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How can I tell my parents that I'm gay?

260 Answers
Last Updated: 03/24/2022 at 1:37am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD


Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
June 26th, 2015 7:03pm
While this is a tricky one, remember this is a life changing decision here so think carefully before you admit this to your parents, friends, or loved ones. For your parents, request a talk with them at a time that suits all of you then get ready for the conversation. To start, I suggest you tell them there is a person/are people that you love/care deeply about and (depending on your situation)want to pursue a relationship with them. Say that they are the same gender as you and admit that you are gay/homosexual. No easy way to do this, but this could be a good strategy.
June 27th, 2015 2:25am
First you need to find out what might your parents think about it. It's possible they don't have any problem with that and you are worrying about nothing! Then, if you found out that they won't be happy with your sexuality, you should take your time and slowly in order to avoid problems try to talk and make them understand that you're the same son/daughter they had, your love is the same and you are a respectable person who can make his/her own decisions.
June 27th, 2015 7:03am
Let them know that in an indirect way for example, let your friend or one of your relatives tell them
June 27th, 2015 12:30pm
Tell them normally, tell them in a way that wont hurt you, or them. It's who you are, if they love you, they will accept.
June 27th, 2015 5:08pm
I think you should call one of your parents, the one who understands you better, and explain it to them first
June 27th, 2015 11:22pm
Depending on the situation, you can come straight out(Heh, straight), or call them, leave a note, any way you feel comfortable. It's your choice.
June 28th, 2015 12:05am
While there isn't a set way of doing it, understand that a parent's primary role to support their children without judgement. Depending on your comfort level, it may be helpful to approach them one at a time and let them know your concerns in being open about it.
June 28th, 2015 5:39am
Any way that feels right. Take your time and make sure they know your serious. Try and say it in a way that gets through to them.
June 28th, 2015 9:37am
First, you have to make sure it's safe for you to come out. If you suspect they might kick you out or treat you badly, you shouldn't do it. And if you are sure it's the right thing to do , try to speak to them face to face and in a mature way. Don't expect them to be supportive right away but give them some time and don't try to pick a fight when they say something offensive because that'll just make matters worse. Good luck !
June 28th, 2015 1:05pm
sitting them down and talking to them and said parents i have a serious issuess to talking to you about and i know that you against peoples but i am coming out of the closet be gay and i want to know can you accept me be gay
June 28th, 2015 4:37pm
Bring your significant other over. Say, "Mom, Dad, this is *NAME*. We're in a relationship. If a straight person doesn't have to explain they're straight, you shouldn't have to explain you're gay.
June 28th, 2015 9:14pm
You tell them how you think you should tell them. I sat my mom down right before I was to go to bed, and told her. She didn't approve, but told me she loved me no matter what.
June 28th, 2015 9:14pm
Sit them down and talk to them one on one. Tell them you are who you are and you hope they will respect that. Remember this is your life and you deserve happiness just like everyone else.
July 1st, 2015 3:16am
Find a support, tell them about what I'm going to do. Collect myself. Arrange schedule with them. Find a relax time to talk.
July 1st, 2015 3:19am
You would be surprised to know how many parents actually already know that their children are gay before they even come out. The best way to tell your parents is to keep it short and simple "I am gay". Let that simple statement sit with them for awhile.
July 1st, 2015 5:56pm
I would suggest that you ask them if you could talk a to them about something serious. Sit them down to talk and then explain to them that you are gay. If they don't accept it, oh well.
July 1st, 2015 9:23pm
Depending on your family situation, this can be really hard for people. If you really want to reach out to them, and reveal who you are, then sit them down and just tell them. Half the time, your parents already know. :)
July 1st, 2015 10:55pm
I simple told "Mom, I like girls and there is nothing you can do to change that, so please, accept me." is easy if you have a sigle mom, she wont jugde you because she made a bad choice in life and she feels bad about it. She's going to support you. No matter what, you are her little baby.
July 2nd, 2015 7:10am
bake a cookie, make a frosting rainbow and in the words write "GAY" then show them saying " you are what you eat" and then eat the cookie.
July 2nd, 2015 12:14pm
First maybe you should father them on a dinner and wait for then to relax and then you can start the topic and see how they react and then you can tell them
July 2nd, 2015 8:34pm
Use your pets! =) What my cousin did was tie a white cape around his lab that said, "Your son is GAY!!!" in rainbow colors. I thought it was very creative, his parents ended up taking it better than he thought.
July 2nd, 2015 9:04pm
Sometimes the best way to come out to your parents is to be as loving and understanding towards their feelings as possible when sitting them down face to face and telling them. Do not be hurt by their initial reaction. Change is hard for everyone. Make sure you hear what they have to say as well as get what you have to say off of your chest. I recommend visiting the topic later if things get heated and do not argue.
July 3rd, 2015 1:18am
I just told my dad that I know you have told me before you would disown me but I can't lie to myself I am gay I like girls like you do.
July 3rd, 2015 5:35am
Ask them if you can have a serious talk with them, tell them it's been going through your mind a lot. Let them know this is who you are
July 3rd, 2015 3:44pm
Telling your parents that your gay is never as easy as it seems. It takes a lot of courage to come forward. Having a friend or sibling support you helps a lot. It can help keep you calm and relaxed. Always remember that they are your parents and they do love you, despite any arguments or disagreements y'all may have. You can either bring it up causally one on one so you won't feel over whelmed by both parents. Or sit them down and tell them. The best thing to remember is don't make the assumption that they will hate you for it. Even if they seem against it.
July 3rd, 2015 5:24pm
Come up to them and tell them, If they dont Accept that thats there fault :) You Can be What you wanna be!
July 3rd, 2015 7:48pm
Base on my friend's experience, He talked to his mom first because she knows everything and will accept him no matter what and after that his mom helped him to tell it to his father then family.
July 4th, 2015 5:34am
when it comes to coming out of the closet it never easy. I think that is because their is no right or wrong way or even an easy way for that matter. But I think the "best" way in order to tell your parents is to not think they will disown you and when you actually tell them just be honest with them.
July 4th, 2015 3:59pm
You have to get this: probably, they already know. Specially mothers, they know everything. So, what I recommend you to do is trying to be relax about it. Being gay is not a bad thing, and your parents have to get that. What you could do when you tell them, is letting them know that you get that it's not easy for them to understand everything the first day. Be empathic. Tell them they can always seek for help online to understand what you've been going through, and that way you can work together to understand each other.
July 4th, 2015 4:40pm
you can tell them in any way you see fit, but first you kinda need to be ready to do it, cause if you arent then you will never find the "right" way of doing it or right time