Why do I have a gut-wrenching feeling down my stomach after a friend told me something I disagree with, not physically, but emotionally?

70 Answers
Last Updated: 02/01/2020 at 11:49am
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I believed that to be a successful therapist is to be able to empathize and connect with all clients. My work with clients is to help them identify resources to cope.

Top Rated Answers
April 14th, 2017 9:19pm
Differences of opinions can often lead to emotional turmoil, especially where friends are concerned. We like to be similar to our friends, so if we find out something that's drastically different, it can change out perspective of them.
May 12th, 2017 8:57am
Sometimes, we have this feeling because we always seek to hear things we want to hear - and when we hear what we need to hear but don't want to, we often times get this feeling because we don't like what we're told. Although it's one of the worst feelings to have, it helps you come to terms with the things you're being told - say for example you had a bad break up and your friend tells you he/she wasn't good for you to begin with but it isn't what you wanna hear, you're going to feel this way - and it's okay to feel this.
June 23rd, 2017 2:50pm
That is a usual reaction, needn't worry about it. It's just that when we're close to people, we think our likings and dis-likings are same. This sometimes isn't true and as the other person has every right to express their own opinions, they do say something we disagree with. We should respect their opinion, that's why we have friends, isn't it? They are different and annoying at times, but we still love them! (vice versa)
August 11th, 2017 6:42pm
We all have our own beliefs and values and sometimes people we love and care about don't necessarily agree with them. Everybody is different and learning to accept that sometimes can be difficult and effect you in many ways, including emotionally.
September 28th, 2017 6:14pm
When you have a difference in beliefs with someone close like a friend, you might experience that gut-wrenching feeling. It's fairly normal - Conflicting values makes a lot of us feel that way.
October 1st, 2017 12:26am
Considering they're a friend, it could stem from some type of insecurity of wanting other people to agree with you and be on the same page as you. When they're not it could lead to feelings of frustration since they might not see something the same way as you.
October 6th, 2017 8:50am
As humans, our bodies are tied to our emotions. We have very strong intuitions, which most people might refer to as "gut-feelings". It is important to honor those feelings as a sign to examine what might cause your emotions and body to work together to send you a message. What is going on in your relationship with this friend? Did they say something that you have personal history with?
October 14th, 2017 1:17am
If it is something that you are passionate about and something that you are emotionally connected to, then it's easy to get that feeling about things! I think it shows that you are caught between wanting to agree because they are your friend, and truly caring about what YOU think is right.
October 18th, 2017 1:31am
We all get triggered by things we are passionate about. Personally I get a burning feeling when someone gives me a counter argument to something I agree/disagree with, it is just a normal reaction. If this is something that deeply bothers you, ask your friend to chat with you and explain your feelings.
October 18th, 2017 6:52pm
Maybe what your friend said has something to do with a personal problem / feeling of you (consciously or not). Them saying something you don't agree with about a sensitive subject might make you feel suddently anxious and/or sad and/or betrayed and/or even disgusted, making your body react in this unpleasant way.
November 2nd, 2017 4:39am
We are creatures of emotion. What we hold as our values in our mind can create a physical reaction of disgust in our body. This is not because we are right or our friend is wrong. Both of the individuals can be RIGHT. But. We feel sick because our feelings are part of our survival. Anything that disrupts those feelings threatens us and our survival. Our Autonomic nervous system responds to any threat by clenching our stomach and reducing flow of blood to our limbs - thus the gut wrenching feeling. This is a biological response, not an admission of truth or wrong doing. It is important to know that we can be WRONG and still feel threatened. And, we can be RIGHT and still feel threatened. Both situations end in a gut wrenching feeling because our body is responding to a threat - not to what is right or what is wrong.
November 17th, 2017 7:48pm
When there is something you strongly disagree with , you do so because you have reason behind it. Its just your gut telling you ," you know that not right, start arguing on it "
December 22nd, 2017 5:15pm
When you are angry, upset, or emotional in a negative way, your body releases stomach acids that can irritate existing ulcers. This can provoke the physical response that you are feeling, but it's important to realize (like you have) that the physical response is brought on by an emotional feeling, and to stop the physical pain, you first need to deal with how you are emotionally responding to the confrontation.
December 30th, 2017 6:12pm
Morals of a person shape who they are and how they act. Personally, feeling that way means that morally and emotionally, it isn't right for me. But there is this sense of foreboding that I should agree anyways because he/she/they is/are my friend/s. So the tension manifests itself physically.
February 1st, 2018 9:29pm
I have experienced the similar feeling you are describing, deep in the pit of your stomach after a friend tells you something you disagree with, emotionally, not physically. I am unable to assess what the disagreement may be about but I can guess that it may have to do with something about principles, or as it is better know as, your fundamental beliefs, which influence your behavior, action, inaction, personality, your words. If something this person is saying, is striking a cord with you, chances are, it isn't sitting well with you, even if they may be someone you have known for a while. I would be curious to know the frequency of this phenomena, and do these feelings of gut-wrenching disagreement become elicited by more than just the words of your friend. It is okay to feel what you are feeling and it is okay to not feel okay, or to react emotionally. This can be exhausting for you if it becomes a pattern and it could set a precedent for the friendship. How would you feel about sharing this feeling with your friend and maybe talking it out?
February 9th, 2018 8:52am
It is normal to feel something inside when you disagree with something, it's because it will have triggered strong emotions inside for you
March 1st, 2018 2:07pm
You may feel unsettled that they disagree with you on that topic, because the topic may mean a lot to you and your opinions are very strong.
March 8th, 2018 5:53pm
Did you know that your stomach has nearly as many nerve endings as your brain? It picks up our emotions and it is part of the autonomic response to stress. When we were cavemen the fight or flight response saved us from being eaten and the gut would react subconsciously and give us that tell tale feeling that something was wrong. Now that feeling lingers with us and when our sub-conscious feels a threat or any kind of emotional upset it can react and give us that feeling.
April 5th, 2018 4:26am
This sounds like anxiety. It makes the stomach feel all tied in knots or like there are rocks in it? This is a normal physical response to emotional angst. It generally eases with time but if it’s causing distress in daily living or disrupting the friendship then a heart to heart talk may be in order. Sometimes that will help ease the discomfort all by itself.
April 11th, 2018 8:14pm
I am not a professional, but it may be because you thought that they, as a friend, would be on your side and now you are kind of disappointed in them and your own jugdment your friend isn't. When one makes friends, they usually think they know that person really well and feel home with them, so it's completely understandable how confused one can be when they get to know new sides one doesn't like on a person they thought to understand fully. So sure, something like this must hurt, loosing your perception of your friend a bit after you thought to have found him.
May 18th, 2018 10:01pm
So you feel upset when you disagree with a friend? Have you noticed if this happens w/ every friend?
June 24th, 2018 8:31pm
It is quite normal to feel a gut-wrenching churn of the stomach after someone you feel close with tells you something you internally disagree with. It is an emotional reaction to something we disapprove of, while we might disagree it might be good to explore why we have such a visceral reaction to disagreeing with something someone said. This visceral reaction, while it doesn't feel good, might be an opportunity to explore our own emotions and realize that everyone has a right to their own opinion, even if we disagree. It is healthy and okay to agree to disagree. If we internalize it so much and never work through it, it can literally cause a physiological reaction.
July 4th, 2018 4:08am
Maybe you fell like you have a different idea about it than your friend that you are not familiar about and made you fell a bit funny inside.
July 13th, 2018 7:48am
Maybe it stems from a situation in your personal life that you’ve experienced. Having opposite views is very much fine but solving the disagreements together is even better!
July 15th, 2018 5:45am
Honestly, some people can't handle little things. Even if it wouldn't be a big deal to a "normal" person, it tends to bother another person more.
July 20th, 2018 4:28am
You are feeling possibly bad to disagree in person because it may hurt your friend. Try to relax. Clear your thoughts
July 25th, 2018 11:49pm
Fear and anxiety of conflict are powerful emotions. Fear that they wouldn't like you if they knew how you felt or that you might upset them. Anxiety about an impending argument or the thought that you are hiding something from your friend. Good friends find way to have a relationship despite their differences. The type of people you want as friends will accept you along with your conflicting opinions.
October 12th, 2018 4:33pm
Its just your intuition, maybe which is probably a good thing by being your own guide as to what you should do, as you alone know what is best for you. Perhaps, it is a wise thing to heed it. It is emotionally draining you, apparently but do try to not let it keep you down. Staying positive at all times is needed. The feeling is understandable and your sensitivity to it is noticeable. You don't have to pretend to asgreevwith what you don't but being diplomatic has always been an ideal thing to do. Talking to an expert can help you more, if you need some additional support in this matter.
October 20th, 2018 9:01pm
the muscles of the gut are strongly connected to the emotional centers of the brain. this is an ancient physical response to threat, or fear. sometimes our bodies need to react faster than we can think things through, and this response to tighten the stomach to retain food and balance, or even to eliminate a burden in the gut, is primeval, very deep seated. i like to think of emotions as Indicators, telling us something that our thoughts are too slow to process. so, consider what your friend(s) is telling you, is it threatening to something in your life, or perhaps frightening in it's resonance with something that has been traumatic? perhaps it is some other kind of Alert, for an emotion i don't think of right away, but if you stop and examine your feelings, i am sure you will have the answer to your question.
December 30th, 2018 2:23am
It sounds like you might be experiencing anxiety over a potential disagreement with your friend. Perhaps what they said does not align with your moral code, or their beliefs invalidate something that is important to you. This feeling could be anger, fear, indignation, betrayal, or another unpleasant emotion manifesting itself. If you explore other times in your life to see when you have also experienced this feeling, it might help pinpoint what emotion is causing it. Emotions can manifest themselves in a number of ways, and sometimes the experience can be overwhelming. It's alright to experience these feelings, they are natural and sometimes helpful in finding what topics make you angry or anxious.