Why do I feel bad when someone does something nice for me, specially if they buy me gifts?

You may this because you may be feeling guilty that you're not 'giving back' - however, I'm sure they'll be glad to know you appreciate what they do for you! Even if you may not be able to buy them something in return (and nor do you need to), expressing your thanks and appreciation goes a long way, and will positively affect the relationship between you two (and possibly already has). It may be difficult to rid yourself of this guilt, but just know that this gift-giving does not have to be a mutual occurrence, and not a mandatory part of friendship.

There can be a lot of answers to this. A few common ones are. . . You do not feel comfortable with the gift giver in a friendly or romantic way. You do not feel as if you are someone who is worth the time and effort or thoughtfulness of a gift because of low self esteem. You are not comfortable with the amount of money and thus energy put into the gift since you are not financially stable and the amount makes the gift more intimidating. You have had past trauma with a situation where you might have received a surprise gift and then have been told that you need to do something afterwards in order to earn the gift that was given which is abusive behavior.

When you receive a gift or something nice from someone, you may be thinking to yourself things like: "I don't deserve this" or "I am not worthy of love and appreciation." For my 21st birthday, my family threw a surprise birthday party at a buffet restaurant, and many of my good friends and acquantainces showed up. They gave me gifts like earphones and some fancy robe thing. Yet, my 21st birthday party was the most depressing point of my life. I cried alone in the shower after faking joy in front of my friends and family that night. That was because I told myself negative things such as, "I was a waste of time," "Everyone came because they were invited, and not because they wanted to," and "I didn't deserve the party tonight." Perhaps you may be saying similar things to yourself for your situation too. It may be wise to challenge each thought by finding evidence that both supports and refutes each thought, then coming up with a more realistic way of seeing things.

This is a great question! I think there could be a variety of reasons that you may feel this way. Maybe something happened in your past that caused your thinking to change. I think this is a common feeling though! Try not to beat yourself up too much over it. I think what you can do is try to rewire your thinking. When someone gets you a gift, remind yourself that they are doing it for you because they care about you! Maybe when you start to feel guilty, just remind yourself that they care about you and you are worth it!

Feeling bad when someone does something nice for you may stem from several causes. You may be experiencing a form of guilt that someone did something nice for you or went out of their way for you. Your feeling bad might, alternatively, have something to do with your self concept or feelings of self worth. To better assess why you are feeling this way, consider asking yourself "Do I feel bad because they put forth effort to do this for me, do I feel bad because I feel undeserving of it, or is it something else?" This will help you gauge whether you feel bad for their effort (being considerate of someone else) or because you feel you don't deserve people doing nice things for you (low self worth), or whether it's something else altogether.

Why do you feel bad? If it's a form of bribery , yes of course you are justified to feel guilty. But if it's just a gift someone you like or love maybe a family member or a friend, then why do you feel guilty? Do you feel obliged to them? Do you feel you do not deserve the attention and love they are showing you? Do you feel you are imposing on them ? If you take a minute to reflect , you might realise where your feelings are coming from. If it's a gift given out of love then accept it gracefully cause you deserve the love and are precious to that person. You are worthy and valuable too.

In my experiences, I often feel as though I'm a burden, particularly when congruable things, like gifts come into play. Knowing that someone spent money on me actually feels like I'm undeserving of their love or friendship. When someone is being nice, I instantly assume they're just faking it to be nice, and that issue often stems from trust issues. So, look into your past, and see if you notice any point where someone broke your trust, or where you lost friends. It's hard sometimes to feel like you're enough for someone, and this is just a subconscious manifestation of your own feelings of inadequacy.

Its more of the feeling of, "I don't deserve this" or "Is it supposed to be this great?", "Is it worthy enough?" etc. It's ur mind playing tricks on u. Generally, people feel this way because they believe that they are burdens to others and don't deserve to get gifts or have nice things done for themThe looks on the recipient's face when they open their gift provides a psychological lift to other person and triggers the release endorphins into their brain, producing the same euphoric feelings of pleasure and joy we can experience after a tough workout or when we're falling in love. Some people have self-esteem issues or aren't used to people doing anything nice for them so they will reject any gift. They may feel like they haven't done anything to deserve the gift, even if the person giving the gift feels otherwise

I feel this way in 3 situations: - I feel as if it's wasted on me/I don't deserve it. - I am burdened by it, I feel like I will have to give back, and I don't know how. - I am simply repulsed by this person. It is important to think about which one it is. If it's the second or third, feel free to decline. You have no need to receive gifts which only cause you burden. If it's the first, then think about why you feel this way. Why do you feel undeserving when the other person obviously feels like you do?

Maybe that's because you feel like you got to buy or does something nice in respond of that and that would put you in pressure or maybe you don't think you're worthy of nice things and being loved and receiving gifts. Another reason could be poor emotional support in childhood or being afraid for asking your needs from parents. or Sometimes people buy an expensive gift not because they love us, maybe they wanna show off their wealth especially in toxic relationships so that might make you silent in front of their toxic behaviors. Or maybe you're afraid this gift or nice action would put people in pressure and that embarrasses you

It all depends on your relationship with you parents/primary care givers. Sometimes we grow up with a family that made it seem like we don't deserve love, or made us feel like we owe them something, or they keep mentioning how much sacrifice they did to bring you up, our sense of self-worth is quite low as an adult. We feel like inside we don't deserve that token of affection or appreciation. It takes a lot of work and training our minds and hearts to learn to receive. It will take time, but you have got to build your self-worth and self esteem and truly believe you deserve appreciation. :). It's hard but not impossible. People grow old never learning. However you are self-aware and you should do just fine!

Perhaps your love language lends itself to understanding love in forms of words of affirmation or quality time, rather than gift-giving. If this is the case it could be helpful to identify your love languages, ask for love and appreciation to be expressed in those ways, and do the same for your friends/partners. It is okay to refuse gifts that you do not want or from people you do not trust. Gifts and good deeds can feel like weapons when they are wielded against you. If some folx feel like the motivation or delivery is less than pure, a gift can feel more like a weight or a debt. If you notice a bad feeling in your gut, your intuition may be guiding you. Lastly, I hope to remind every one that remember that it is okay to feel how we feel and to work through it on our own time. We can't control our feelings, but we can control our actions. Self-compassion is the most powerful tool in the box!

A gift is a sign of appreciation that others have for us. Maybe you`re not emotionally ready to move forward and take the next step into the relationship. You may be scared that simple gests of love may take the relationship into the next level and you`re not prepared for it. You may have your guards up to avoid being hurt Maybe you feel like you didn`t deserve the gift because you never knew that you meant something for the other person. And now you have the moral obligation to do something in return for them but you`re not ready yet.

I think this may be a matter of self-esteem and feeling like you don't deserve to be treated in this way. There is also a reciprocity principle where you feel that you have to return the favour and do something nice for them as well, or buy them a gift too. Another possibility could be that you haven't been treated this way very often before, so it may feel new and foreign to you. This might also make the nice acts and gifts seem like even more of a huge favour and add to your feelings of feeling bad. Do any of these sound like they could apply to your situation? I hope you have a clearer idea of where you're at. :)

I think maybe you grew up being neglected emotionally, so you got used to not doing good things for you. That also may had an impact in your self-esteem. So when someone does something nice to you, give compliments, buy you gifts you feel uncomfortable and you feel unworthy of receiving them. That happens specially regarding receiving gifts because maybe that was one of the things you most lacked when you were an infant. And maybe you also feel the need to reciprocate and don't know how to do it because receiving good actions or gifts was not something regular in your life.

When someone does nice things for you, like buying you a gift, you may feel bad because you don't feel you deserve it, when you totally do! It's normal to feel this way and a good thing to do is realise that you do deserve these things. Maybe try giving back to said person, as a way to make yourself feel better. It's all about learning to love and appreciate yourself just as others do to you and give back to those who you love and appreciate! Giving back is super rewarding and is a good way to make others to make them feel special or appreciated. Your worries are valid!

When you can't appreciate a gift, it's often because you don't think you deserve it or that the other person didn't have to do it. But for many people, a gift also means that they are indebted to the person who gave it, and many people want to avoid that. If you think you don't deserve the gift, it has something to do with your sense of self-worth. Try to realize that gifts are not bad. You should be open with others about your feelings about the gift. Don't just look at the object of the gift, but look for the meaning behind it and then try to understand what exactly is stopping you from appreciating it. Understand your feeling, don't judge them.

Sometimes, I got a mindset that serving other only. In turns, I feel bad when something does something nice for me. Later on, I found that this happened because we are friends (level 5). We are okay to be nice to each other as a friend. It is a great way to aware that it is important to recognize these small acts of kindness for our only wellbeing since you are treated as important in our lives. It also implies that we care about each other. When they are in need, we do not hesitate to provide unconditional support.

Some times we feel as if we don't deserve these kind of things in life, it might have been because we aren't really used to it or have be unappreciated before. So by someone buying gifts or doing something nice might come off as forced or unnatural. Sometimes there actually might not be an answer, finding out what makes us feel what and how can be really hard and complicated. For example, there might be some personal relations or history that can complicate feelings when getting a gift. They may feel as if they have done nothing to deserve it or that the giver is doing too much.

I think the answer may depend from person to person, and situation to situation. One reason that I can think of is that our perception of ourselves may not be the same as how others see us. For example, we may think that we are not that great, and in turn, undeserving of kind gestures. Low self-esteem can also make us think of ourselves as burdens, and so when we are on the recieving end of kind gestures, we think that the other persons actions weren't worth their time. Sometimes, kind gestures are simply a "aw, you really didn't have to do that" sort of situation. Perhaps you know the financial dedication it takes to give gifts, and don't think that it's necessary. Whatever the cause may be, these feelings can be hard to battle, but these gestures show that a person really cares. Remind yourself that you are more than worth these gestures. If you feel some kind of debt to them, think of the gestures and an indication of love/support/care/friendship. And remember, they're returnable! Gift giving can be a great way to strengthen some relationships.

I get this same feeling. For me personally, think that is has to do with the feeling of being obligated or indebted to someone, especially if you feel like you can't do the same thing in return for them. I've recieved really nice gifts and it makes me feel bad because I don't have the money to do the same for them. I think it's also a self-worth thing; I don't always feel like I deserve what I am given even though I thoroughly appreciate the gesture and am grateful for the consideration. Hopefully this helped. Take care.

In my experience, I have felt bad because I felt that I should return the favor. When someone gets me gifts, I feel like I should have gotten them something as well and end up feeling guilty. Especially if it is a friend who gave me a gift or a family member. There are also different reasons to feel bad. Maybe if we are not used to people being nice, we might feel bad in the sense that we don't really believe it. Or, it is possible we could get suspicious of the person and wonder why they would do such a nice thing.

I have this same problem. It is due to low self esteem. A lot of people feel they are more givers than receivers. But when it comes to physical signs of affection your subconscious tends to trigger the emotion response that you do not feel worthy or deserving of this gift, or action someone has done for you. This results with the feeling of wanting to cry, hide, or become antisocial/scarce around people. How can you fix this? Therapy can help with deep seeded low self esteem. As well as working on realizing how wonderful you are and teach yourself life is not about who deserves or who does not deserve. It is about just being there for the moment and cherishing every moment of it.

I find it when other people do something nice for me they take their own time and initiative to do that same specific thing and I sometimes feel obligated to sort of return the favour. In those situations I find it easy to simply thank them, try to understand why they did it and do my best to remain thankful and reslectful to them. Whenever I feel like I should do the same for that person, I find am equivalent that I think is fair and I do my fair share of good deeds for that person. After all, we are all human and should help each other.

This is a common feeling, but can be very confusing and even frustrating to experience. I've learned that if we have low self-esteem, for whatever reason that may be, we do not consider ourselves worthy of receiving gestures such as gifts. One thing to remember is that the person doing the nice action or giving you a gift definitely believes you are deserving of it. We're all deserving of nice things! Think of a friend who thinks they don't deserve a gift or even a coffee paid for. What would you tell them to best describe why they deserve something nice?

It can be a sign of deppresion. When you are depressed you feel as if nothing is importnant anymore you just want to get better and thats ok because its not your fault your feeling that way. If you are kind of embbaresd you could say thank you and give them a hug because all you have to do is thank them and they should feel respected. it could also be a sign of grief if you lost somebody you loved you will get gifts from other people and as you get the gift you miss them even more.

Receiving compliments or gifts can be quite uncomfortable, especially if we are not very confident. Feeling deserving of these gestures can be painful if we are used to being unseen or underappreciated. I think it helps trying to remember that by accepting them, we are helping make the other person feel appreciated as well as allowing ourselves to feel seen. The exchange is also an intimate one, especially if the gift was a personal one. This intimacy can be scary for many of us who haven't experienced safe relationships in the past and presume there must be a 'catch'.

Receiving an unexpected gift can cause contradictory reactions. If I am feeling insecure or unworthy, feeling of guilt can arise -- what did I do to deserve this? It can be hard to remind myself of the joy of finding something you think someone else will like, and surprising them with a spontaneous gift. If I enjoy gift giving, other people can too. Learning to accept graciously is hard. Anxiety might also surface -- why is this person giving me this? what do they expect in return? A gift can highlight a perceived imbalance in a relationship -- have I given them as much as they are giving me? Am I a bad person for accepting a gift without having something ready to give back? It's hard to learn that I am deserving of anything that life can give. I would tell a friend "you DO deserve this"; I need to be a better friend to myself.

There could be various reasons for it, also it depends which "bad" emotion precisely you are referring to. In general, I can think of two such reasons. One, you feel you are not worthy of good things in life. It is possible that you have picked up that belief somewhere in life, either from a parent figure or someone you really trusted in your life has made you feel that way. Being grown up now you don't necessarily remember when you started to feel that way or what lead you in this direction of feeling unworthy. It doesn't have to be a big traumatic experience like having absent parents, it could be simple comments here and there of how not good enough you are, which can also pull you down this spiral. The second reason could be that this specific love language of giving gift is not one of your preferred love language. It may make you uncomfortable and especially feel bad if you start to feel like you are mooching off someone. I just thought of one more reason, you might be dealing with somewhat of an imposter syndrome kind of feeling, where you may feel as if you are deceiving someone and that had lead them to see you as this amazing person whom they want to shower with love and gifts, but all you can feel is that you have manipulated them into feeling this way. I would recommend naming what emotions come up when you feel bad about it to help you in knowing what underlying reasons could be. Ask the whys.

Everyone's love language is different, which is why someone doing nice for you or buying you a gift might not feel good. While that person might think that their act of service or gift will show their love for you, you might feel guilty about it, not be sure how to react, or otherwise feel uncomfortable. While you probably can't change their way of showing affection, you can dive deep into your personal feelings and love languages. Knowing what your love language is and what your friends and families are can help you understand what you are looking for from others and why they are making you feel bad. Then you can communicate that with them and hopefully feel better!