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Why do others always appear to have control over their emotions while mine seem to swing from high to low all the time?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 06/19/2017 at 6:34pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
May 2nd, 2015 3:16pm
Emotions are just a part of being a human animal, and they exist to perform a particular function. You can think of them as signals, trying to give us information. So if you're angry, it might mean someone has crossed a boundary. If you're sad, it means you've dealing with some sort of loss in your life. If you're happy, it means "all is well". So we know everybody has emotions, but some people experience them as a bit more extreme – or a bit more difficult to manage. If you find your feelings are a bit harder to control, sometimes it can really help to learn some special skills to help you manage your emotions. That's what therapists are for! It might sound silly – but just like some people have skin problems and need special creams, or some people have heart problems and need special diets and medicine, some people just need a little extra stuff to properly manage their emotions. :)
February 24th, 2015 9:36pm
Probably because you're not looking hard enough. You might be surprised how conflicted everyone around you is, just like you, if only you got to know them.
April 13th, 2015 7:05pm
I hear that you are having trouble managing your emotions. You use the 'appear' which interests me. Can you tell me why you used the word appear?
April 30th, 2015 11:13pm
You will only ever see the surface of what people are experiencing. You may see the coolest most collected person on the planet, but you might not know that behind the scenes they are a whirlwind. Try not to compare yourself to others, you will never know their full story. Instead - try and focus on getting the help you need to get to a better place.
September 25th, 2015 6:14pm
There is no one answer fits all to this question. Everyone is different. If you are having difficulties with your emotions and controlling them, perhaps speaking with a counselor or therapist can help you.
September 26th, 2015 11:45am
Just like you, everyone's emotions sway high to low all the time. It is bad to repress your emotions, but you need to be careful how you express them, and how they affect your decision making. Everytime you feel too low, take a piece of paper and write down the reason why you feel that way. If you find some common pattern, then you can work towards eliminating it. I do not think you will have a problem feeling too happy :), but just in case you do, repeat the above exercise. You will soon find your emotions to be under control. You can also try guided meditations. They take only 5-10 minutes of your day, but can lead to a lot of composure.
November 9th, 2015 2:27pm
From the outside, it may seem like a person is fine, but dig deeper and they may even feel like you do at times. It isn't strange to feel like your emotions are all over the place. Emotions are complicated things, and people can be more emotional than others. Life changes, stress and even boredom can effect one's emotions. Take some time to do something relaxing, or exciting!
December 28th, 2015 8:37am
The key word is appear. A lot of people struggle with their emotions, just like you. Maybe they just hide it too, again just like you. Maybe they have a way to express their emotions or vent out their problems through exercise or art. Hopefully, you can find something to be your outlet. :)
January 11th, 2016 4:29pm
You may need to find a therapist for issues like that, but this does not necessarily mean "meds" you could just need coping skills to help you figure out triggers and soothing techniques. Never compare.
February 1st, 2016 2:13am
people are very good at putting on fake smiles. You might see someone else always smiling and having fun but inside they could be freaking out. You often can tell what is going on with you inside but when you look at others all you can see is what they let you see.
February 22nd, 2016 4:45pm
It can seem like other are more in control because you aren't in their heads. Maybe things look vastly different from within than you can see from the outside. In truth, almost everyone has internal struggles and don't have complete control over what they feel and how they react.
March 8th, 2016 12:00am
I think people like to appear like they have control over their life or emotions but the truth in most cases is their emotions swing from high to low even if no one knows about it
April 19th, 2016 10:51pm
You would be surprised at how many people feel the same way. A lot of people are just very good at masking their emotions.
July 25th, 2016 5:34pm
No body is perfect.. Managing emotions takes time.. And here on 7 cups you can learn to manage your emotions and have a positive outcome... :)
August 16th, 2016 4:47am
it's actually a very normal thing to have high and lows.. We all have it happen some of us just don't show it
September 6th, 2016 8:26am
many people, when they can recongnize their emotions swinging, they learn to manage through relaxation tools or habits they adopt
June 19th, 2017 6:34pm
No one has their emotions completely in balance. It's okay to feel this way. If your mood swings become too much to handle I recommend seeking professional help. You are not alone and it is completely okay to feel this way.