How can a 16 year old (me) possibly lose his virginity? The best way to avoid sexual frustration and libido kicks?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 10/23/2018 at 4:32am
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Olweg
July 22nd, 2018 2:35pm
First of all, I.. think we can all challenge the idea of "virginity". What does that mean exactly ? For many people, virginity means "not having practiced penetration", but, well, penetration is just one of maaaaaany sexual things partners can do. And if you use a toy, penetration can be done on yourself (whatever body you have) but I'm not sure you would consider that "losing your virginity". It could be, it really depends on what you put it under that word. So well, first you could consider thinking about that, and about what it means for you. Secondly, I'll invite you to ask yourself why you want to "lose your virginity" at 16 (if I understood well your question). Is it by social convention ? Because all of your friends already did (or claimed they did...which is quite different^^) ? Because you have sexual frustration and libido kicks and want to act on them ? Then I'd say, since you talk about avoiding sexual frustration and libido kicks.. I think we don't really "avoid" having libido kicks but we can definitely learn how to deal with them and "control" them the best we can. What I mean by that is that clearly, in your life, you won't have the possibility to have sexe anytime you've got a libido kick. So to deal with it, you have options. Like masturbating : there is nothing wrong with that, and it's a very sane and safe way to discover one's body and act on our own "libido kicks" by ourselves. You can also think of something else, like things that turn you off lol, or get involve in other activities unrelated to sex, until you eventually forget about your "kicks" of libido. I wouldn't recommand to go see sex workers to have sex for your first time because well, first you're underage, and well, that's just my personal opinion but I think it can lead to think of sex as only a way to satisfy oneself, without caring about the other (since well, when people pay a sex worker, it's not to please the sex worker...). But anyway, you're underage.^^' Thing is, You're young and you're going to learn how to deal with how your body talks to you, how you libido works, and what works best for you in these situations. So I'll suggest to take this time with yourself. Explore etc. And don't think it's a "must do" at 16. Maybe the pressure by your peers is big.. But there is no right age to have sex for the first time. It'll always be better to wait some years, than to do it too early without being ready.. and in no way it should include someone who hasn't expressed their consent clearly. Hope this helps a bit :)
TheLinenMonk
October 23rd, 2018 4:32am
Focus on improving yourself and use the energy towards something productive. If you are viewing pornographic material STOP. It is guaranteed to be adding to sexual frustration because you train your brain to be addicted to sexual release. Also, you are 16. Not everyone your age is ready for sex. As long as you try to be the best person you can be, you will attract high-quality people. What we wish to attract we must also become. When you find someone great and you have a connection, then the time might be right for you two to get close, and it'll be meaningful. There is no pride in casual hookups when you really think about it. Most people hook up when they are intoxicated or emotionally vulnerable. When the deed is done both people go back to having nothing and having to seek all over again. It becomes an endless cycle. The alternative is cultivating a great connection. Being someone that others daydream about when you aren't together. If you are a girl (but even not) I recommend Matthew Hussey on youtube. If you are a guy watch In Search of the Alabaster Girl - Zan Perrion. On youtube.