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How can I tell my parents that I'm gay?

260 Answers
Last Updated: 03/24/2022 at 1:37am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD


Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
July 4th, 2015 9:25pm
Any way you feel comfortable, but try not to overplan it, if it comes out moe naturally you might panic less and also they may appreciate how much this means to you. Good luck and listeners are always here for support if youd like someone to speak to afterwards! Remember, gay is okay.
July 5th, 2015 3:59am
the best way to do it, is to sit them down and explain to them about your happiness. personally, when I told my mom, we were in a restraunt and she asked me what I consider myself. and I told her..lesbian. so we had a good talk about it. Good luck!
July 5th, 2015 9:44am
Tell them when your ready. I did it and it was so scary and hard. But do not stand down when they try and say its "just a faze". Take a stand for yourself. You have to not back down. It will be hard for them but do not back away from who you are. Be confident and tell trustworthy friends first. And look at your friends and make sure that you know you can trust them. If anyone doesn't accept you. That is perfectly ok. Just leave them out of your life.
July 5th, 2015 9:45am
Try and ease it into a conversation. If there's a specific parent you're more comfortable with, tell them first. They'll help with the other parent. Hey mum? Yeah, baby? Were you ever like, into girls? Once in junior high I kissed one. Why, love? I think I might be a lesbian. Hmm. Well. I support you baby. (This is best case scenario)
July 5th, 2015 5:17pm
telling your parents about your other can be difficult. You can try telling the one your closer in relation with, that way he/she will except better.
July 5th, 2015 5:23pm
however you think is the right way you feel comfortable with. how do you think the best thing will be?
July 5th, 2015 10:01pm
Based on my personal experience, I feel it is better to first see how they view people of the LGBT+ community so that the person who is coming out can see how safe it will be for them. If the parents state that they would disown their child and stop housing them, this lifestyle may be worse than staying in the closet until in total control of living arrangements and personal well-being. If it seems safe to tell your parents - if they are not completely opposed to the LGBT+ community - you may want to sit them down and prepare what you are going to say in advance. If they don't automatically agree with your choice, it is important to know that sometimes change in mindset takes time and they may grow to appreciate your honesty in time.
July 8th, 2015 3:34am
Be straight forward with them and by directly tell them in a polite and calm manner without yelling.
July 8th, 2015 7:44am
I know from personal experience that it is one of the hardest things to do, but it's who you are. I would say just go for it. Explain to them that it is who you are and you didn't choose to be gay, just like they didn't choose to be straight. Be honest and open. Don't have too many expectations, but they are your parents and will hopefully still accept you even if they don't agree! Good luck!
- Expert in Parenting
July 8th, 2015 8:55am
This can be a very difficult and challenging time for individuals seeking to reveal their sexual orientation to their parents as they often worry about how they will take the news and whether they will be accepted. Honesty is always the best policy and by being open this enables your parents to feel empowered that you have trusted them enough to approach them with your news. It is much better coming from you that someone else!
July 8th, 2015 5:32pm
I think you should properly sit down with them and start by telling them how you always felt different. Instead of saying "I'm gay" you should say "I'm attracted to the same sex" this will make it sound a bit better to them. If they reject you or treat you bad. Know that it's not your fault and it's definitely not the end xxxx
July 8th, 2015 9:44pm
Mom..? Dad? I like a guy in school.. He's cute.. Nice.. and all of the above. I think I'm gay. I really like him.
July 8th, 2015 11:04pm
How I did it was by trying to find out their opinion on the LBGTQ+ community. Then I sat them down when they were reasonably happy and told them about how I came to the conclusion I was gay. Just remember, it is not just about telling them your sexuality but how you have felt.
July 9th, 2015 1:29am
I think this entirely depends on your relationship with your parents. For one, your parents may be extremely accepting, or they could be extremely judgemental. Since I don't know you or your parents, I would say the best course of action may be to sit down with them, and start a conversation as, "Mom, Dad, I have something I need to tell you..." Try to keep the conservation as civil as possible.
July 9th, 2015 4:28am
Have confidence, and be happy about yourself. Start off by telling one parent, either your mom or dad, because it will feel easier. Have advice from other people who came out. Choose a right, appropriate timing. Be prepared for their reactions, they could get hurt or shocked. And whatever they say, just tell them that you feel no differences towards them, because at the end, they're still your parents no matter what.
July 9th, 2015 6:06pm
first you need to make sure your ready. then sit your loved ones down and tell them who you are. and part of who you are involves loving the same sex. which is completely natural. and as long as your being safe everything is ok.
July 9th, 2015 6:48pm
Well in my opinion tell them when you are ready and make sure you have someone by your side and will be there for you because not telling how your parents will take the news
July 9th, 2015 6:48pm
If you want to tell your parents about your sexuality you can sit down with them and then set it straight. Say "Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you. And it is very important and very serious. I have figured out my sexuality and I am gay. I know you may not have expected this, but I want, no need, your support in this. It would really help me and mean so much if I could trust you will be there for me."
July 9th, 2015 11:52pm
There are a few things to figure out beforehand. First, are you sure of your sexuality? It's very common for parents to ask how sure you are, or to suggest that you try being with someone of the opposite gender. Second, are you comfortable with it? If you're not confident in who you are, then maybe you should wait to tell your family if you're not sure how they'll react. If both of the above are taken care of, then try to find a way to have a one-on-one, (or one-on-two) calm conversation with your parent(s). You know them best, and you know the emotional climate at home in order to choose timing. In my case, I told my father right before he left on a business trip because I knew that I might not see him for a long time. If you're living with your parents and/or are financially dependent on them, then it's okay to wait to tell them. Only you know the situation well enough to make an informed decision. Also, don't be surprised if your parents take time to adjust. My mother wasn't happy at first, and she mourned the straight life/family that I wouldn't have. It took her a few years to become comfortable enough to talk about it openly with me. Every parent is different. However you choose to do it, make sure that you have the right motive. Never come out during a period of anger or during an argument. Be patient with your parents. I wish you the best of luck, and I welcome you to message me if you want to talk one-on-one about it!
July 10th, 2015 4:48am
I did it through e-mail because I always found it the most simplest and easiest way to communicate things that i was not comfortable with yet. Do it in the most comfortable form of conversation you normally have with your parents.
July 10th, 2015 1:56pm
Make them sit in front of you, Look in their eyes straight, And Come out of your closet! Nothing else. :)
July 10th, 2015 3:58pm
the best way, although the most nerve racking is face to face, showing that you have no fear and no shame in who you are will have a positive effect on them, make sure they know this is you, this is who you are, and nothing nor no one can change that, be confident
July 10th, 2015 4:31pm
Well, as a pansexual i went into my cupboard and rolled out dragging pans with me and yelling "i'm coming out with the rest of the pans". So if you have parents who are accepting, you could go into a closet and walk out, but if you're parents aren't accepting, then i would advise you sit them down and break it to them slowly.
July 10th, 2015 8:22pm
These situations aren't always easy, for both groups. By discussing your status, you can ease it into the conversation. Just explain to them how you feel and where you stand in the matter. Take time to figure out a time and place, or, whenever you're ready. Don't be afraid, be proud of who you are, and what you stand for.
July 10th, 2015 9:29pm
Firstly I would say would you love me no matter what? Id say to your parents I am still the same person but I would like to tell you I am gay. I would then explain the way I have been feeling.
July 11th, 2015 5:30am
Be honest with them, sit them down and explain how it all started so they can get an understanding of how you were feeling then also explain what your thoughts are now and how you would like them to help you in this journey.
July 11th, 2015 10:04am
Make sure they understand that you are completely sure and happy as you are. If they truly love you (as I'm sure they do) they will be more concerned about your happiness then who you're mackin' on. Just be honest and have a smile on your face. Let your parents see that you are proud of who you are and make sure they fully understand everything that you're telling them.
July 11th, 2015 2:14pm
Sit down and tell them that you have to tell them something important. Then just say it and see thei
July 11th, 2015 6:47pm
would you rather a dead son or a gay one?
July 12th, 2015 4:19am
There isn't just one way to tell your parents about your sexual orientation because each set of parents are different in terms of reaction. Dropping subtle hints can help one approach the situation. Confidence is good and the right setting. But it is good to keep in mind that you have to fist accept yourself and remember you ar still the same person.