he had sex with someone else should i give him a second chance?
Last Updated: 10/20/2020 at 1:31am
Elena Morales, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.
Top Rated Answers
relationships tend to be more complex than we imagine them to be. if you are asking this question, you likely care about him. if you are both on the same page about wanting to strengthen your relationship then consider seeing a couples' counselor.
If you think you can still handle the thought of it then maybe. But if it'll just keep reminding you of that event and it can't get out of your head and it only gives you pain, you should just drop him off.
It depends if you are willing to forgive. If you forgive him, you would have to try and put the past behind you and look forward to the future. You are truly hurt and feel as though you can not heal at this moment, maybe a second chance would not be the greatest idea. You truly have to ask yourself how you are feeling, and what you want for your future with this person. If you give him another chance but you yourself are not over the situation, it may not work out how you want it to due to constant overthinking etc.
You know your situation better than anyone else. Ask yourself if it is in your best interest to give him a second chance. How did you feel when he did it the first time? Is it possible it may happen again, and if so, would you want to relive those initial feelings? Is this someone you have been with for a while and are willing to keep trying to maintain a safe and healthy relationship? Is this a conversation you can have with him where he can explain himself and you can talk out your emotions?Is this is someone you truly believe will not hurt you again and will no longer make decisions that can hurt you? Evaluate what you want in the relationship and go from there.
I would never give someone who had sex outside of our relationship a second chance. In my opinion not only did he make his choice when he went to her for that, but I strongly believe that second chances only show what you are willing to allow/accept. That said, I know people who have gone on to live in seemingly happy relationships after one has cheated. You have to decide for yourself what circumstances allow that. I would strongly suggest that if you do give him a second chance, that you seek therapy, and both of you get tested. I would also suggest to stop the sexual part of the relationship until the trust is rebuilt.