How can show my children love and affection?
Last Updated: 07/16/2018 at 12:12pm
Theresa Gulliver, Registered Clinical Counsellor
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You can show your children love and affection by many different ways depending on their age and personality. When they are young, hugs and physical touch are important and well as giving lots of encouragement and specific praise. When they begin puberty, their needs begin to change. Some good ways I am trying to find to show love to my children at this age are acts of service, words of encouragement, and spending quality time with them. I am still wanting hugs and affection from my teens and they give it, but it is a lot less during the middle stages of puberty at least in my case of 3 kids. This is ok. Each child and different. You can spend some time observing them and talking with them to find out how they like to receive love and affection. Another way to know how to do this is by watching how they give love and affection to you and others. This can tell you a lot about how they like to receive love. Thank you for asking this great question.
For me, I show my love and affection to my children through spending quality time with them. I may not have a lot of time due to work, so I make sure the time I do have between work and household responsibilities I dedicate to them. Whether it's a story before bed, a hug in the morning, a picnic in the yard, just something to show them that I am paying attention to them. We don't have a lot of money, so our activities usually have to be little to no cost. Through these activities/actions, I'm able to show my children love and affection. And I always remember, my house doesn't have to be spotless and dinner doesn't always have to be amazing - my children however, always need some love and affection.
Tell them that you love them and always will. Don't go back on your word, and be honest with them. Be caring and not abusive. Let them make their own decisions and grow into who they were meant to be, and guide them along the way; let them fall every now and them, but be there to catch them or help them back up on their feet.
By telling them that you love them, even if not always in the same way. tell them you're proud they are doing well, that they did something good... and so on.
Think of how you would want to be shown love and affection. If you know how you would like to have it shown to you, use that as a basis to show love and affection to your children.
As a parent myself, one of the best ways to show your love and affection for my child was to be sure to spend quality time with them. Its not the monetary things you buy them or give them. Its about giving them the love and affection that a child needs. That a child should have. Being a parent is one the best, most rewarding roles you can have in life. Children are only kids for so long, and time has funny way of going by in the blink of an eye. Before you know it children are no longer children, and they grow up. If I could turn back the time, I wouldn't worry about the little things like the mess my child made, or the sleep I didn't get, or the things he did wrong. I would just be sure to spend the most time with him and make it the best time that we spent together. When being a parent, to me, its about "quality" of the time you spend, not quantity of the things you give or don't give. Just be sure to be there and love them unconditionally no matter what.
I can spend as much time with them as I am able. I can kiss them goodnight, hold them when they're sad, pick them up when they fall, and support them in every choice they make.
By giving them your time. Playing games, talking, listening, telling them that you are proud of them. Be interested in them and what they are doing.
There are many ways starting with being present in their lives, showing respect and understanding. Doing things that they like to do.
Get them up with love in the morning. Get up atleast 1/2 hour early to them. Encourage them to do things and appreciate them if they do it. Hug them frequently. Rather than getting angry, Give them reason why you are upset.
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