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Why do I sometimes enjoy feeling sad?

166 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 5:49am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
September 23rd, 2017 1:27am
When we are trying so hard to feel not-sad, sometimes it is a relief to stop trying and take a break and feel sad. When we fight a feeling, it grows and festers beneath the surface. We can seek recovery from sadness and still acknowledge that we are sad to ourselves and how that sadness affects our lives. Some people think they are recovering but really they are fighting or hiding from their sadness, this causes internal conflicts because we rightfully feel like we're lying to ourselves. We can seek good happy feelings while still being honest about how we feel right now, and it feels good to be honest with ourselves. It's also okay to take a break from our recovery and just exist in that sadness, so long as we remember to continue seeking a slice of happiness later on. Alternatively, some people have pasts that have correlated feeling sad with reward or good things or are so used to feeling sad that feeling any other way feels unnatural. We are each different and we each know our own secrets and answers. Great question and I hope you find the answer that fits you soon, and good luck on your recovery from sadness.
September 21st, 2016 7:04pm
Sometimes it is good to really feel yourself when you are feeling sad. Crying is actually a positive outlet especially when you have been holding on for long. Feeling your own sadness is more helpful than pushing it away because you are able to get to the root of your problem and move on.
October 28th, 2016 10:03am
Some people feel being sad draws more attention but feeling sad won't keep people coming closer. You will only push them away.
April 19th, 2017 6:26pm
i think sometimes people enjoy feeling sad because its an emotion they have come to know well, for whatever reason. if a person has a hard time feeling happy and sees others enjoying being happy, that person will relate being sad with their most prominent emotion and embrace it.
September 1st, 2017 2:51pm
Being sad allows you to let out your feelings, and occasionally, crying will help you feel so relieved after those tears stop drowning your eyes out. You can't help being sad, so embrace the feeling and let it all out.
December 3rd, 2017 12:08pm
From my experience with depression and several other forms of mental health. Our mental disorders can often be thought of as friends. For example it your disorder could be telling you to stay in bed for another hour or even all day. This seems like a good ideas. You can sleep, relax, watch television, you can do whatever you want. In reality after spending so many days in bed you become tired and itchy. You haven't showered in days. But you can't get out of bed as your mental illness wants you to stay. Sometimes and even often times are mental illness can seem comfortable and friendly but they are not. Often times people enjoy feeling sad as it satisfies them to express the way they are feeling. For example crying about something you've been upset about for a while. Releasing your emotions is healthy. If you think that you are upset too often, I would recommend seeking support and help whether that be from somebody around you or a trained therapist.
March 8th, 2018 8:07am
Part of the reason might be that you feel like it validates you. When we've been feeling down for a while, we can subconsciously start seeing our sadness as part of who we are, so when we are especially sad it makes us feel like that part of our identity is more valid. Otherwise, it could be because you feel like you deserve it (which of course, nobody does!), or you might be used to feeling sad so it's familiar and somehow comforting. I hope that helps, and that you feel better soon
June 27th, 2018 2:27am
Living with depression is such a difficult thing to handle; it makes your feelings go haywire, your thoughts never being clear, and a lot of other things you. Taking this from a experience, with the depression, you can't think a time where you were truly happy, and so sadness just takes over. You don't have any other emotions, so the sadness is just what your mind is used to, taking it to be the new "happy" feeling.
July 4th, 2018 4:29pm
I enjoy feeling sad sometimes because old habits for me are comfortable. I find It comforting to slip into my old habits even though I know it is wrong.
July 16th, 2018 12:41pm
Because you have become addicted to feeling sad. According to science, our brains are wired in such a way that we need to have something to obsess over or be addicted to. But the good thing is that we get to choose our obsessions/addictions. For example a cigarette smoker can stop his addiction once he replaces this addiction with something else for example eating a chocolate when he feels an urge to smoke. This is where habit comes into play, once a habit is established which takes about a month generally then its difficult to let it go, so maybe you can try to replace your enjoyment of feeling sad with enjoyment of expressing gratitude instead. Its all about choosing the habits and addictions that are healthy for your mind and body.
February 16th, 2017 7:33pm
Sometimes feeling sad helps me more than being mechanically happy. When I feel sad, I feel like a true part inside of me is asking for attention in order to have a more comprehensive, genuine and even happier picture of my life/ or situation at that exact moment when I feel sad...After all being sad enables us to aknowledge the good and happy moments too, which happen when we are not that much sad :)
February 23rd, 2017 3:40pm
You sometimes enjoy feeling sad because of two reasons. One- you pity yourself and everyone secretly likes being pitied( not all the time). Two- you think of the negative things in your life and realise that how strong you are that despite of so many things you still move on..
July 9th, 2017 9:44pm
I always say that without the struggles it is not as fun to celebrate the great times. LIfe is a constant battle and sadness does help one to make changes or plan goals and overtime can be constructive! They say with every ending there is a beginning after all.....the rainbow 🌈 which you may have never seen otherwise! Let it rain on your parade but don't let it dampen your spirit! 😜☀️ ☁️☀️☁️😜
September 14th, 2017 2:29am
It is okay to feel sad sometimes. Sometimes you need to cry and get your emotions out, and many times you do, you later feel better about it. You cannot experience the feeling of happiness without experiencing the feelings of sadness. You learn from your feelings whether they are positive or negative and it helps with your personal growth.
September 14th, 2017 2:55am
If you are someone who is extremely depressed, you might enjoy the feeling. Sadness is an emotion just like joy.
April 6th, 2018 10:27pm
You may enjoy the fact that people suddenly care about they normally would, it's okay to want attention sometimes. But doing it too much can make people want to stay away from you.
April 7th, 2018 10:46am
I remember a Louis CK interview where he spoke about hearing a Springsteen song on the car radio that struck him with the deep realization that he was alone in the universe. He pulled over and broke down crying, letting the full force of the sadness hit him. After a while, he smiled up at the night sky, laughing a little in spite of himself. Sometimes sadness is beautiful.
July 11th, 2018 8:54am
Sometimes people just feel sad for no reason and they like it, it may because they like feeling the way they are and it makes them feel good.
July 15th, 2018 7:09am
Self pity and absorbing selfishly cause us to remain in a sad state too long. Some do this to seek attention from others.
July 26th, 2018 8:16pm
I think the answer often depends on the person and the given situation. Sometimes it is nice to be able to feel an emotion and have the time to process rather than jumping to a solution and moving on. Feeling emotions are important and it is okay to do so but we have to remember to keep moving because we deserve to be happy. Sometimes it is a matter of change. Sometimes changing emotions or life experiences to do so can be intimidating. Sometimes what we know seems easier than change but change often brings a lot of good. Try to remember that you deserve to feel your emotions but to not dwell in them too long. You deserve happiness, joy, and compassion.
August 19th, 2018 9:04am
I think that everyone takes gratification in simply feeling what they feel. Perhaps enjoying sadness is just an extension of that. When you permit yourself to feel, you are opening yourself up to vulnerability, and that is a very freeing thing, even enjoyable. So from that, yes, sadness can be enjoyable. You asked why you “sometimes” enjoy feeling sad. So long as you are not always relishing your sadness, I think it is perfectly healthy to occasionally take pleasure in the release of negativity through sadness. Sometimes, we have been happy or even numb for so long that sadness is enjoyable in the fact that it is different.
April 3rd, 2019 9:50pm
Sadness is a very tricky feeling. It’s sneaky. It’s dangerous. It can wear a mask of something else. A promising change? Indifference? A form of a coping mechanism? We see its many faces, but we rarely see sadness for what it is — a natural chemical reaction in our brain. It is normal to experience this feeling, and sometimes it comes and goes very unpredictably. If we experience it more often then usual, we can get the feeling of getting used to it. And as we adapt to it, we can see it as something that’s becoming a part of our regular daily experience, which we don’t want to associate with anything unpleasant. So the feeling itself tricks our minds into thinking that we “enjoy” feeling sad, while we, in fact, don’t.
February 29th, 2020 12:30am
I know what you mean, it's almost as if I am addicted to the feeling of sadness sometimes. I guess it's a comfort zone thing? If you are comfortable in that sadness you feel then that brings it's own enjoyment? That's just me guessing though. I think it's quite normal to enjoy it as weird as that sounds, it's almost for me as if I can just laugh it off (depending on what's put me in that sadness) because I know it's temporary and I just try and see the good side or pivot it too how I could help someone who feels the same. Hope this helps in some way.
September 12th, 2020 8:25am
It is often said that “happiness is a choice.” But then why aren’t more people happy? There’s the theory that people like negative feelings. A study by Eduardo Andrade and Joel Cohen, which evaluated why people enjoy horror movies, concluded that some viewers are happy to be unhappy. The researchers found that people experience both negative and positive emotions at the same time, meaning they not only enjoy the relief they feel when the threat is removed but also enjoy being scared. This same theory, they argued, may help explain why humans are drawn to extreme sports and other risky activities that elicit terror or disgust.
October 23rd, 2020 6:50pm
Sometimes, feeling sad lets you know that you're actually capable of feeling things. When you're numb, or otherwise depressed, all the life and emotions are sucked out of you, but when you feel sad, it's just confirmation that you can feel. So you take that, and you feel it to your core and sometimes you feel it so deeply that all you can do is lay in bed and cry and cry and cry. And in that moment, it might make you feel horrible, but you realize that afterwards, you feel better. Because you can feel and there's nothing wrong or abnormal about that.
April 23rd, 2016 12:08pm
I think it might be the opposite effect, after experiencing deep saddness.
September 30th, 2016 2:36pm
There could be many reasons but think it is because we let our emotions out then and start the recovery process
October 2nd, 2016 1:28am
Because it's a great contrast, I mean feeling happy is great! But it's so good to feel sad and alone & not consume with feeling optimistic towards anything sometimes. It's okay to like feeling sad, but happy is nice too!
November 9th, 2016 6:59pm
Acting out the emotions (sad, mad, etc.), may seem stupid however after getting the screams or tears out it can provide a relief and calming effect after.
November 26th, 2016 11:34am
Sometimes we need to enjoy sad moments so we could know how to appreciate happy ones. Or maybe that's just a natural way to adjust our emotional balances. The key is not to rely too much on your feelings and count on them to live and determine yourlife.