity to think about how much happier we would be if we all paid each other compliments and bought little gifts of appreciation for each other. You don't have to buy gifts of course, many acts of kindness can cost nothing!
PedroMAlves1992
November 16th, 2017 7:21pm
You may think immediately that you now owe that person something as well and might not want/cannot retribute the favor or, more importantly, that for some reason you do not deserve the appreciation received (e.g gift), therefore you feel bad for accepting.
Anonymous
November 17th, 2017 5:19am
Because it feels like i must do something in return for them and i sometimes dont know what to do to make it up for them
Averyisheretohelp
November 19th, 2017 6:40pm
This could possibly be a result of subconsciously feeling unworthy of kindness. Sometimes, particularly people that have been abused or traumatized, it can be hard for the brain to accept kindness, as weird as that sounds. Understand that your feelings are completely okay, but that it is also okay to show that person appreciation and thank them for what they have done.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 4:10am
It's normal! It's hard because you don't really know what to do when someone says they bought you something, you feel bad that someone spent their hard earned money! But I completely understand
Anonymous
December 10th, 2017 1:30am
You feel bad because you feel like you are undeserving of that gift and you're not worthy enough of it.
Anonymous
January 8th, 2018 11:19pm
Because it often gives you a sense of not being worthy of the gift and also engenders the feeling that you are now beholding to them -- both of which make you embarrassed. Receiving a gift gracefully is far harder than giving a gift . And its quite common-- to be honest , I've never mastered it myself ...
ChaiTeaLate1988
January 29th, 2018 6:17pm
I once read that we can only accept the love and gratitude you think you deserve. Could it be that you think that you don't deserve it?
Zizi2906
March 2nd, 2018 3:16am
It's generally hard for someone to accept a gift without a reason such as birthdays, Christmas, etc. Because we feel undeserving of the gift. We are caught off guard as well as we did not get the person something in return, making us feel like we are in some way using them
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 3:20pm
If you feel bad when someone does something nice for you, specially if they buy you gifts will because you think they are buying you it in return you can forgive their actions or they just want to do something kind so you will feel good about as well as the one who bought it.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 9:07am
Because you're a giver not a taker. You're probably not used to receiving gifts from people and that's ok. You might feel bad for people doing things for you because you may not be able to return the favor and that's alright.
Brittany8013
March 22nd, 2018 9:24pm
This is a Brilliant question, I myself, struggle with this as well. I have learned that it is because we do not feel deserving. we perceive it as the "giver" wasting resources on us, which isn't the case at all.
tiredsnail
March 31st, 2018 6:51pm
You may feel undeserving of those gifts. However, it is nothing to feel guilty about. People give you gifts because you have earned them.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2018 3:07am
When someone does something nice for us, we may feel bad about if we don't truly think we deserve it. We may not fully believe that we are worth receiving the love, the gift, or the help. These feelings could be more obvious to us, where we admit that we "don't deserve it", or they may be more subtle where we find ourselves doubting "why would anyone want to do this for ME? I'm nothing special!"
Anonymous
April 6th, 2018 5:26am
You may feel bad because you either may not know the person well, so you don’t feel comfortable spending their money. Or in the contrary you could know someone so well that you feel guilty spending their money after all they’ve done for you
crispEagle45
April 7th, 2018 7:39pm
It may be because you don't like it. Sometimes, it can be associated with a problem during childhood.
kindHand56
April 14th, 2018 10:28am
It sounds like you don't have any self-esteem, which is probably the reason why you feel guilty when people treat you with things. Look at positive and self love affirmations, they'll help you. Don't worry, you can get better at this, you just have to practice loving yourself in order to raise your self esteem