Why do I have a gut-wrenching feeling down my stomach after a friend told me something I disagree with, not physically, but emotionally?

70 Answers
Last Updated: 02/01/2020 at 11:49am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Susana diaz, lpc

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believed that to be a successful therapist is to be able to empathize and connect with all clients. My work with clients is to help them identify resources to cope.

Top Rated Answers
January 10th, 2019 6:03pm
Because they are not totally wrong but I have strong reason to stay firm on my opinion. The feeling of torn apart between pushing my idea to them and coercing that they are wrong or letting them with their own ideas which make me feel like letting them on their own device. I care about them to voice my own opinion, yet i also need them to hear mine and see that what i am trying to do is 'meeting in the middle', not confronting and belittle their ideas. I am still struggling as to why they prefer to attack when disagreeing with me
March 20th, 2019 8:55pm
I was thinking of a personal example, one time when a friend and I were discussing some event in our hometown. While we were talking, she said that she could understand why some people may have been against that event and what it expressed in terms of social and cultural views. I still remember that feeling in my stomach. My guess is that we choose friends also because we feel we share some values and beliefs. And sometimes, certain kinds of disagreement may reveal that we do not, in fact, share all the same values. In that moment, it felt almost like a betrayal to me, but the betrayal of a silent agreement ("We both put value on the same things") that we hadn't really discussed until that moment.
March 22nd, 2019 1:04am
Words are powerful because they carry so much weight and evoke strong emotions. You’ve had an emotional response to what your friend has said because you feel so strongly about the statement. So take a moment, and figure out what exactly they’ve said that caused that emotion within you, and from that you’ll have an understanding why you reacted how you did. It’s only natural to react in situations where someone has said something we strongly disagree with, and despite it sometimes feeling like a physical sensation, it’s just our own moral compass reminding us that whatever they have said has caused an emotional stir within ourselves, which helps guide us and helps us figure out how we feel about difference situations, and whether we agree or disagree.
April 14th, 2019 10:27pm
There is potential between the two friends to get into an argument and ruin what was a perfectly fine friendship. If there is a disagreement, that may turn into an argument between the two friends. In my experience, I have been in these situations before and sometimes people will bring things into the argument that do not belong there. For instance, they could start attacking the other person about things they did a long time ago in the past or things that are irrelevant to the original issue. I believe the gut-wrenching feeling is a response to a fight or flight case and adrenaline because of what was previously mentioned.
April 19th, 2019 3:04pm
That’s normal, everyone has their own opinions and even though your friend might have told you something to help you out and you might not like it they mean no harm and just want what’s best for you. It could also be that in the position that you’re in it makes it seem that those persons words are impossible to accomplish and you’d rather not agree with them. And that guy-wrenching feeling is completely normal everyone gets especially when they’re nervous or they know somethings wrong but you don’t have to fear about that if it’s a friend you trust because usually they just want to help out to get you out of your troubles
September 12th, 2019 6:32am
Because this is your friend, and this may be an issue that affects you, or is affecting you personally. Like politics or religion, the friend might have an opinion on something like gay marriage, but because they aren't gay (and you are) it doesn't really affect them whatever the decision for the topic is reached. That is just one example. And because it's your friend you want to agree on similar things but sometimes you don't, and you start to ask yourself, are they someone I can call a friend because of our differing opinions? And that's why it hurts emotionally.
September 27th, 2019 7:43pm
The mind and body are pretty interconnected. Emotional responses are not just in your mind but in your body. Subtle hormonal changes, perspiration, blood pressure levels etc. are detected by your brain. Emotional responses in your mind can be due to the actual situation, or due to your body responding to something.
October 27th, 2019 1:08pm
Emotions are in part physical reactions. It's those sensations that warns us and lead us to analyzing our emotions. Often when people get butterflies they understand that they are experiencing anxiety. So when exhibiting a strong change in emotion it is natural that there will be powerful physical sensations. Another example of some physical sensations tied to emotions include sweating when angry or feeling numb when scared. These are common since as I've mentioned before emotions stem from a combination of physical reactions or sensations. If you notice certain unusual physical sensation then please take notice as that would mean that your body is sending out a cry for help or validation.
November 3rd, 2019 6:54am
We take offense at things that threaten who we are: our reality, our narrative, our place in the world, our identity. When someone says something that undermines who we are or what we believe, it makes us want to shout back at them, defeat them with logic or stonewall them completely. Through avoidance or aggression we can relieve that gut-wrenching feeling. Yet the differences don't stop -- there will always be someone who disagrees. To resolve this, we need to look to acceptance and boundary setting. How can I accept I can't control this person's opinion (or anybody's opinion, for that matter) next time it happens? Do I need to place boundaries on them? Do I need to place boundaries on my expectations?
February 1st, 2020 11:49am
It is common to feel so on disagreement between individuals who connect with each other on a regular basis. It is important for you to make your feelings heard, no matter who the receiver is. Not only would that free you of this feeling of uneasyness, but also save your relation with said person. Till the conversation remains healthy,it should not need another listener. Should you feel that the other person in the conversation is being unreasonable, or failing to understand your point of view & thus not being able to agree on the same view point, it is important for you to speak to a listener, so that your difference in opinion doesn't make you doubt your thinking process, or lower your confidence.